You’ve done the unthinkable. You’ve cheated. But whether it was a one-night stand or an ongoing affair, something has to be done. You must find the courage to confront yourself, your life and your relationship. The aftermath of cheating is not an easy obstacle to maneuver through, but you are not alone. Reaching deep within can reveal many of the answers to those heart-wrenching questions that are most likely burdening your conscious. Whether you’re a celebrity couple overcoming the adversity of the paparazzi exposing your cheating-capades or an everyday couple trying to find your way, here are a few tips on how to handle your embittered situation:
A man in a relationship has an affair. Photo: conrado / Bigstock.com
By Sarah Foulkes, GalTime.com
It can be a devastating blow to a committed relationship. One partner strays and the other is left picking up the pieces– and left with difficult decisions. If your significant other cheats on you– can he or she change? When is there hope to salvage the relationship… and when is it hopeless?
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Photo: David Gabber / PR Photos
By Marcelina Hardy
How many people look at Demi Moore and think, “Wow, she is so hot!” … and yet Ashton Kutcher couldn’t stop turning his head, body and well, everything else towards other women.
So what is it? Why do men look at other women when they have the lady of their dreams standing right beside them? Don’t worry ladies. It’s much less heart wrenching than you think, but yes, they still need to quit it.
Baby, baby, baby noooo way! Justin Bieber recently became the father of his new puppy, Baylor, with girlfriend, singer and actress Selena Gomez, but he denies all accusations that he fathered the (human) child of Mariah Yeater. The 20-year-old Californian told STAR magazine that she and Bieber, 17, had sex backstage at a show in L.A. She gave birth to her son three months ago, and has filed a paternity lawsuit against the young pop sensation. A rep for Bieber told UsMagazine.com, “While we haven’t yet seen the lawsuit, it’s sad that someone would fabricate, malicious, defamatory AND demonstrably false claims. We will vigorously pursue all available legal remedies to defend and protect Justin against these allegations.”
How do you handle others’ claims that your partner is cheating?
Demi Moore was spotted wearing a celebrity engagement ring. Could walking down the aisle be in her future? Photo: Andrew Evans / PR Photos
So far, both Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have kept quiet about their supposed marital woes, despite being constantly hounded by the tabloids. Although reports have recently surfaced that Kutcher cheated on Moore on their sixth wedding anniversary, the actress was still spotted on the red carpet with her wedding ring firmly in place. E! Online reports that Moore was not hurting for male companionship though, as she was surrounded by men at the NYC premiere of her latest film, Margin Call. Although men including Simon Baker, Paul Bettany, Penn Badgley and Zachary Quinto shared the red carpet with Moore, the actress did choose to attend the premiere without a very obvious date.
What are some ways to keep your marital woes from prying eyes?
Now that his 2010 affair is behind him, Bones star David Boreanaz is speaking out about the power of positive thinking, according to UsMagazine.com. The actor says that after he cheated on his wife Rachel Uchitel, it ended up being a “bonding experience.” He explains, saying, “In a sacred ground like marriage, you find yourself out of it at certain times for reasons unknown that can be destructive. There could be a demon that kind of comes out and overtakes you.” Although his infidelity was no doubt a rocky point in his marriage, he also says, “Do I believe in giving up? No, I don’t. I’m a fighter. I’m a lover.”
How do you overcome cheating in your relationship?
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Photo: Chris Hatcher / PR Photos
First, Ashton Kutcher was accused of cheating on his wife, Demi Moore,and now there are even more rumors flying around. After spending their anniversary apart, RadarOnline reports that the two Twitter lovers no longer follow each on the social networking platform. To make the gossip even juicer, Moore and Kutcher have reportedly been living separately for the last two months. Moore and Kutcher are both keeping silent about the allegations and talks of divorce.
How do you deal with the public backlash when you’re having conflict in your relationship?
A 23-year-old woman, who is accusing Ashton Kutcher of cheating on wife Demi Moore with her last Friday, has hired a top Hollywood attorney. according to RadarOnline. “She is due to meet with an attorney tonight (Tuesday). She is freaking out,” one of her friends said. As a result of the alleged cheating, Star magazine is preparing to hit the newsstands Wednesday September 28 with a sensational report about the couple’s marriage being “officially over.” “Ashton and Demi have separated and the marriage is over,” a source close to the couple told Star. “The relationship ended because of Ashton’s serial cheating. It’s a painful time for Demi.”
What are some signs to look for when you think your mate may be cheating?
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Photo: David Gabber / PR Photos
The rumors are flying that Two and a Half Men‘s latest newcomer Ashton Kutcher has been cheating on his wife of six years, actress Demi Moore. Although the tabloid news has yet to be confirmed, some recent Twitter behavior from each half of the duo is causing some speculation, according to People. The day before their wedding anniversary, Moore chose to share a quote from Greek philosopher Epictetus, which reads, “When we are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself & study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.” While the actress chose someone else’s words to voice her emotions, Kutcher took the opposite approach and decided not to post anything at all on his wedding anniversary. This may actually speak volumes, because the actor is known to be very active in showing his love for his wife via social media.
How do you gracefully deal with infidelity rumors in a relationship?
