Relationship Expert Tag Archive: Melanie Mar
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By Melanie Mar
Relationships and love have progressively changed over recent decades, thanks in large part to women’s rights. Today, there are more independent working women than ever before, and with that comes significant changes within the dynamics of romantic partnerships.
…Don’t miss the rest! Click here for more expert dating advice from Melanie.
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By Melanie Mar
Valentine’s Day: the red heart holiday. It’s guaranteed to keep restaurants busy and flower stores in business. Whether you’re single, newly dating, or married, this heartfelt day can be a bit tricky to navigate. Depending on your expectations in the romance department, Valentine’s Day can be an incredible hit or a massive miss. So how do you make sure you and your partner feel special on a day dedicated to love? Read my expert dating advice below!
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By Melanie Mar
This winter, some lucky couples will be cuddling up next to fireplaces, warming up with hot chocolate and marshmallows, and, depending on their location, riding in horse-drawn carriages and hitting the slopes together…all in the name of love. The holidays often bring out a softer, more romantic side as established pairs get nostalgic and newbies want to create magical memories. What better way to beat the winter blues and heat up your relationship than getting away for a fabulous rendezvous with your mate?
…Don’t miss the rest! Click here to find out Melanie’s top 10 most romantic holiday getaway spots.
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By Melanie Mar
These days, looking for love is more accessible than ever. To fit it into life’s busy schedules, there are a vast number of websites and events available to attend, but often, one can start to see dating as a daunting task. To assist you in finding the joy of dating, I’ve listed some tips below on how to enjoy the process. It’s time to date smarter!
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By Melanie Mar
You all have experiences in life that are so private that you choose to only reveal them to a small group of close confidents. But when you start a new relationship, one of the dilemmas you’ll face is: When is the right time to share your personal secrets with a new love? Sharing your private life can be somewhat anxiety-inducing, whether it regards a previous relationship, a health issue, or a family problem. It takes a lot of guts to share your secrets with your partner with the hope that they are trustworthy enough to embrace what you’re telling them with an open heart and no judgement. Below are four things to consider before disclosing yourself:
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By Melanie Mar
When is the right time for the first time in a new relationship? Yes, I’m talking about sex. There is no right answer to this question. Ask numerous people, and they will each tell you a different story: “We had sex the first night we met. It was meant to be a casual encounter, but we’re still going strong nine years later,” or “We waited five months to have sex and then broke up two months later.”
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So there’s little wonder that many of you are confused on this topic! Below, I’ve outlined three points to consider when deciding to have sex for the first time in a new relationship:
1. Never assume: Unless you’ve had a conversation with your new partner about exclusivity, then you can’t presume that having sex will automatically make you a couple in a monogamous relationship. This is not true in most cases, and it can be very hurtful when you discover after the fact that you’re not on the same page in regards to what you want and expect in the relationship.
2. Premature sex: Having sex early on isn’t usually a good idea if you are seeking a long-term relationship. You are most often best served by investing time and energy getting to know the person before becoming sexually intimate. This enables you to discover if your new partner has good intentions and high integrity and is capable of making and keeping their commitments. These things are impossible to know on the first few dates but are crucial if you want a future together.
3. Oxytocin bonding: Oxytocin is biochemical that is released during sex that creates a feeling of attachment. Unfortunately, you may experience it with someone you’re not at all compatible with, but this bonding effect can override your logical sense of judgment and keep you in a relationship with a person who is completely wrong for you — another reason to not have premature sex!
Related Link: 10 Signs That You’re in Love
There are no hard or fast rules, and there will always be exceptions. By having an understanding of the basic principles above and being smarter in your choices, you can protect yourself from potential heartbreak. High sexual chemistry is difficult to contain, and it’s very easy to get carried away with intense sexual desire, so don’t put yourself in situations that make it harder to refrain. Keep your dating to public places, and let your hearts and minds be aroused before your body. Talk about intimate things and allow the relationship to turn you on mentally; the better connection you have out of the bedroom, the better connection you’ll have in it. Enjoy!
Melanie Mar is a celebrity relationship specialist, matchmaker and life coach.
