Cupid's Pulse Article: Ask the Guys Guy: How Do I Liven My Love Life Inside and Outside the Bedroom?Cupid's Pulse Article: Ask the Guys Guy: How Do I Liven My Love Life Inside and Outside the Bedroom?

By Robert Manni

Question from Claudia F., Manchester, NH: “My partner and I have been together for five years. We’ve fallen into a routine and I don’t know how to liven up love life – inside and outside the bedroom. Any suggestions?”

Bring life back to your relationship — in and outside the bedroom!

Hi Claudia:

In a relationship, a lot can change in five years. Modern life is very stressful, so it’s easy to fall into routines after working hard all day; however, people evolve differently which can create issues. When one partner changes and is moving in another direction, their other half may be complacent. Your question is geared to livening up your love life, in and out of the bedroom, which sounds tactical, but underneath the symptoms of boredom, there is always a cause.

Related Link: Ask the Guy’s Guy: What To Do If I Have Trouble Opening Up To My Significant Other?

If you want to quickly spice up your love/sex life, consider dialing up whatever floats your partner’s boat to the point where he can’t get enough of you. If he goes nuts when you wear your black lingerie and heels, consider leather and thigh-high boots just for kicks. If he likes to relinquish control, handcuff him to the bedposts. Guys are simple when it comes to sparking things up in the bedroom. Give him more of what he craves and he’ll pay attention. But ask yourself if that solves the bigger issues surfacing out of the bedroom.

Related Link: Ask the Guy’s Guy: Should I Stick Around to Feel the Spark Again? 

And what about you? Ask yourself what is making your love life feel predictable. Think of things you’d like to do to shake things up and make you feel alive. Consider taking a vacation together to an exotic destination or doing different things that come with a little risk, like deep water diving, traveling off the grid, or renting an airstream and driving west. Sometimes planning a trip together is all it takes in the short term. Often the symptoms of relationships feeling humdrum are because partners are moving in different directions and the relationship may have run its course. If you value your relationship and want to keep it going strong, take the initiative to think things through and take the necessary steps that will rekindle the passion for both of you.

Remember, you can’t start a fire without a spark.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Robert Manni

If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email

More about the Guy’s Guy:
Cupid's Pulse Article: Ask the Guys Guy: How Do I Liven My Love Life Inside and Outside the Bedroom?

Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.

His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.

Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by

Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.

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