Question from Dani P: “So I’ve only been on a few dates with two separate girls. They are both cool and fun to hang out with. I told one girl that I was seeing someone else (we’ve only been on a couple of dates) and she said I have to choose. I don’t know if I should choose between them. If I don’t I won’t get to see what things could have become though. I came out of a long relationship a year ago and don’t think I’m ready to be serious, but I really like this girl. What should I do?”
What are you really looking for in dating two or more people?
Hi Dani,
It seems like you want to have your cake and eat it too, and fundamentally, there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, life is about finding joy and living your passion. So dating, which usually means seeing more than one person, is fine. However, life is determined by the choices we make, and it seems like it’s time to make some choices about what you want and who you want to spend your time with.
You are single and free and that’s all good, but you need to decide what you want out of dating. From my own experience, I’ve met too many people who did not know what they wanted out of dating, and to a person, these singles always ran into problems just like yours. For every single person who is unsure what they want there is another who knows precisely who and want they want. In your case, it sounds like the woman who does not want you dating others either wants you all to herself because she really digs you, or she is pulling a power play. You’ll have to do some work to find out which is true.
I suggest you take a step back and ask yourself what you want now that you’re single again. It sounds like you want to play the field for a while. If that’s true, then play the field and don’t allow anyone to control what you do, especially when you’re doing what say you want to do. If it feels too early to get serious with this person, tell her you dig her, but that you just got back into the single life and would like to take things slowly for now. If she does not accept that, this may be a sign of her future behavior and your freedom. Take note of how she reacts and her response.
On the other hand, you state that you like her and would like to see her again. Cool. Then tell her you like her and would like to see her again, but make sure she also knows that you are not ready to settle into a committed relationship at this time. If she’s understanding and she really digs you, she will respect your feelings and behave accordingly.
The bottom line is you need to decide for yourself what you want out of dating right now and then be honest and clear about how you feel with potential partners if the subject surfaces. After all, you are the priority, and if you are not sure of what you want or how you feel, it could send out indecisive energy that can lead to similar situations.
The good news is that you are happily single and free, you’re dating, and people want to date you. You’re in a better situation than many of your contemporaries and all you need to do is follow your heart, decide what works for you, and be crystal clear with your potential partners about where you stand if the subject comes up.
Hope this helps,
Guy’s Guy
Robert Manni
If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email gillian@nvmediainc.com
More about the Guy’s Guy:
Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.
His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.
Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by DatingAdvice.com.
Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.
Pumpkin spice lattes are great, but wait, it’s time to get wines for autumn. ‘Tis the season for snuggling, cuddling, and binge-watching your favorite shows with a libation to sip and savor. What this means is that it’s time to stock up on wine. Have a good supply so that you are ready for crisp cold nights and snowstorms. Plus, you never know when Netflix is going to drop a new surprise show on a Friday night.
Question from Sarah Q. Detroit, MI: “I’ve been single for a while and I don’t know where to meet guys or how to put myself out there without going to a bar and waiting for someone to talk to me! How can I meet guys?”
Meeting guys when you just don’t know where to start!
Couple missing each other. Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd / Bigstock.com
By Tori Autumn
At some point, many people have to say, “We need to talk,” to their partner, a phrase that could affect the relationship moving forward. Some examples of sensitive topics include moving in, talking about marriage, having children, being committed, financial responsibilities, arguments with family members, unresolved conflict, or the decision to separate.
How to make that tough talk with your partner easier!
Question from Claudia F., Manchester, NH: “My partner and I have been together for five years. We’ve fallen into a routine and I don’t know how to liven up love life – inside and outside the bedroom. Any suggestions?”
Bring life back to your relationship — in and outside the bedroom!
Once upon a time, there was a very clear, natural progression of how a couple moved from one phase of their relationship to another: they dated, became engaged, got married, and, finally, moved in together. Any other choice, years ago, would have been frowned upon and maybe even whispered about. Of course, that has all changed and now we see and generally accept any choice people make, in the order in which they make it, and the way in which they commit to each other – as long as both members of the couple are on board.
Relationship Expert Advice: Have a Relationship Your Way
Over the course of a year and a half, the previous relationship I was in affected me mentally and emotionally. It kept me in a lot of stress, anxiety, and embarrassment. I felt like I became a different person to my friends, family, and even co-workers; however, if I hadn’t gotten in that drama-filled relationship, I wouldn’t have appreciated the current relationship I’m in.
