Cupid's Pulse Article: Stop Bickering Before it Starts with Pre-Marital CounselingCupid's Pulse Article: Stop Bickering Before it Starts with Pre-Marital Counseling

By Melanie Mar

We are living in a fast paced world.  We eat fast, drive fast and as statistics show, we divorce fast.  It is so quick and easy to exit when the going gets tough, what can you do to ensure you are giving your all to making your relationship work?

My advice for if you are thinking, talking or planning to get married is to try pre-marital counseling.  Most people believe counseling is only required when they actually have relationship issues which need resolving.  I say: On your best day, remember, this too shall pass.

I am a fan of the Covenant marriage, which was initially introduced in Louisiana in 1997 in an effort to control divorce rates, it is offered to couples before they get married with the view that it is harder to end the union.  In simple terms, you enter a covenant  by signing and agreeing to certain stipulations in order to save the marriage before filing for divorce.  The first of which is mandatory pre-marital counseling.

Surprisingly, sometimes the best counseling can be achieved when there are seemingly no problems at all.  When you are both calm is when you are most likely to mentally receive the information, tools and suggestions given.  You are not defensive, you like your partner and it is a pleasure to gather ideas of what to do to help each other when problems arise, which they invariably do.  It can be something you both look forward to, it can be a relief to talk about how you are doing and to keep each other in check and it can stop you sharing your private life with friends.  Prevention is better than cure and ultimately, you will be stronger as a couple and united as a team to face life’s hurdles together.

Melanie is a relationship and life coach, as well as co-owner of the Millionaire’s Club International Matchmaking Agency for the U.K. and Europe. She is certified by the WANT Institute in Androgynous Semantic Realignment and a Transaction Analysis practitioner certified by the United States America Transaction Analysis Association.