Question from Emma B., “Hi Robert. I took my partner home for the holidays and things didn’t go well. My parents and partner did not get along well and I was stuck in the middle. Do you have any suggestions of how to handle the aftermath and to keep the peace between all the people I care about? Thanks!
Post-holiday tension, how do I keep the peace?
Hi Emma,
This is a great question about situations that often occur, but are rarely acknowledged as potential relationship deal-breakers. And unfortunately, there are no definitive answers when problems arise, because no two families or situations of this nature are alike. Every family has quirks we have to deal with, but for a relationship to flourish, it’s critical that there are positive dynamics between our partners and parents. After all, when in a serious relationship, we’re usually in contact with family on a regular basis.
I’ve never had an issue with my partner’s parents, but I did have a few relationships end due to underlying tensions between me and members of my partner’s family. In one case, they drank and got high too often, even for my taste. On top of that, when they drank they had a tendency to become verbally abusive. Another time, my partner’s brother pulled me aside at family gathering to threaten me if I did anything wrong to his sister. Unfortunately, at the time my partners became defensive and less than empathetic with me. Over time, both relationships ended. Looking back, I’m glad they did.
Without knowing the specifics of your situation, if your partner is not connecting with your folks, regardless of the reason why, you’re caught in the middle which puts a strain on you and your relationships with both your partner and parents. You need to find out what happened. It could be bad chemistry, polarizing political views, cultural differences or your parents’ perspective about the relationship. Get your partner’s take and also broach the subject with your parents if they have not already talked about it with you. The issue could be the result of an innocent comment, or it could be something more deep-seated.
Whatever the case may be, if you value your relationship, get to the bottom of things right away so any negative feelings don’t have time to fester. If you do everything in your power to broker peace and things ultimately don’t work out between your partner and parents, you’ll have a choice to make. At least you’ll know you did your best to find a way for things to work out between them.
If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email gillian@nvmediainc.com
More about the Guy’s Guy:
Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.
His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.
Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by DatingAdvice.com.
Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.
Question from Julie S. asks: “I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year, and this is our first holiday season together. After reading an article about the Turkey Drop, I’m curious if you think it’s real and if there are some signs that my boyfriend might do the same to me? Thanks!”
Were you Turkey Dropped this Thanksgiving?
Hi Julie:
Regardless of the season, if your boyfriend is about to drop you, it will be more than obvious. Here are some obvious signs, though. He might seem more distant, he is not paying as much attention to you, and his eyes may be wandering. Maybe he does not respond to your texts as quickly and has become less available during the week due to after-hours “meetings” and drinks with coworkers and his buddies. Or so he says… These are universal signs that he may be moving on, regardless of the time of the year. And, that’s the real issue.
If you are in a tenuous or strained relationship, by the time November rolls around, all the holiday pressure and fanfare heading into the season make it a conveniently self-serving time to cut things off. Of course, no one likes being dropped, but in a way, escaping an unfulfilling relationship before the holidays can provide needed time to reset so you get a jumpstart on the new year which is only a month away.
Although it can be uncomfortable answering the same questions on Thanksgiving and other holiday get-togethers about why your guy isn’t with you, if things are not working it’s better to get this out of the way and enjoy the holidays on your terms. After all, during these hectic days, everyone is focused on their own affairs, not your relationship status. Plus, when you are newly single, holiday parties are opportunities to get back in circulation and make new connections while taking your mind off your ex.
Let’s face it. No one likes getting dumped, especially at this time of year. However, if you’re a glass-half-full person, being “turkey dropped” allows you to enjoy the company of your squad and loved ones without worrying about your now ex-boyfriend’s intentions. After all, who wants to stay in an unsettling relationship simply because it’s the holidays? Sometimes sudden endings are gifts in disguise.
Love yourself and make your happiness top priority, regardless of the time of year. When you’re in the right relationship you won’t be concerned about looking for signs that he’s going to dump you. You’ll be too busy having a great time and feeling good about your relationship.
Hope this helps, Happy Thanksgiving, and drop that turkey if he’s not treating you well!
Your Guy’s Guy
Happy holidays and good luck!
If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email gillian@nvmediainc.com
More about the Guy’s Guy:
Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.
His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.
Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by DatingAdvice.com.
Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.
Question from Samantha W: I’m new to the digital dating world and my friends keep recommending Tinder, but this app has the reputation for hook-ups. How can I find something more serious and filter out the booty calls?
Serious Online Dating for Beginners
Hi Samantha,
Congratulations on entering the digital dating world. When it comes to dating, technology can be a blessing or a curse. It’s up to you and how you play the online dating game. One key to success is always being yourself, the same person you are online as offline. That means maintaining your values and criteria for potential online dates just as you would when meeting someone in person. If you’re not into booty calls, don’t waste your energy on apps that have a reputation for hook ups.