Expert Dating Advice on How to Use a Bad Relationship for Personal and Romantic Growth
Question from Mia B: Talking about exes with a new partner is important. How do you know when it’s the right time to bring up your past and how much information should you share?
Dating Advice: What You Should Tell Your New Partner About Your Ex
While everyone talks about Champagne being sexy, the seduction of tequila is starting to be known. It’s been said that women who drink tequila make fabulous lovers. Being a tequila drinker, I won’t confirm or deny these claims. You will have to do your own field research to see it if it’s true.
Question from Samantha W: I’m new to the digital dating world and my friends keep recommending Tinder, but this app has the reputation for hook-ups. How can I find something more serious and filter out the booty calls?
Serious Online Dating for Beginners
Hi Samantha,
Congratulations on entering the digital dating world. When it comes to dating, technology can be a blessing or a curse. It’s up to you and how you play the online dating game. One key to success is always being yourself, the same person you are online as offline. That means maintaining your values and criteria for potential online dates just as you would when meeting someone in person. If you’re not into booty calls, don’t waste your energy on apps that have a reputation for hook ups.
There is a wide variety of dating websites and apps to choose from. Many are specific about the type of clientele they seek and who they cater to. When getting your feet wet in online dating, it’s easy to dive into the deep end of the pool and find yourself treading water due to the amount of offers you’ll receive. On most sites and apps, new people get lots of attention and it can be quite overwhelming if you are a smart and attractive woman.
Before signing up or downloading an app, do your own research and talk to your friends, both female and male. When you have a clear sense of what the apps and sites are all about, I suggest choosing between one and three apps or websites to sample on a trial basis. That way you’ll see the differences in what each service has to offer without spreading yourself so thin that you’re constantly juggling dates instead of qualifying potential partners and making a real connection. I also strongly recommend looking inside and determining what experience you want to get out of the online dating game before signing up. If your goal is simply dating, you’re in luck. If you want to go deeper, you’ll need to set your personal parameters for qualifying the type of guy you’re looking for and then stick to your plan.
The good way of managing the online dating process is by starting slow and keeping things simple until your get your bearings and a feel for how the online dating game is played. Remember, never lower your standards to match a service or an app that does not represent the real you.
I hope this helps. Good luck!
Robert Manni
If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email lori@cupidspulse.com.
More about the Guy’s Guy:
Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.
His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “Men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.
Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by DatingAdvice.com.
Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.
Coming out of a toxic relationship can be difficult in and of itself, and often requires an emotional detox. Even though the relationship is clearly over, you may find that you still have issues to work through. You might be experiencing not only the sadness and loss, but also pain and anxiety. If you got to this point after a tremendous betrayal or a chronic problem the magnitude of which you were not able to surmount, you probably have many questions and concerns about how you got into that situation in the first place, and how someone you loved could treat you so poorly. Sandra Bullock had a public breakup with her ex-husband Jesse James who admittedly cheated on her multiple times. Despite that, Sandra has finally found love again with a person whom she calls “the one,” Bryan Randall, and the couple reportedly couldn’t be happier. How, then, when you finally do find yourself on the other side and are ready to think about dating again, can you trust another person as well as your own judgement as you, like Sandra, move past the bad and attempt to find the good? How can you make sure you don’t allow yourself to fall into a toxic relationship again?
Dr. Greer’s Relationship Advice Teaches Us How to Date Again After a Toxic Relationship
Frugal date ideas. Photo: Anna Omelchenko / Bigstock.com
By Krystle Kotara
Love is in the air this summer and you have enough days left to embrace the glorious sunshine with a thoughtful and romantic day out. Whether you’re getting intimate on a summer’s evening or exploring the local theme park, there are plenty of activities to get your heart racing. Here’s a guide to five fun summer date ideas for you and your partner:
In this dating advice, relationship expert Krystle Kotara has some great summer date ideas.
Question from Alyssa B: “My relationship has gotten pretty rocky ever since my man’s mental health has started to decline. He’s always upset, but won’t ever talk to me. How can I help him past this?”
Helping a Partner Through Tough Mental Times is Hard
Hi Alyssa:
Thanks for this question. When a guy is “struggling with his mental health,” it casts a wide net of reasons why, especially these days. Every situation is different and I want avoid generalizing. Regardless of the issue, your support is needed and appreciated, even if your man may not seem to be responding to your efforts.
The key here, as with most relationship issues, is being present and keeping the lines of communications open at all times. Men are protective of their feelings and often hold things inside, rather than sharing with their partners. Some guys still think that talking about their problems is a sign weakness. We know this is the furthest thing from the truth, so you have some work to do.
