Tag Archives: Suzanne Oshima

Relationship Expert Tag Archive: Suzanne Oshima

Feb 20, 2018 0

Dating Advice Video: Stop Settling for Men Who Don’t Deserve You!

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos


By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Tinzley Bradford about how to stop settling for men who don’t deserve you. Here, Bradford shares three signs that you’re with the wrong man.

Relationship Author Reveals How to Stop Settling in Dating Advice Video


1. You’re unhappy: “If you’re constantly unhappy with how you’re being treated, you’re settling,” Bradford shares. “Love and a healthy relationship does not create confusion or make you feel unhappy, unstable, or even uncertain.” You should be in a relationship with someone who brings out the best in you and makes you feel good about yourself.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: The Questions You Should Be Asking Him

2. Your relationship isn’t reciprocal: “It takes two to tango, baby!” Bradford exclaims. If you’re always giving but never getting enough back, you’re settling. You deserve a man who loves you just as much as you love him. “He’s got to be doing his part in your relationship,” the relationship author adds.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How to Fall in Love with Dating 

3. You feel guilty for being you: “If you’re in a relationship with a guy who’s competing against you, belittling your dreams, and not being excited about your success, you don’t need to be with that person” she shares. You should never be with someone who makes you feel guilty for wanting to shine.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Feb 19, 2018 0

Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Posted In: Relationship Experts, Suzanne Oshima, Paige Wyatt and Robert Manni Articles
Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?
Concerned woman. Photo: Kzenon / Bigstock.com

Question from Sonya M.: Facebook is the official/unofficial way of announcing a relationship. Is it too vindictive to unfriend an ex, or is that the right move when you enter a new relationship?

Social media is a fun way to share your relationship with friends and family, but if that relationship ends, the waters can get a little murky. Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using social media in the right way! Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they answer your question about whether or not you should unfriend your ex after a break-up. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice for Unfriending Your Ex on Facebook

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to dating after a break-up or divorce, it’s important to know that removing all traces of your ex on social media isn’t about being vindictive — it’s about moving on.

This is the last step at the end of your relationship, so now is the time for some “spring cleaning.” Daily reminders of him won’t allow you to move forward with your love life, so remember the saying “out of sight, out of mind.” This will remove any temptation to cyber snoop or check in on what he’s doing and who he’s dating. All in all, if you continue to stay connected, then you’re holding on — and this can hold you back from moving forward into another relationship.

Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: How Can You Tell Red Flags From Online Dating?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Even though people have become too reliant on social media as their main form of communication, announcing a new relationship on Facebook can feel great and be validating. It’s a nice way of putting something out there about yourself that you feel good about for the people you enjoying sharing with.

On the other hand, if you no longer have an offline connection with an ex and do not feel comfortable posting about your new relationship for them to see, it’s perfectly acceptable to unfriend them. However, if you remain on good terms and they’re cool, there is no harm in staying connected with an ex on Facebook.

There are no strict rules or protocol about this. Listen to your inner compass and do what feels best for you. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

Connect with Cupid
Feb 13, 2018 0

Dating Advice Video: How to Get Men to Pursue You Like Crazy

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship strategist and coach Cyndi Olin about three ways to get men to pursue you like crazy. Listen to their expert dating advice in the video above!

Relationship Experts Discuss How to Get Men to Pursue You in Dating Advice Video

1. Smile: With this piece of expert dating advice, Olin reminds us of the saying, “Your presence is a present.” Walk out the door, be present in your body, and smile — and you can attract men like crazy. Eye contact and compliments pair well with a smile. “That’s like a ‘come over’ signal,” she explains. “90 percent of the time, a man will approach you and at least start talking to you. It’s all about your energy.”

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Beware of These Relationships

2. Engage with them: “There’s a lot of advice out there, including to let a man lead,” Olin shares. “While I believe that, men are confused when it comes to modern dating.” Men are often very careful as a way to ensure that they’re respecting you. Have a belief deep down in your soul that men are good people, and make an effort to get to know them. Remember: Your vibe attracts your tribe.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: What Men Want You to Know

3. Let go: After you smile and engage with them, let them be the one to pursue you, to call you more. “You’re not pursuing. You’re a friendly receptor of light,” Olin says. “You want him to pursue you, and he’s looking for permission to do that.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Feb 6, 2018 0

Expert Relationship Advice: Two Things That Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to love and dating coach Jaki Sabourin about two things that make a man fall in love and commit to a relationship. Watch the video above for their best expert relationship advice!