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By Melanie Mar
When CupidsPulse.com asked me to write an article on this topic, I stopped for a minute to reflect upon two emails I received this week, both requesting my help: one from a man who was struggling terribly to let go of his ex-girlfriend and move on, and the other from a lady with the subject “heartbroken.” The end of a relationship can be extremely difficult, and I never underestimate the pain of a breakup. In severe cases, it is truly debilitating, causing mental anguish and physical turmoil, affecting your health, and leading to weight loss and other associated illnesses.
Of course, the degree of distress is dependent on how a relationship ends. For example, if both of you have come to the conclusion that the relationship has “run its course” and each have apathy for the other, then the most likely feeling you’ll have is melancholy. You’ll wish each other well and mean it. In these cases, I recommend doing things that bring you joy to counteract the blues: dance, sing, surround yourself with friends, whatever makes you happy.
There’s also the “chipping away” of a relationship from bickering, lack of sex, lack of respect, etc. If these things have ultimately led to the end of your relationship, then relief is usually the first emotion felt. During this stage, I suggest doing things to rediscover yourself, like taking up a hobby or interest, pampering yourself, or taking some much needed “me” time.
Related Link: Could You Be Friends With An Ex?
If your relationship ends because of betrayal or immoral or unethical behavior, you will experience deep agony. The ending is usually swift and extremely hard to comprehend. Understanding the process (and yes, it is a process) will make it easier for you. Know that what you are going through is not uncommon and that having the rights tools in your tool belt will assist you as you handle your loss.
Here are some other feelings you may experience during a hurtful split:
Pain can be both emotional and physical. I always tell my clients that “pain indicates change is needed or change is in progress.” Do not push away the pain; instead, feelit. If you deny the feeling, you’re only prolonging the inevitable. People ruminate when they are in emotional distress, which is perfectly fine for a short time. However, if extended, it can cause sickness.
Within weeks, you have to move on from the feel-think, feel-think, feel-think merry-go-round and do something positive to make it better. Remember that the way out of any negative thought is to follow it with a positive action.
Anger is a very frequently expressed emotion. As a certified transactional analysis, I use “child” and “adult” as forms of communication styles. With that in mind, there are four types of anger:
1. Frustration is created from a deep dissatisfaction from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs.
2. Resentment is a bitter feeling of persistent ill will.
3. Denial is a defense mechanism in which confrontation with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem.
The three angers above are all child angers and are not healthy in the aid of moving on and letting go.
4. Indignant is adult anger in its simplest form, and it merely means you are logically angry about the situation. It’s perfectly healthy to display your anger if done with facts and reasoning and not for an extensive amount of time.
Sadness comes after the pain has eased and the anger has subsided. It is, of course, sad to acknowledge that someone you loved deeply betrayed your relationship and that the future plans you had together will not happen. You miss that person and the special moments you shared. It’s okay to mourn; in fact, it’s normal, and it would be highly unusual if you didn’t.
Just make sure that this phase doesn’t continue for an extended period. Remember to keep reminding yourself the reason why your relationship ended.
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Acceptance is the last stage. There will be a day when you wake up and realize that it’s over and that you survived. It didn’t kill you, but it did make you stronger. When looking back at the relationship, you understand completely that it wasn’t what you initially thought and that your ex was less than you deserve. It’s the relationships that don’t last forever that teach us the lessons that will.
You now have what I call a “clear head, clear heart” — both of which are necessary to start dating again. So get out there and enjoy the excitement of meeting someone new. You never know what it might lead to!
Melanie Mar is a celebrity relationship specialist, matchmaker and life coach.
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By Melanie Mar
Butterflies in your stomach, questions running through your mind, and nervous energy are all natural reactions before heading out on any first date. The first date is an icebreaker, not a marriage interview, so sit back and enjoy! The beauty of a first date is that, if it goes poorly, you will most likely get over it quickly. Remind yourself that your best self is relaxed and confident. Follow the tips below to reduce your first date anxiety and set yourself up for fun.