The challenge is getting him to open up and tell you what’s going on. After all, how can you be supportive if you don’t know what’s up with your man? Find a time to get him to talk and do it in a non-threatening way. If he has issues, he probably does not want you to know how much he’s hurting. He may even be embarrassed or ashamed.
I’ve found that the casual, not too serious approach works best with guys. Take him to dinner, a movie, a ball game, a round of golf, a walk, or whatever you think will put him at ease. Afterwards, look him in the eyes, tell him he seems preoccupied, and ask if there is something he wants to talk about. Make sure he knows you are there for him in a non-judgmental way, whatever the issue. See how he responds. At this point, you’ve let him know that you’re aware something’s troubling him. As your partner, it’s up to him to share his feelings and perspective. Go slowly, but don’t let it pass without a response. And be gentle. Things could get worse if he clams up.
Again, every situation is different when it comes to “struggles with a man’s mental health,” so no one size or solution fits all. It could be something benign or he may have done something harmful to himself or the relationship. You’ll never know if you don’t take the time and put in the effort to find out what’s going on.
I hope this helps. Good luck.
Robert Manni
If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email lori@cupidspulse.com.
More about the Guy’s Guy:
Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.
His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “Men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.
Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by DatingAdvice.com.
Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.
Rosé is the ultimate sip and chill with your partner or get together with friends kind of wine. While it’s perfect for any time of year, spring and summer, seem to be the time that people fixate on rosé. That means rosé will be popping up at your local wine store any minute. Which one should you try? Decisions. Decisions.
While most of the attention in February goes to Valentine’s Day and Galentine’s Day, the whole month is known as the month of love. This is where red wine comes in.
It’s been said that when you want to get romantic, red wine is where it’s at. It boosts the libido. The wine contains flavonoids (antioxidants) that increase the blood flow to key areas that get things going in the boudoir. While the tannins and histamines in the wine give your body a bit of warmth which also gets you in the mood for a little fun.
Question from Rachel A, Riverhead, NY: “I have trouble opening up to my significant other. I don’t know why I have trouble telling him how I actually feel! How do I fix that?”
It’s time to open up to your significant other!
This is an interesting question, Rachel, as more women than you’d expect are experiencing this issue. Unfortunately, for both men and women, failure to share their feelings over time often results with the relationship ending. Some women I’ve spoken with are often reticent to instigate a conversation with their man when they have something important to share about their feelings. Often they dance around the subject or hold off on telling their partner exactly how they feel. Over time this can breed resentment in her if she believes her partner does not know how she feels. If not handled\properly, it gets worse and can become a deal breaker.
Sadly, although men need to do a much better job of focusing on their partner’s feelings, they do not mind readers. Guys are fairly simple when it comes to dealing with what’s on their mind in a relationship. If they say nothing, it usually means that in their mind, everything is fine. When they have a problem, they often bring it up with their partner. Guys usually decide their next move based on how the discussion goes and their partner’s response. There is not a lot of subtext in how they communicate. That’s why it is important for women to open up to their guys, make sure they hear them loud and clear and are willing to also share their “feelings”. I use quotes around “feelings” because we know guys often shut down when they think they’re being herded into “the talk”. Yes, more quotation marks.
My advice is to be sincere and use the direct approach. Tell your guy what’s on your mind and in your heart. Find a time to do this when he is relaxed and open-minded. And I don’t mean after sex. Take a walk after dinner, go to the park or the beach, or maybe to an outdoor cafe you both enjoy. Use your intuition to determine when the timing feels right to start the conversation and try to keep it light. I know this sounds like a lot of rules for expressing your feelings, but guys are not great at paying attention to their partners and often need to be informed how she feels in a direct, but loving way.
Not knowing the details of your situation, I suggest that once you’ve gotten him to pay attention and listen, determine in your heart if he is totally present and respectful of your feelings. If not, maybe give him a second chance at another time. Over time though, if you feel like he is not listening and being responsive and it’s too difficult getting on his radar, it might be time to seek bluer skies elsewhere.
Hope this helps, Good luck!
Robert
If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email gillian@nvmediainc.com
More about the Guy’s Guy:
Robert’s podcast has been picked up by KCAA Radio102.3 and 106.5FM, and 1050AM in So Cal on Wednesday evenings at 8pmPT, iHeart Radio, and Spreaker along with iTunes, Blog Talk Radio, Stitcher and Tune In. Guy’s Guy is growing!
Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.
His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.
Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by DatingAdvice.com.
Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.