There is a wide variety of dating websites and apps to choose from. Many are specific about the type of clientele they seek and who they cater to. When getting your feet wet in online dating, it’s easy to dive into the deep end of the pool and find yourself treading water due to the amount of offers you’ll receive. On most sites and apps, new people get lots of attention and it can be quite overwhelming if you are a smart and attractive woman.
Before signing up or downloading an app, do your own research and talk to your friends, both female and male. When you have a clear sense of what the apps and sites are all about, I suggest choosing between one and three apps or websites to sample on a trial basis. That way you’ll see the differences in what each service has to offer without spreading yourself so thin that you’re constantly juggling dates instead of qualifying potential partners and making a real connection. I also strongly recommend looking inside and determining what experience you want to get out of the online dating game before signing up. If your goal is simply dating, you’re in luck. If you want to go deeper, you’ll need to set your personal parameters for qualifying the type of guy you’re looking for and then stick to your plan.
The good way of managing the online dating process is by starting slow and keeping things simple until your get your bearings and a feel for how the online dating game is played. Remember, never lower your standards to match a service or an app that does not represent the real you.
I hope this helps. Good luck!
Robert Manni
If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email lori@cupidspulse.com.
More about the Guy’s Guy:
Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.
His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “Men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.
Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by DatingAdvice.com.
Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.
Question from Alyssa B: “My relationship has gotten pretty rocky ever since my man’s mental health has started to decline. He’s always upset, but won’t ever talk to me. How can I help him past this?”
Helping a Partner Through Tough Mental Times is Hard
Hi Alyssa:
Thanks for this question. When a guy is “struggling with his mental health,” it casts a wide net of reasons why, especially these days. Every situation is different and I want avoid generalizing. Regardless of the issue, your support is needed and appreciated, even if your man may not seem to be responding to your efforts.
The key here, as with most relationship issues, is being present and keeping the lines of communications open at all times. Men are protective of their feelings and often hold things inside, rather than sharing with their partners. Some guys still think that talking about their problems is a sign weakness. We know this is the furthest thing from the truth, so you have some work to do.
The challenge is getting him to open up and tell you what’s going on. After all, how can you be supportive if you don’t know what’s up with your man? Find a time to get him to talk and do it in a non-threatening way. If he has issues, he probably does not want you to know how much he’s hurting. He may even be embarrassed or ashamed.
I’ve found that the casual, not too serious approach works best with guys. Take him to dinner, a movie, a ball game, a round of golf, a walk, or whatever you think will put him at ease. Afterwards, look him in the eyes, tell him he seems preoccupied, and ask if there is something he wants to talk about. Make sure he knows you are there for him in a non-judgmental way, whatever the issue. See how he responds. At this point, you’ve let him know that you’re aware something’s troubling him. As your partner, it’s up to him to share his feelings and perspective. Go slowly, but don’t let it pass without a response. And be gentle. Things could get worse if he clams up.
Again, every situation is different when it comes to “struggles with a man’s mental health,” so no one size or solution fits all. It could be something benign or he may have done something harmful to himself or the relationship. You’ll never know if you don’t take the time and put in the effort to find out what’s going on.
I hope this helps. Good luck.
Robert Manni
If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email lori@cupidspulse.com.
More about the Guy’s Guy:
Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.
His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “Men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.
Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by DatingAdvice.com.
Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.
Winter sure seems like it lasts forever sometimes.Especially here in New York.But that doesn’t mean you have to put your dating life into hibernation.Before you let that polar vortex get the best of you, let’s take a look at five dating ideas that will spark some heat back into those long winter months.
According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, in 2016, over 80 percent of divorce attorneys reported a large increase of evidence collected from social media in the past five years.
No matter how much you are itching to fire off a tweet or update your Facebook status with details about your soon-to-be ex, I strongly advise against engaging in social media during the divorce process. Social media is simply a world that can make your divorce much more difficult.
Question from Anna B (Binghamton, New York): I recently found my significant other (who I met on online) using an online dating website when I was on it. What should I do next?
Caught partner on online dating site, what should I do next?
October brings on the spooky vibes. This month’s column is going to focus on cocktails inspired by a couple of villains and a badass woman who are icons, especially during the Halloween time. The cocktails include a celebrity brand to as well as a simple alternative spirit. Their libations will get you to have a scary good time.