3 This post is sponsored by Melanie Mar.
By Brittany Stubbs
If you’re anything like the staff at CupidsPulse.com, you love all things love. And, to help you express your feelings in a fun and fashionable way, we’re excited to share the LOVE t-shirt collection by CupidsPulse.com contributing expert Melanie Mar!
You may recognize Mar as a relationship specialist, matchmaker and life coach from reality shows The Millionaire Matchmaker and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Her company, Melanie Mar Love offers an exclusive, boutique matchmaking service, catering to a wide range of professional businessmen, public figures, and celebrities. It’s here that Mar focuses on teaching her clients how to avoid negative and self-destructive thoughts and speech patterns, leaving them empowered to achieve their life goals and eventually find love.
However, it was inevitable that this former runway and photographic model would someday combine her expertise in relationships with her passion for fashion. The LOVE t-shirts feature three unique messages: Tainted Love, Pure Love, and Love Addict. Whether you’re single and looking for your soul mate or happily partnered with the man of your dreams, these chic shirts are the perfect pieces to add to your wardrobe. Made from a beautiful burnout fabric with a luxurious soft cotton feel, they are so comfortable, you can wear them out on the town, to the gym, or even to bed!
Lucky for you, we’ll be giving away one shirt to three lucky CupidsPulse.com readers. Always remember that the LOVE t-shirts were created with love for anyone who loves to love!
GIVEAWAY ALERT: To enter for a chance to win a Melanie Mar LOVE t-shirt, go to our Facebook page and click “like.” Then, send an email to cupid@cupidspulse.com with the Subject “LOVE T-shirt” along with your full name, address, email, and daytime phone number telling us which T-Shirt you want and why. We will pick three lucky winners when the contest is over. Each winner will have three days to claim their prize. The deadline to enter is Monday, February 24th at 5 p.m. ET. Good luck!
Congratulations to Annette Prejean, Ann Marie Rehm, and Jennifer Ross!
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By Melanie Mar
It’s 2014 — a new year to rejoice new beginnings, celebrate new possibilities, and just maybe embrace a new love affair. It’s time to shake off 2013! If you’re single, here are some tips to get you ready to mingle:
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By Melanie Mar
During any long-term relationship, it’s inevitable that you will eventually experience some form of crisis together. Whether it’s a loss of a job leading to financial difficulties, the passing of a loved one causing immense sadness, or some form of addiction that is creating friction, life is challenging, and the stresses that occur can certainly take a toll. During these times, the only choice you have is to pull together or fall apart. So how can you ensure that, while enduring a conflict, your partnership remains resilient and you strengthen your love as a couple? Below are my top recommendations for supporting your partner through a crisis:
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By Melanie Mar
Have you been enjoying a summer of love? This season is often associated with long balmy nights and bright sunny days spent with our significant other, but within a few short weeks, autumn will be upon us. The nights will get cooler and the days, shorter. So, with this thought in mind, make the most of the warm weather with the following end-of-summer date ideas.
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By Melanie Mar
A matchmaker works on behalf of a client to set that person up on dates and ultimately find them a happy and healthy relationship. In today’s society, more and more people are turning to matchmakers as they look for a qualified mate for a long-term, committed relationship that may eventually lead to marriage. Below are ten things that you should know about hiring a matchmaker:
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By Melanie Mar
Are you wondering how you can find love this summer? Here’s a list of things you can do now to get ready for a summer romance.
First, consider your lifestyle. Wintertime is synonymous with wrapping up in layers of clothes and eating hearty meals. While that may be comforting during the dark, cold days, it can also create complacency in your healthy living and add some extra-unwanted weight. But now, spring has sprung, and it’s time to refocus on your well being. So take a look at your eating habits, write in a food journal to help you clearly see where you can make some healthy changes and give yourself an attainable goal. When you look good, you feel good and ooze confidence, which is very attractive. Plus, men are visual; they initially pick who they want to date with their eyes.
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By Melanie Mar
Happy endings happen in all different ways. So, when someone asks me if a relationship has staying potential when it’s constantly on-again, off-again, the answer is “yes.” Contrary to popular belief, on-again, off-again relationships can be the real deal.