Tis’ the season for cocktailing like the rich and famous. It’s no secret that celebrities love a good party, but then again who doesn’t? As you entertain or spend quality time at home this season channel your inner celeb with one of the following drinks.
While she may no longer be with us, Elizabeth Taylor is an icon. It’s not a secret that Taylor loved herself a drink. Some of her heavy drinking came due to her rocky yet passionate relationship with Richard Burton. In the Golden Age of Hollywood, drinking was a recreational sport to many. Taylor’s favorite cocktail was the “Black Russian”, she added the Hershey’s syrup for her own special touch. This libation would be great with holidays cookies, watching classic Christmas movies and wearing matching pajamas with your partner.
Heat the chocolate syrup until it gets warm (make sure not to burn it). Add the ingredients to a mixing glass or shaker and stir until well combined. Fill the glass with ice and stir until chilled. Stain into a rocks glass over fresh ice.
For years I’d heard about a cocktail called the “Pornstar Martini”. It’s a popular drink in places such as London, though most bartenders around the globe know how to make one. I had the pleasure of meeting the inventor of the cocktail, Douglas Ankrah, at an event in NYC. Since I know the drink is popular in the hottest bars in London, I asked him what famous people had been spotted sipping his cocktail. Let’s just say that the Duchess of Cambridge (who we all know as Kate Middleton) use to enjoy this martini when out with her friends.
This drink is obviously a good choice for a party because it would get the guests talking. It’s Also the perfect libation to serve when you are snuggling in with your boo. It’s a little naughty yet nice. Suggestive cocktails have a way of making couples creative. Besides that, it’s a good drink of Netflix and chill.
Pornstar Martini
2 oz. vanilla vodka
1 oz passion fruit puree
½ oz vanilla syrup
½ oz lime juice
Side shot of Champagne ( or go with Crémant)
Combine vodka, passion fruit, vanilla syrup and lime juice in a shaker filled with ice. Shake it up then strain into a coup. Serve with a shot of Champagne or Crémant.
In the past few years, Oprah has been showing us her fun side. Lady O mentioned that she makes a mean margarita, but her favorite drink is a Pomegranate Rosé Martini. When you are living a luxurious life like Oprah, the sparkling wine for this libation has to be champagne, of course. Can’t you totally see Oprah and Gayle kicking back with a few of these over the holidays in one of her stunning homes. This cocktail is great for catching up with your girl squad.
Pomegranate Rosé Martini
2 oz vodka
3 oz. fresh pomegranate juice
½ tsp fresh lemon juice
2 oz rosé Champagne
Fill the shaker with ice, vodka, pomegranate juice, and lemon juice. Strain into a martini glass and top off with the sparkling rosé. Garnish with dried star anise.
For more Love & Libations date night ideas and celebrity couple predictions from Yolanda Shoshana, click here.
Most of us typically view work as a place to acquire skills, earn an income, and build a social circle. But for some, work can also be a place to find their happily ever after.
Take Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton, for example. They met while judging for The Voice in 2014. What began as a simple friendship soon sprouted into something more. Now, Stefani and Shelton have been dating for three years and are still going strong.
According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, in 2016, over 80 percent of divorce attorneys reported a large increase of evidence collected from social media in the past five years.
No matter how much you are itching to fire off a tweet or update your Facebook status with details about your soon-to-be ex, I strongly advise against engaging in social media during the divorce process. Social media is simply a world that can make your divorce much more difficult.
Question from Gillian L., Manhattan, “Hey Guy’s Guy, whats the best way of turning an online connection into a real date?
You have a match on your favorite dating app and the conversations online are taking off. You’re up for hours talking to your match but you’re nervous about meeting in person. How can you be sure to impress on a first date when you’ve already gotten to know each other? How do you make a successful transition from online to in person dating? Read dating advice from our relationship expert Robert Manni!
We all know how great dogs are; no one can quite match your dog’s unique brand of love. While your fuzzy fur baby will always be the love of your life, did you know that your dog can also make your human relationships better?
According to my research, having a dog is good for you. Not only does having one in your life lower your stress levels and blood pressure, but your furry family member also boosts your immune system and brings added joy to your personal relationships. Here are four reasons being a dog person makes you a better people person.
The end of the summer may be closing in, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still take advantage of the few weeks we have left. This is an optimal time to plan some date nights that will be remembered long down the road. Summer time is when I met the love of my life online, who I am proud to say is now my beautiful wife. Read the below dating advice from relationship expert Joshua Pompey to help spark that summer love.
Dating Advice to Help You Hold Onto Your Summer Crush!