It’s no secret that Kathie Lee Gifford loves wine. She and her co-star Hoda always have a fun libation in front of them during the show. The name of the wines come from her last name and belief that friendship, love, and laugher are gifts that should be cherished. Recently Gifford has said that she is willing to make room in her heart for someone new. At this point, it would take someone pretty special to wine to sweep her off her feet. Her busy social life and show keep her content.
What’s great about Gifft Wines is how affordable they are. It makes them the perfect option to channel your inner Kathie Lee and entertain friends and family.
One could say that Kyle McLaughlin is aging like his fine wines. When not acting McLaughlin can be found focusing on making small batch wines in Walla Walla, Washington. It’s his home state and he said that he was obsessed with wines from the region. The unusual name for his line of wines comes from a reference from Shakespeare. If you’ve never had wines from the state you are in for a treat. Washington is known for producing amazing Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Riesling and Syrah.
This is a special wine that should come out for a special occasion like an anniversary or romantic dinner. Make sure you have this one at home or a hotel so that you are close to the boudoir, it will give you the feels.
If you won’t know the actor, Sam Neill by name, you would definitely know him if you saw him. He recently was seen in the frisky movie, Gerald’s Game. Let’s just say handcuffs were involved. While he has had a very successful career as an actor, he found that he had a passion for wine. Neill has been in the wine game since 1993. Unlike most celebrities who have a wine business in Napa or Sonoma, his winery is in New Zealand. He owns four organic vineyard spread around Otago, a beautiful region known for its luscious mountains.
This big juicy Pinot Noir is bold and full of body. It will be a delight on the palate of any red wine lover. With this wine you could opt for a nice quiet dinner of lamb or steak or have it when you have your closest friends over. It’s not a wine for so called friend, but perfect for your squad.
Legend teamed up with the very classy Raymond Vineyards to produce his award winning wine. The goal of the wine is to bring together classic elegance, rich complexity and modern soul.
It has notes of chocolate, blackberries, and oak. Let’s just say that it’s seduction in a bottle.
This is a wine that is all about spending quality time with your partner. You might even want to whip up a recipe from Chrissy Teigen’s new book, Cravings: Hungry For More, and pair with the wine. It would be like taking love tips for Chrissy and John.
For more Love & Libations date ideas and celebrity couple predictions from Yolanda Shoshana, click here.
Everyday it seems like another celebrity is announcing a new wine or spirit. It’s hard to keep up, especially when some of them are being quiet about it. There are some famous folks who just put their name on some booze so they can make money. However there are some celebs who do it for love. Below is a list of libations that the stars are putting their heart into.
It seems Hollywood celebrities are famous not only for their creative work, but also for their personal lives. Everybody has a story about their road to success, but amid the sparkle of superstardom and robust social media platforms, there are a handful of celebrities like Emily Blunt, Jim Carrey, J.K. Rowling, and Shania Twain, who persevered despite personal obstacles and adopted a profoundly positive attitude.
Now, studies show that not only is a positive attitude good for your career and relationship, but it is also good for your health. Here are four reasons from relationship expert Dr. Amy Osmond Cook why looking at the bright side of life is good for you. This expert relationship advice will help you build a happier life for you and your partner!
Expert Relationship Advice to Cultivate Positivity
Nearly 25 percent of Americans have not read a book in the last year, and adults over age 50 were more likely than their younger counterparts to let their books collect dust. While you may think you don’t have the time to read a good book, you might want make reading a higher priority in your life.
Reading isn’t just a fun way to pass the time. It can also improve your health. Read on to learn four ways reading can improve your physical and mental health.
Are you stuck in an exclusive relationship but not really ready for a monogamous one on one? While we all yearn for that special someone to be just ours, jumping into exclusivity too soon can be damaging, especially to women. Read the expert relationship advice below to help you make healthier dating decisions.
Expert Relationship Advice to Help You Stand Up for Your Best Interests in a Relationship!
If you hope to build healthy relationships with other people, the best expert relationship advice is to start on your relationship with your body.
Body shaming is a real issue. Selena Gomez responded to it and so did Tyra Banks. Even celebrity Emma Stone wasn’t immune from an encounter. The repercussions of this are a soaring number of cases of eating disorders and depression. For instance, the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reports that at least 30 million people of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder in the US.
Social and political forums are scrambling to find ways to eliminate body shaming activities. One of the best defenses you can build against forming a negative self-image is to concentrate on building a healthy relationship with your body. “I am not a woman whose self-worth comes from her dress size,” says Kristen Bell when confronted with negative comments about her physical appearance. “Comparison is one long, agonizing death and does not interest me at all.”
Working on your relationship with your body will help you build healthy relationships with others. Here are four tips from relationship expert Dr. Amy Osmond Cook.