Expert Relationship Advice to Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

…Don’t miss this great relationship advice!

Connect with Cupid
Jan 26, 2018 0

Dating Advice Video: Why Smart, Successful Women Can Fail at Love

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Duana Welch about why smart, successful women can fail at love. “I was in grad school getting a doctorate in the social sciences, and I realized that I was pretty good at that, but I really wasn’t good at love,” Welch shares. “I knew there was something that I was doing wrong — because the common denominator in all of my relationships was me.” Here, she shares three reasons why succeeding at love is hard for so many women.

Relationship Author Duana Welch Is Interviewed in Dating Advice Video

1. The things women do to succeed at work don’t work in the world of dating: At work, women are told to put themselves forward, pursue what they want, and lead their co-workers, but in a relationship, those qualities are often unrewarded. “Research shows that women who routinely pursue men are seen as low-status and not good wife material,” Welch explains. “I hate that!”

“If I liked a man…I was kind of shoving myself down his throat,” the relationship author adds of her own dating mishaps. “Of course, I didn’t see it that way. There’s never been a perfume called Desperation, and there never will be. But in the world of work, that stuff works.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Move a Stagnant Relationship to Commitment

2. Some men hold a woman’s success against her: There was a study done where researchers put up two identical dating profiles. One emphasized the woman being young and beautiful, while the other focused on her being an educated, high-powered attorney. Unfortunately, it’s no surprise that the first profile got a lot more hits. “One reason is because men respond to youth and beauty, but it’s also because men are intimidated by women who have achieved more than they have,” Welch explains.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Times Women Say ‘Yes’ But Shouldn’t

3. We have a confirmation bias: In other words, we see what we want to see. “You fall in bed and fall in love, and then you find out the dealbreakers,” Welch shares. Instead, spare yourself the pain and take early action to determine your must-haves and dealbreakers. Then, you’ll be able to make a more informed decisions about your emotions.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Jan 30, 2018 0

Expert Dating Advice: What’s Blocking Me From Finding Love?

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Iris Benrubi about what may be blocking you from finding love.

Relationship Expert Iris Benrubi Shares Her Best Dating Advice

1. You don’t understand your attachment strategy: “It comes from your childhood when you were totally dependent on your parents. You had to decide, Can I depend on them or not?” Benrubi explains. For instance, if you had a parent who was inconsistent, you may have developed an anxious attachment strategy, meaning you’re always gauging how close someone is and tend to chase after men. Or if you had a parent who just disappeared, you most likely developed an avoidant attachment style and tend to keep others at a distance. “You need to recognize what you bring to relationships and what you need to do move away from harmful attachment strategies,” the relationship expert adds.

Benrubi also encourages you to learn how to manage your anxiety — whether it’s with meditation, affirmations, breathing, or yoga. If you can’t do it on your own, reach out to a professional for help.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Find Love

2. You move inwards after a break-up: It’s so tempting to want to keep your heart safe and say, “I don’t need a man.” “Underneath that, the reality is that we need to be connected to another person romantically,” Benrubi says. We’re actually biologically wired to need people in our life, so don’t let the fear of getting hurt again hold you back from a relationship. “Of course, we can all survive on our own, but we really want to be with that right person,” Oshima adds.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 3 Tips to Turn Around Your Dating Life

3. You don’t know your own worth “In order to get into a relationship with a good man, we need to get really clear on our value,” Benrubi shares. If you’ve been in a partnership with someone who puts you down or had a childhood where you were dismissed or felt invisible, you may try to earn a man’s love. “When you’re in that ‘earn energy,’ he’s up here, and you’re down here. You’re always dog paddling and trying to figure out what you need to do next,” she explains. “It’s exhausting.” If you want a man who respects you, you have to respect yourself first.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Jan 23, 2018 0

Expert Dating Advice: What to Do When He Disappears

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Wendy Newman to discuss what to do when a man disappears and offer their best expert dating advice. “It’s heartbreaking; it’s horrible because you don’t get closure,” Oshima says. Here, Newman shares why men often disappear and the best ways to handle this devastating dating occurrence.

