Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: I’m Scared to Get Back Out There and Date!Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: I’m Scared to Get Back Out There and Date!

By Rachel Sparks

The relationship advice in this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video will help you overcome that paralyzing fear of dating! Whether you’ve just gotten out of a bad relationship or have been battling dating anxiety, relationship expert and Single in Stilettos founder Suzanne Oshima interviews relationship coach Iris Benrubi for the top three tips on how to overcome fear and get back into the dating game.

Relationship advice from relationship coach Iris Benrubi will help you overcome fear and help you start dating again!

1. Anxiety is normal: Benrubi says, “Anxiety is your body’s way of keeping you safe, but sometimes safe also means stuck.” Getting back into the dating game is frightening. After heartbreak, who wants to risk getting hurt again? Like Benrubi says in her relationship advice video, playing it safe often means doing what you already do, and that likely means staying alone. “Choose the pain,” Benrubi adds, “Would you rather have the pain of being alone or have the pain of putting yourself out there?”

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Dating After Heartbreak

2. Use dating to experiment: “Online dating is going to give you the biggest bang for your buck,” Benrubi says. “Use it as a place to experiment.” Oshima reminds viewers, “You are totally in control.” See what works and what people respond to. If something doesn’t work, don’t be disappointed or hurt, and instead try a different approach. Viewing dating, especially online dating, as an experiment removes you from the anxiety and allows you to have more fun. Dating should be fun!

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: What’s Blocking Me From Finding Love?

3. Know what you want: “Just saying you want a relationship is not enough,” Benrubi says. “Any man can give you a relationship.” Build a top ten list of traits and needs that a relationship should meet. Do you want a long or short-term relationship? Do you want kids? Do you want to live in the country or the city? Knowing these must-haves helps you avoid wasting time in the dating game and allows you to find someone who is not only a good person but also meets all your needs.

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