Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice: Thriving After DivorceCupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice: Thriving After Divorce

By Rachel Sparks

The relationship advice in this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video will help you move on and enjoy dating after divorce. Watch the video above, featuring founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima and Tanya Marie Dubé, for dating advice!

Dating Advice on How to Thrive After Divorce!

1. Accept the emotional cycle: Any loss, whether it be a death or a separation, entails an expected emotional cycle. Don’t be surprised if you are in denial, become angry, try to bargain, or enter depression. But hope prevails! “You wake up one day and a light bulb goes off,” Dubé says. She admits that during her own separation, she would “pull up the big girl panties and go on to the next thing without thinking about it.” The problem with avoiding the grief cycle is that, because you didn’t allow yourself time to process, you end up repeating previous mistakes in future relationships.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: What’s Blocking Me From Finding Love?

2. Re-learn yourself: After a long relationship, you’re a different person. You’ve spent your time thinking about you and your partner and, if relevant, your kids. Now, as a single woman, you have time to yourself and you should use that to explore what it is that you enjoy. Because you’ve changed, you need to relearn who you are and what makes you happy. “Right after a breakup, you have a low vibe and will attract someone with a low vibe,” Dubé says. Not taking the time to relearn who you are and build happiness risks landing you in a relationship similar to the one you just left. Take the time for yourself, and your next relationship will reap the rewards.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How to Fall in Love with Dating

3. Practice optimism and mindfulness: “Before I attract people, I want to attract happiness,” Dubé says. If you notice that you have a negative world view, you’ll never be happy, and no relationship can change that. You need to focus on the “triad of emotion,” as Dubé calls it. Fix any negative self-talk, adopt powerful body, and shift your focus on to the bigger picture. Divorce is painful and takes a toll on your mental health, but paying attention to the verbal and physical language you use and where your focus is can help you practice a positive mindset, which will make you happy with your life before you start dating again!

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