Relationship Author Wendy Newman Shares Expert Dating Advice

First, there are two main culprits for why he just disappears. Let’s say you have an amazing time together and you can tell he’s just as into you as you are to him. Then, suddenly, he’s gone. “What I’m guessing happened is, he got home and started reconciling all of the conversations that you had,” Newman explains. “He could see that there was a dealbreaker in there that didn’t stop him in the moment because you are so charming and enchanting. But after he came down from the high of the date, he thought, “Oh, shoot.” Men don’t call again because they feel like they don’t owe us anything because there’s no relationship yet. “They think they’re doing us a favor by just disappearing,” the relationship author adds. “They don’t understand how that drives us insane.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Be a Fantastic Date for Anyone!

Another reason he may disappear is because, although he thinks you’re wonderful, it’s just not the right time for a serious relationship. He sees that you’re the whole package — a delicious, gourmet meal — but all he has an appetite for right now is ice cream. Newman emphasizes that “timing is a big piece of dating.”

Since you may never know why he really disappeared, Newman suggests making up the most empowering interpretation of the situation, giving yourself the closure you need to move on. In her personal experience, sometimes, this made-up interpretation can turn out to be true! Most importantly, remember that the reason why men disappear usually has nothing to do with you. Keep reminding yourself of your self-worth — maybe, just maybe, you were simply too good for him.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Don’t Be a Rules Girl!

If you still need to alleviate some heartache, draft an e-mail to him and thank him for all of the parts of him and the date that you found enjoyable and memorable. Tell him that you had a great time with him and let him know that you understand there must not have been a connection for him. You don’t have to hit send — just do whatever you need to do to feel better. “Don’t have any expectations — you may get a response, and you may not,” Oshima says. “Either way, you just have to let it go and move on.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Jan 8, 2018 0

Dating Advice Q&A: How Do I Get My Husband to Disconnect From His Phone?

Posted In: Relationship Experts, Suzanne Oshima, Paige Wyatt and Robert Manni Articles
Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: How Do I Get My Husband to Disconnect From His Phone?
Peeking at cell phone. Photo: Nicoleta Lonescu / Bigstock.com

Question from Rachel S.: My husband is a general manager, so even when he leaves work, he’s still working from his phone. He doesn’t mean to, but lately, he’s been so wrapped in his phone that he ignores me when I talk. He seems genuinely apologetic and interested when I get his attention, but it’s getting it that’s hard. How can I get him to disconnect from his phone at the end of the day?

Technology makes our lives better in so many ways, but it can also be a distraction, especially if you or your partner has trouble unplugging at the end of the work day. Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using technology, like your cell phone, in the right way. Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they answer your question on how to politely encourage your significant other to disconnect from their phone. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice About Unplugging

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to technology, its biggest strength is also its biggest weakness: It connects us, but it also disconnects us from the ones that are standing right in front of us. Your husband may not be intentionally trying to hurt or ignore you, but in this age of technology and mobile phones, it’s easy to get lost in multitasking.

My recommendation is to share with him how his constant connection to his phone makes you feel unimportant and disconnected from him. Then, just ask him to put away the phone on date nights so that the two of you can spend quality time together, uninterrupted by a flurry of notifications and messages. It’s the perfect way to reconnect with each other emotionally and romantically after working all day.

Related Link: Dating & Technology Q&A: Is It Weird If He Doesn’t Call Back After a Date?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: It all comes down to communication. In today’s culture, we are are tethered to work 24/7, and you may not be aware of some job pressures your husband is experiencing but not sharing. Getting him to open up about work may be a good way of broaching the phone issue.

Another angle is stressing the positives — how much you and your family value your time with him and how important it is for your husband to invest as much energy in you as he does in his job and his phone. A healthy balance between work and home life is critical to any marriage.

A third, wild-card approach is planning a night planned by you featuring some good old-fashion seduction. If that doesn’t get him to put his phone down, you may have a bigger issue on your hands. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

Connect with Cupid
Jan 9, 2018 0

Dating Advice: How to Fall In Love with Dating

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Tinzley Bradford about how to fall in love with dating. Here, Bradford shares three pieces of dating advice to help you go into dating with a positive attitude so that you actually enjoy it.

Relationship Author Gives Dating Advice


1. Fall in love with yourself first: “A lot of times, we go into a relationship thinking that we’re ready,” Bradford says. “In order for you to be healthy and find excitement and joy in dating again, you must first find excitement and joy in yourself.” Once you’re in a good place both physically and mentally, a man will be able to instantly see that you’re the total package and gravitate towards your energy. Oshima adds, “Be the best version of yourself.”