All relationships, at some point, go through turbulent and challenging times, which may result in a breakup or even breakups, plural. Even so, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t one day be walking down the aisle together. Case in point: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake. If the reason for the split is not of an immoral, unethical or a very serious nature but instead due to timing, immaturity, financial stresses, etc., and the two of you have a deep, emotional and mental connection, there is a good chance that you will reconnect again physically.
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By Melanie Mar
Lovers cannot be friends until both parties have a new lover. Many factors come into play with regards as to whether you can remain friends with a former loved one.
Did the relationship end on good or bad terms? If the two of you merely grew apart and perhaps the physical intimacy died in the relationship, then you may have already started developing a friendship within the relationship. It is far easier to continue an already-established friendship post-breakup. However, if one of the parties did something immoral or unethical and hurt the other one deeply, the chances are certainly much slimmer. …Don’t miss the rest! Click here for more.
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By Melanie Mar
We’ve all heard of the phrase “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Hopefully it wasn’t being said to you. It’s a hard thing to let someone down, especially a person that cares for you more than you care for them. What does this phrase mean? Moreover, how can you express this sentiment to someone you care for deeply while causing the least amount of pain? We’ll explore some key ideas that can help you break the news as easily as possible:
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By Melanie Mar
Dating is certainly much more challenging than it used to be. For example, in the good old days, boy meets girl and off they run into the sunset together- cue screeching sound as the movie comes to an abrupt halt and fast forward to the 21st century and today.
Why is dating so difficult now? Although there are many reasons, here are just a few examples:
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By Melanie Mar
We are living in a fast paced world. We eat fast, drive fast and as statistics show, we divorce fast. It is so quick and easy to exit when the going gets tough, what can you do to ensure you are giving your all to making your relationship work?
My advice for if you are thinking, talking or planning to get married is to try pre-marital counseling. Most people believe counseling is only required when they actually have relationship issues which need resolving. I say: On your best day, remember, this too shall pass.
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By Melanie Mar
Congratulations, you survived! During the past couple of months you plowed through the relationship equivalent of a marathon. You survived the agony of choosing the perfect gifts for your loved one during the holidays, then rang in the new year with great cheer, good spirit and much love. So, now it’s time to sit back, relax and take it easy on the romance front, right? Wrong!
Before you can even catch your breath, Valentine’s Day is upon us, the most romantic day of the year — so we are told. Contrary to what popular culture wants us to believe, for many people, Valentine’s Day is less fun and flirty and more stressful and sad. Maybe it highlights that another year has passed and you’re still not in a relationship, or recently have suffered a hurtful separation. Perhaps you just simply don’t know what to do to make this day as special and romantic for your partner as societal pressure dictates. Talk about unneeded anxiety!
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By Ashley DelBello
Last Monday night, the world was introduced to Melanie Mar on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH). As we all saw, she was giving life coaching advice to Taylor Armstrong and helping her through her marriage woes to her now late husband, Russell. We published an interview with Melanie the day after the episode aired, where she offered advice for both couples looking to strengthen their relationship and singles searching for Mr. Right. This week, Melanie shares insight with us that answers our burning questions about the Armstrong’s, what it was like to work with Taylor, and what type of counsel she gave to her over the past six months.
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By Ashley DelBello
“I teach women to be ladies and men to be gentlemen,” says model turned relationship coach, Melanie Mar who has worked with Hollywood’s most elite celebrities and couples to help them find love in their life and more importantly, within themselves.
Melanie Mar is the founder of Melanie Mar International and a partner of Patti Stanger’s Millionaire’s Club Matchmaking Agency. You may also recognize her from last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, where she is seen coaching Taylor Armstrong about her marriage to Russell Armstrong. We had the chance to catch up with Mar and get her advice for couples in a relationship, as well as for those who are navigating the single scene. She offered some amazing insight. Ladies take note.
One of the most common dating challenges for single women who live in big cities like LA or NY is that they find it too hard to meet a man. “Women have become much more independent and now they’re competing with men,” says Mar. “There’s a lot of masculinity out there these days and it takes so much courage for today’s man to approach today’s woman. He has no idea what reaction he’ll get,” she explains.