Ghosted? Congratulations! While it may hurt to be left alone without any explanation, this expert relationship advice will help you see how ghosting can be a positive thing for your dating life.
Reference the expert relationship advice below when you’re feeling the dating blues!
When the smell of spring is in the air, it can only mean one thing. No, not the spring sale at Neiman Marcus. Instead, for many of us, the end of winter ignites a passion for cleaning. But along with hauling old furniture and clothing to the curb, let’s take a look at our emotional well-being and the relationship we have with others.
So, in the spirit of renewal, here are four areas where we can benefit from some mental and emotional spring cleaning. Don’t miss the expert relationship advice below!
Would it surprise you to know that all the times your wife asked you to put the dishes away or your husband asking you to hear him out before interrupting can actually make a difference in your professional life? Business and marriage can teach you a lot about yourself and about your work ethic. Following great marriage advice about communication and loyalty can teach you practical lessons in business. In fact, a five-year study from Washington University in St. Louis shows that your spouse’s personality can have a direct influence on your career success. Your marriage teaches you to be selfless, to take responsibility, and to roll with the figurative punches. All of these qualities are great for a thriving business and a happy, healthy marriage.
Marriage and the life of an entrepreneur have much in common. Here is some marriage advice along with the six lessons I learned about business after getting married:
Couple kissing during a picnic. Photo: rbvrbv / Bigstock.com
By Lori Zaslow and Jenn Zucher for Project Soulmate // Contributing Writer: Lauren Serrato
Planning the perfect birthday can be tough, especially when in a relationship. The date you plan can make or break your significant other’s big day, so choose wisely! When planning, you should consider what would be fun and memorable for both of you. Whether you are thinking sentimental, sexy, or spontaneous, the birthday date idea should always have a touch of you in it. Add in something special that makes it clear that you put a lot of thought into the date, like your significant other’s favorite food or something only you two would understand. Follow the relationship advice below, and you will definitely make your partner’s birthday one to never forget!
Five Birthday Date Ideas for Your Significant Other
A couple on their first date. Photo: luckybusiness / Bigstock.com
Most relationships start off in a flurry of excitement and anticipation, as they are new to both parties. However, over time it is easy for the magic park to disappear from your love life. Even though you may still love one another, the tribulations of day to day life such as work and family can take their toll. This can result in a relationship that becomes stale and even tedious.
It is important for any loving couple to find ways to inject the magic back into their relationship. There are different ways in which you can do this and this includes looking at advice from experts online about relationships, which can prove really helpful.
What can you do to restore the magic? Check out this expert relationship advice:
The first few weeks of dating can be so exciting: the laughter, the new experiences, and, of course, the physical connection. But how exactly do you know if the chemistry you’re feeling should be attributed to blooming love versus something that is merely an intense physical attraction? If you are attempting to determine whether it’s lust or love, try asking yourself the following questions: …Want to know more? Click here to continue!
Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston. Photo: Izumi Hasegawa / PRPhotos.com
By Dr. Jane Greer
People in distance relationships, whether by choice or necessity, are able to have success with a great deal of effort and flexibility. In order to make the relationship work, there must be s a strong desire to be together, and a willingness between both partners to make room for each other’s respective needs. However, love does not conquer all, regardless if you are a celebrity or not.
For many of us, a lost opportunity at love or the end of a long-term relationship can sometimes make us feel like a second chance just isn’t in the cards. And when Valentine’s Day is focused on romantic dinners for two or coupled walks on the beach, it can be a painful reminder of what we lack.
Let’s face it. There’s no substitute for young love, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy being loved again later in life, especially for seniors. “Fortunately, in some ways, there has never been a better time for women over 60 to be in the dating world,” says Margaret Manning. “The rise of divorce among ‘silver splitters’ means there are more single older men — and there might be more great guys out there than you might expect at first glance, especially if you give them a chance.”
In order to feel confident in a long-term relationship, you need to be in the right long-term relationship for you. If you’re not safe and you don’t feel like you’re being heard, then you’re in the wrong partnership. There’s no way in the world you will ever thrive in a relationship where you feel judged and evaluated at all times. For me — and I’ve been in many long-term relationships — the ones that I always felt most confident in were the relationships where I was actually seen for who I am. If a woman is trying to change you, if she’s trying to make you into someone you’re not, you’re never going to feel confident.
Long-Term Relationship Advice from Relationship Expert David Wygant
On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to love and dating coach Jaki Sabourin about two things that make a man fall in love and commit to a relationship. Watch the video above for their best expert relationship advice!
Expert Relationship Advice to Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit