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: The Questions You Should Be Asking Him

2. Give it a shot: You can’t fall in love with dating if you don’t try! Every date in your past wasn’t a horror story, right? “Think of the ones that were good,” the relationship author explains. “Pay attention to the signs in the early stages of a relationship.” Don’t let previous romantic failures keep you from truly giving dating a shot. “Do what you need to do to get out there,” Oshima says of this dating advice.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: Signs You’re Settling for the Wrong Man

3. You have to trust the process: If you have trust issues, dating will be hard. “Trust, trust, trust that starting fresh will make you feel good,” Bradford shares. Remember that all men aren’t dogs — trust that the next one you meet will be worth your time.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Dec 26, 2017 0

Relationship Advice: How to Emotionally Connect with a Man

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to love and dating coach Jaki Sabourin about how to emotionally connect with a man and get engaged at any age. Watch the video above for their best relationship advice!

Relationship Advice to Help You Emotionally Connect with a Man

…Want to know more? Click here to continue!

Connect with Cupid
Dec 19, 2017 0

Dating Advice Video: What Men Want You to Know

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship strategist and coach Cyndi Olin about three things that men want you to know. “There’s a complete disconnect in what women think men want,” Oshima reveals.

Relationship Experts Discuss What Men Want You to Know in Dating Advice Video

1. Men are actually very sensitive: Women often think men aren’t sensitive, but that’s just not the case. “In order to feel connected, they need to feel heard and needed,” Olin shares. “And if they don’t feel those two things from a woman, they’re not going to be fully connected or engaged with her.” As much as you want him to understand you, he wants to feel understood as well. “Be curious about him,” Olin adds.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Beware of These Relationships

2. Men want to feel needed: Expanding on the first secret about men, they also want to feel respectfully needed. “Allowing him to support you is something that fills him up,” Olin explains. “It’s so important for women to realize that, as strong and independent as we are, we love a man who can take care of things for us, who can handle things for us,” Oshima says.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: What Attracts a Man

3. Men want to feel appreciated: If he feels appreciated for the things that he does, he’s going to do it ten-fold. “In fact, you won’t feel like, in your relationships, you have to do all of the heavy lifting,” the relationship coach explains. “He’s going to do more and more.” Plus, he’ll continue to build you up and support you if he feels like you’re doing the same for him.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Dec 12, 2017 0

Expert Dating Advice: How Can I Find Out More About Him Before I Commit?

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos


By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Duana Welch about how you can find out more about someone before you commit. “Ladies, I don’t want you jumping into a relationship with someone until you really know important things about him,” Oshima explains. So listen up to this expert dating advice!

Relationship Author Duana Welch Shares Her Best Dating Advice

1. Leverage your contact with his friends and family: If he’s crazy about you, he’ll want to introduce you to his friends early on. If he keeps you out of his inner circle, he’s sending a message. When you do meet them, “listen to what they say about him,” Welch shares.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Move a Stagnant Relationship to Commitment

2. Ask him about his ex: Specifically, ask him what she would say is the reason they broke up. In Welch’s experience, men answer this question honestly. “You need to listen to his answer — is that something you can live with?” she says. For example, one man said his ex-wife thought he was a slob — and he really was! “Some women are cool with that, but most aren’t,” Welch adds.

3. Google is your friendAlmost everybody has a media footprint.  “Studies show that the way people present themselves on social media is actually pretty accurate,” the relationship author explains. “You would think people would project the image they want, but most people don’t.”

Related Link: Dating Advice: Times Women Say ‘Yes’ But Shouldn’t

4. Look at what they do: Give their actions five times the weight of their words. “Some men are really good at saying what a women wants to hear, so I always say to my clients, ‘Watch their actions,'” Oshima says. Also, remember that honest people don’t proclaim how honest they are. “They make an assumption that they are honest and that the world is honest,” Welch adds.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Dec 5, 2017 0

Dating Advice Video: Can I Change a Man?

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Iris Benrubi about whether or not you can change a man. “They all come in to change each other,” she says of her clients. “Women especially think they can change their man.”

Relationship Expert Iris Benrubi Shares Her Best Dating Advice

1. You’re not his mother: You don’t want to be in a relationship where you’re the mommy and he’s the child. You have to accept him for the way he is. “You don’t get to shape him. You don’t have a say in whether he measures up or not,” Benrubi explains.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: How to Find Love

2. Any change that he makes for you isn’t sustainable: One of the top two mistakes that women make is falling in love with a man’s potential. “If only he would…” If he starts communicating more because you want him to, not because it’s part of who he is, it’s never going to last. “Have you ever tried to get fit or go on a diet for somebody else?” the relationship expert asks. “It doesn’t last that long because the motivation isn’t in there.” If a man wants to change something about himself, great. Otherwise, accept him where he’s at, or move forward if he can’t be what you need.

3. Be clear about what you want: If a guy who dresses nice is important to you, then make that known. If not, let it go. “You have to decide what you’re looking for,” Benrubi says. “Are you looking for the external? Or are you looking for the internal — a guy who loves you and accepts you the way you are?”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 3 Tips to Turn Around Your Dating Life

So if you can’t change a man, can you inspire him to want to change? Start by telling him how you’re feeling — that helps him be receptive to your request. Then, share what you need from him in a way that’s respectful. Finish by explaining what this change would do for you. “A good man ultimately wants to make you happy,” Benrubi shares.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Nov 28, 2017 0

Dating Advice: Be a Fantastic Date for Anyone!

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Wendy Newman to discuss how to be a fantastic date for anyone and offer their best expert dating advice. Newman shares three ways to present your best self on a date — so listen up!

Relationship Author Wendy Newman Shares Expert Dating Advice

1. Act as if you already know him and be energetic: Start the conversation as you would with a best friend and simply ask him how his week has been or how he’s doing. “It shows that you’re interested in him as a whole person instead of the checklist items you have that you want to check off,” Newman explains. “And it has the conversation start so organically that it can go anywhere.” Oftentimes, if you zip your lips and just listen, he’ll open up quickly and let you get to know him right off the bat. Of being energetic, Oshima adds, “Enthusiasm attracts people — it brings them in.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: The Biggest Dating Pitfalls

2. Focus on broad questions: Avoid interview questions: Don’t ask him how many people he manages or how long he’s worked somewhere. Instead, ask questions like, “What do you love about your life?” or “What’s coming up that you’re really looking forward to?” “Ask really broad questions where he can go shallow or he can go deep,” the relationship author says. “And if the answer is ‘nothing’ to all of those questions, that’s really important information for you to have.”

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Don’t Be a Rules Girl!

3. Give him 30 seconds of silence: Be willing to be engaged in the conversation, but after he’s done talking, give him a little bit of time to see if he has anything else to add. “This is completely counterintuitive to women,” the relationship author shares. “Women are squirming in their seats after five seconds, but men’s brains are designed differently than our’s.” If you want him to say more, you have to give him a chance.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Nov 21, 2017 0

Dating Advice Video: The Questions You Should Be Asking Him

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Tinzley Bradford to discuss the questions you should be asking him and offer their best relationship advice. Here, Bradford shares the top three questions that women should ask on early dates to weed out the men who aren’t worth their time.

Relationship Author Gives Dating Advice


1. Are you looking for a long-term relationship? “That is a question that you have to ask,” Bradford says. There’s no use in wasting your time with someone who tells you up front that they just want to have some fun or date casually. If you know you’re looking for something long-term, then you should be dating someone who’s looking for the same thing. Unfortunately, a lot of men get scared by this question, so it’s helpful to start with a disclosure statement: “I don’t want to scare you or make you think I’m jumping too far ahead, but I’d love to know if you’re looking for a long-term relationship.”

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: 5 Biggest Turn-Ons for a Man

2. Why are you interested in me? This question, which you should ask after several dates, will help you figure out if he’s interested in the way you look or if he’s truly interested in who you are. For it to last, it has to be more than just your physical attributes.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: Signs You’re Settling for the Wrong Man

3. Are you single? You have to know! “Don’t wait for him to say, ‘Oh, I thought you knew when you saw the ring,'” the relationship author shares. “If he’s asking you questions that lead you to believe you won’t be exclusive with him, I’d be very skeptical.” Oshima adds, “I think women would actually be surprised at how many men are married or in a relationship already.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Nov 14, 2017 0

Dating Advice Video: Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to dating coach Jaki Sabourin about how to stop attracting emotionally unavailable men. Don’t miss their expert dating advice!

Jaki Sabourin Shares Expert Dating Advice

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: The Secrets to Attraction

1. Stop yourself from being emotionally unavailable: As Sabourin explains, according to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like — so if you show signs of being emotionally unavailable, you’ll attract a partner with similar qualities. Instead, start creating a sense of emotional availability when interacting with men. For instance, if you go out with a guy who’s angry, don’t withdraw from him. Show compassion and try to get him to open up by asking him questions.

2. Get past your own insecurities and take bigger risks: Ask him sensitive questions that will encourage him to open up to you. Oftentimes, the cause of a man’s emotional unavailability is his own past and pain. Begin by asking him questions like, “What have you gone through?” and “Is there something that’s holding you back from finding love?”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Get Men to Fall into Your Lap

3. Get over your fear of rejection: When we’re afraid of getting hurt, it’s easy to withdraw and disconnect ourselves from our partners. By talking to your partner with care and gentleness, you’ll help him realize that he’s truly missing out on love by putting up such a strong defense. Remember that there is no perfect man or woman. Relationships are all about relating to each other in ways that strengthen your connection.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Nov 7, 2017 0

Expert Dating Advice: Beware of These Kinds of Relationships

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to dating coach Cyndi Olin about what types of relationships to beware of. Plus, they share their best expert dating advice for how to handle them.

Cyndi Olin Shares Expert Dating Advice

1. The “fast and furious” relationship: In this type of relationship, you have chemistry immediately and quickly go from one date to spending all of your time together. This guy moves from “zero to sixty.” As Olin explains, “What is common in these types of relationships is…the men who have them are inadvertently  chemically attracted to women who are really wanting to feel loved.” While it may seem like a fairy tale at first, after six weeks to three months, the man unexpectedly puts the brakes on. He may disappear completely; he may stop calling you; he may tell you he’s not ready for a relationship.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: What Attracts a Man?

But why does he do it? “It starts to become real and isn’t just a fantasy anymore,” Olin shares. “In the beginning, he’s in a drunken haze — he’s enjoying his time with you, but it’s not based on reality.” The relationship never had an opportunity to build the strong foundation that it needed to last.

So ladies, it’s up to you to control the pace of the relationship. “It’s not a race to the finish line,” Oshima adds. Don’t let the fear of losing him keep you from slowing things down. Always make sure you’re comfortable with the pace of your relationship, and remember that taking it slow allows him to truly get to know you.

2. A relationship with a narcissistic, psychopathic man: It’s no surprise that this type of relationship can be very dangerous. These men can be very charming and alluring, but everything is always about them. “They will do all of the work until they get you hooked. They can be very patient with the right women,” Olin says. Women become so attached to these men that they find themselves going back to them even though they know they’re not good for them.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 3 Ways to Be Irresistible to a Man

Eventually, he will start to criticize you. Nothing is ever good enough, and you’ll find yourself feeling confined, almost as if you’re in a box. “Oftentimes, women will try to prove themselves in the relationship and start giving more than he is. The balance of the relationship becomes off,” the dating coach explains. “The woman becomes unhappy, and he becomes more powerful and power-hungry.”

Can either of these relationships ever work? For the first type of relationship, the answer is yes. As a woman, you can control the pace of the relationship, building a strong foundation of lasting love. For the second type of relationship, it depends on the man and just how narcissistic or psychopathic he is. If he wants to break his habits and truly find love, it is possible to have a happy partnership. It’s important to remember that, for any relationship, a man has to be willing to work on himself.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Oct 31, 2017 0

Expert Dating Advice: How to Move a Stagnant Relationship to Commitment

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Duana Welch about their best expert dating advice for women for moving a stagnant relationship to commitment. “You don’t get this question a lot from guys because they’re in the pursuer role,” Welch explains. So ladies, listen up!

Relationship Expert Duana Welch Shares Her Tips for Commitment

It’s not as simple as just asking him. It’s tempting to approach him directly with your concern, but Welch encourages you to avoid doing so. “Studies show that guys move you from the possible Mrs. Right category to the Mrs. Right Now category when you do that,” the relationship author warns. “They think you’re low status, that you don’t have any other options.” So how can you move your relationship forward?

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Times Women Say ‘Yes’ But Shouldn’t

1. Become slightly less available: This piece of dating advice doesn’t give you an excuse to be mean or ugly to him. Instead, if he calls and you’re in the middle of something, wait a day and then call him back. Be super friendly and warm and simply explain that you were busy. “Let him hear the smile in your voice,” Welch explains. “Men want to make you happy — they feel like crap when they make you unhappy. Pair being slightly less available with being really rewarding to be with when you’re present.”

2. Test commitment with jealousy: “This is really unpopular — boy, have I received some hate mail from men!” Welch shares. But creating jealousy can be a good thing. Among women who create jealous intentionally in a male partner, it’s usually because she didn’t know if he cared or how much he cared. For instance, by accepting a date with someone else, you can easily gauge how it makes a guy feel. “If you do that and he doesn’t care, then he doesn’t care. It’s a really accurate litmus test,” says the relationship author.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Dealing With Dating Burnout

3. Avoid ultimatums: Both Oshima and Welch feel strongly that you should never give a man an ultimatum. “It will backfire on you. Even if he goes along with it, he’ll feel like he’s backed into a corner, and he’ll probably rebel later on,” Oshima explains. “It’s always better if he comes to a decision on his own.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Oct 30, 2017 0

Dating & Technology Q&A: How Do I Get My Girlfriend to Stop Posting Racy Photos?

Posted In: Relationship Experts, Suzanne Oshima, Paige Wyatt and Robert Manni Articles
Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating & Technology Q&A: How Do I Get My Girlfriend to Stop Posting Racy Photos?
Girl using smartphone. Photo: Andres / Bigstock

Question from David T.: I’ve been with my girlfriend for a long time. We have a great relationship, but she often posts suggestive photos of herself on social media, and it makes me uncomfortable. How can I get her to keep that part of herself between us instead of for all the world to see?

Dating in the era of social media can be difficult. Parts of your relationship that were once private can now easily be shared online. So what do you do if one partner likes sharing racy photos but it makes the other person uncomfortable? Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using technology the right way. Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they’ll answer your question on how to ask your significant other to keep personal parts of your relationship (like racy photos) private. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice About Social Media & Racy Photos

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: I can completely understand why it makes you feel uncomfortable that your girlfriend posts suggestive photos herself on social media, but I’m guessing that this is something she was doing well before you started dating her. While you can’t stop her from posting the racy photos, I recommend just being completely honest with her. Share your feelings with her and let her make her own decision about whether she wants to continue posting the photos. If she doesn’t want to risk losing you, I’ll bet she’ll tone it done a bit, but don’t expect her to completely stop posting those types of photos, especially on Halloween!

Related Link: Dating & Technology Q&A: My Partner Fishes For Likes — What Do I Do?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Millennials have little, if any, filters when it comes to posting to their social media pages. Whether they’re on Instagram showing their fitness routines and progress pictures or booty shaking on Snapchat, it’s all out there for the world to see. And for that reason, and if you and your lady share a clear understanding about your commitment to each other, I do not see this as a major issue. However, if you’re uncomfortable with her sharing too many racy photos, ask her why she does this. Is it driven by self-esteem, competitiveness, or narcissism? Or is she simply comfortable in her own skin and wants to celebrate her good looks while she’s young and beautiful? Tell her how you feel — because if you don’t the world will be watching her while you wait. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

Connect with Cupid
Oct 24, 2017 0

Dating Advice Video: How to Find Love

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Iris Benrubi about her top three tips to help you find love.

Relationship Expert Iris Benrubi Shares Her Tips for Finding Love

Related Link: Dating Advice Video on How to Attract The Right Man

1. Know your own worth: This tip is especially important for women going through a break-up or divorce, as feelings of resignation and desperation can cloud your perception of yourself. “When we own our value, we start to get clear on what it is that we’re looking for, and then, we become the chooser,” Benrubi explains. “And that gives us a lot of power.” It’s also important to build your self-confidence back up before you start dating again.

2. Trust yourself: Increase your ability to trust yourself by connecting with your intuition. “Our head can really play tricks on us,” the relationship expert says. But our intuition lives in our body, so dig deep and think about how certain things make you feel. Each person will have their own ways of understanding their intuition and how their body responds to a yes and a no. For instance, to get clear on your no’s, think about a recent ex and how he or she makes your body feel. Always remember that your intuition can’t point you in the wrong direction.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 3 Tips to Turn Around Your Dating Life

3. Recognize when a man is emotionally unavailable: There are certain behaviors to look out for: He doesn’t follow-up or communicate between dates; he’s dismissive; he’s not interested in learning more about you. Don’t ignore these red flags! Instead, address them with him; doing so will help you determine if he’s truly capable of fulfilling your needs in a relationship. “Watch a man’s actions; don’t listen to his words,” Oshima adds.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Oct 17, 2017 0

Expert Dating Advice: The Biggest Dating Pitfalls

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Wendy Newman to discuss the biggest dating pitfalls and offer their best expert dating advice. Newman shares the five dating pitfalls that women often fall into and how to avoid them.

Relationship Author Wendy Newman Shares Expert Dating Advice

1. Feeling obligated to please a man: Women often worry about hurting a man’s feelings or displeasing him, but it’s important to keep your own feelings in mind. For instance, say you meet a man on a blind date, and he lied about his age and appearance. Rather than accepting the lie and sitting through the date, reject him graciously. Explain that he lied and that you won’t be staying. As Oshima explains, “The one thing you can never get back is your time.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Are You Intimidating Men?

2. Approaching a man with too much information: When dating, it’s tempting to lead with your end game: that you’ll make a wonderful, loving wife someday. But for a man, that’s too much, too soon. To start, he just wants to know whether or not you’ll be a good friend. “Instead, say, ‘This is who I am as an interesting person. Who are you?'” says the relationship author.

3. Dating only one person at a time: By limiting yourself to a pool of one, you’re comparing that relationship to being alone. “And that’s not good. It’ll have us miss important things about them or not ask questions and dig in,” Newman shares. Plus, dating multiple men at once gives you a better understanding of what you want from a relationship.

4. Dealing negatively with compatibility and chemistry: Chemistry is essential to a healthy, happy relationship, but it’s not enough. It’s easy to become distracted by a handsome face or a successful career, but don’t make excuses for him if he’s not the whole package.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Don’t Be a Rules Girl!

5. Trying to be someone you’re not: According to Newman, this is the number one mistake. Don’t follow a set of rules or what you think you should do. Instead, figure out what works best for you as you’re building a relationship and stick with it.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Oct 3, 2017 0

Expert Dating Advice: The 5 Most Terrifying Words to a Man

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Dr. Jed Diamond to discuss the five most terrifying words to a man and offer their best relationship advice. Women are constantly worried about saying that right thing to men, and here, Dr. Diamond teaches you what not to say.

Relationship Author Gives Expert Dating Advice

…Don’t miss the rest! Click here for more.

Connect with Cupid
Sep 26, 2017 0

Dating Advice Video: 5 Biggest Turn-Ons for a Man

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Tinzley Bradford to discuss the five biggest turn-ons for men and offer their best relationship advice. Bradford shares five tips for how to attract men and reveals once and for all what turns a man on.
…Don’t miss the rest! Click here for more.

Connect with Cupid
Sep 19, 2017 0

Dating Advice Video: 5 Ways Women Sabotage Themselves with Men

Posted In: Dating Advice Videos, Single in Stilettos Shows Articles, Videos

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Robert Manni to discuss how women sabotage themselves with men and offer their best relationship advice. Here are five ways that women sabotage themselves when looking for love.

Relationship Author Gives Dating Advice


1. You’re not in it to win it: You may say you want to find love, but instead of going out to a new spot where you can actually meet someone, you find yourself in a routine of dinner at home and TV time. “You have to put yourself out there. You have to be willing to fail to be able to succeed,” Manni explains.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: 4 Ways To Make Your Man Happy!

2. You’re always plugged in: Put your phone down! If you’re walking around New York City with your earbuds in and music blaring, you’re presenting yourself as closed off and unavailable. It’s hard for a guy to ask an open-ended question or chat you up when you’re walled off through technology. Oshima adds, “Those are barriers to meeting someone organically.”

3. You’re not fishing where the fish are: “Go where the guys are!” the relationship author says. You can find guys are at sporting events, at the football field, at a tech store, at a whiskey tasting, or at the gym. Think about your brother and his friends — where do they often go?

4. You’re always with a group of girlfriends: It’s no secret that a pack of women can be overwhelming! Guys are wondering how to handle the group dynamics and just focus on the woman they’re truly interested in. Instead, make it easier for them and single yourself out.

Related Link: Dating Advice: 5 Signs He’s Taking the Relationship Seriously

5. You’re too attached to your list: This is one of the most important ways that women sabotage themselves. “If you stick too closely to your list, you’re going to narrow down your opportunities,” Manni explains. “And the longer you’re single, the longer your list grows.” Make sure your list only includes a few core qualities that are value-oriented and be flexible about your physical type.

A bonus way that women sabotage themselves with men: You throw someone back in the dating pool too quickly. One bad coffee date does not mean the relationship is doomed! “Love grows if you keep an open heart,” the relationship author says. “It can turn into something spectacular if you give love a chance.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

Connect with Cupid
Stories We Love!