Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: You’re Scaring Men Off!Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: You’re Scaring Men Off!

By Rachel Sparks

The relationship advice from this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video will stop you from scaring off any more men! Relationship expert Suzanne Oshima interviews Bex Burton on ways that women run men off. Watch the video above to learn more!

Relationship Advice to Stop Scaring Men Off!

1. Stop future pacing: Women tend to think farther ahead then men when it comes to relationships. On the first date, you shouldn’t be thinking about whether or not he’s husband material; you should invest your energy in the present moment so you can get to know your date. “When we communicate from this place…we base our beliefs on our pasts,” Burton says. We don’t make expectations for the future based on the person in front of us, but rather on what we’ve experienced before. Men can see through this and they often run. Think about it; it’s intimidating to have your whole life planned out already when you don’t even know your date’s last name.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: How to Attract a Strong Man Who Takes the Lead

2. Stop shape-shifting: “When the images, words, and ideals that we use both online and in person aren’t representative of who we are in that moment, how is a man supposed to know who he is facing?” Burton asks. No one is the same person every day, but we do allow ourselves to act a certain way based on what we think the other person wants. When it comes to being a strong and independent woman, you don’t want to seem sheepish to placate a man’s ego, but you also don’t want to be so dominating that the man doesn’t feel like he will be valued. Flopping between the two personas is confusing; strive to find balance.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: The Secret to Attract a Commitment-Minded Man

3. Stop criticizing: Here’s a scenario: you’re in the car with your date and he asks what you want for dinner. How many of you have said you don’t care, but then get annoyed when he chooses a burger joint? “Don’t criticize a man for the choice you just empowered him to make,” Burton advises. If you do have preferences, state so. Phrasing your desires as a question will give your date direction and make him feel valued that he can care for you. Try saying something like, “I want healthy and fresh, what would you recommend?” Oshima adds, “Men hate women who don’t have an opinion.” It’s great to share your desires, but if you really don’t have an opinion, appreciate what your date does choose.

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