D.C. Housewives star Michaele Salahi tried to prove that true love never dies. Sadly, it was at the expense of her current ex , Tareq Salahi. Now, Michaele and Journey singer Neal Schon have picked up right where they left off after the rocker invited the reality star couple to his concert in Virginia not long ago. E! Online reports that the pair have had a secret relationship via phone up until their recent reunion, as the two had met nearly 15 years ago originally. The love-struck couple are excited to have finally revealed the nature of their relationship to the media. Schon exclaimed, “I’m very happy, very happy after waiting for her for 15 years.” Salahi admitted to dating both Schon and her ex-husband back in the late 90’s. However, after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, she decided upon a more settled lifestyle with her now ex. The two both remember the night of the concert as a whirlwind of emotions that ended in Michaele going home with her husband out of respect, but then packing up her belongings and heading out not even two weeks later.
How do you prove you’re in love to family and friends?
Woman using smartphone. Photo: khorzhevska / Bigstock.com
By Melissa Tierney
There’s no denying we are a society addicted to technology. While this fact may not necessarily be a bad thing when it comes to your day-to-day life, our technological habits may be making it impossible to form ‘real’ relationships with the targets of our affection. It seems that the days of in-person or over-the-phone conversations are gone, and instead we are left with e-mail, texting, or social networking sites as the normal way of communicating, normally in 140 characters or less. So although technology may make it easier to meet someone, does it really help nurture a relationship?
Elizabeth Kitt seems to be unlucky in love, to say the least. After being dumped by Jake Pavelka on The Bachelor and splitting from ladies’ man Jesse Kovacs after dating him on Bachelor Pad, it looks like Kitt has found another winner. Her current squeeze, Joshua Rowley, has been spotted on Cheaterville.com, where he is listed under the headline, “Cheater is looking for easy girls online”. Rowley denied the accusations of infidelity, telling RadarOnline, “This is hilarious. I was only on-line dating for a week before I met Elizabeth, then I logged off. To whomever the woman is who posted this, thanks, it is a good picture. Elizabeth and I had a good laugh over this!”
What do you do if you keep ending up in dead-end relationships?
Have you ever had that aching suspicion that your partner was cheating on you? You find yourself pacing back and forth worrying where they are, who they’re with and not knowing what to do? Maybe you start beating yourself up even though it’s not your fault. The Cheat Sheet by Rea Frey and Stephany Alexander can help ease your nerves and give you the tools to find out for yourself if your partner really is bunking up with someone else. Stephany Alexander is an infidelity expert and founder of WomanSavers.com, a forum for women to speak to each other about men, abuse and infidelity. The Cheat Sheet will help guide you and give you the advice you need to find out if your man is being unfaithful. We had the opportunity to speak with Stephany to find out more about this common issue. Here’s what she had to say:
What was the inspiration behind WomanSavers.com?
I started WomanSavers.com in 2002, after getting out of a bad relationship. I’ve had a history of abuse throughout my life. I was abused as a child and experienced date rape as a young adult. I even had to file a restraining order against one of my boyfriends who became physically violent with me. I tried online dating and when I signed up for all the matchmaking websites, I experienced a lot of bad dates I thought I knew what I was doing and it was just a numbers game. However, I found that there were a lot of men who were misrepresenting themselves on the Internet. I became very bitter after all of this. Then one day I was walking along the street and an idea just hit me like lightning. The only way women are going to survive in the future is by sharing information with each other. Now, they have an open forum to speak to other women about men.
Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. Photo: Scott Alan / PR Photos; Wild1 / PR Photos
By Tanni Deb
Celebrities might seem like they have it all – a successful career, beautiful looks and a significant other who everyone runs after. Though their lives may appear perfect, don’t be fooled by the glitz and glamour of Hollywood’s shine. We all know that some romances don’t last, and the following pairs are no exception. Here are five celebrities who were bitten by the cheating bug – and then burned by their former flame:
What drives someone to cheat? Director and writer Amber Sealey sets out to explore this question in her independent and somewhat provocative film, How To Cheat, which was shown throughout June at the Los Angeles Film Festival. Typically, when we think of cheating we think of it happening after a night of drinking or unexpectedly, but what happens when a person actually sets out to cheat?
Meet Mark (Kent Osborne), an unhappy husband in his thirties, stuck in a marriage where he and his wife Beth (Amber Sealey) are trying to get pregnant, but are repeatedly unsuccessful. Mark feels like something is missing from his life and that his best years are behind him so he decides to try online dating while still married. Through these quick snippets of dates, we learn that Mark can’t lie about being married. Naturally, the majority of the women he meets have an adverse reaction to it. All, but one, Cue Louise (Amanda Street,) a free spirit with a drinking problem, who is also searching for something to fill a void in her life. She can tell almost immediately that Mark has someone at home, but still continues with the date. As you can probably guess they end up sleeping with each other and a series of atypical events unfold.
Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Maria Shriver. Photo: Lee Roth / RothStock / PR Photos
Looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger still feels guilty over the end of his 25 year marriage to ex Maria Shriver. According to RadarOnline, the ex-governor is prepared to give his ex a hefty settlement in the divorce, much more than is required under California state law. Both Schwarzenegger and Shriver’s lawyers seem to be getting along and are working together to come to a joint settlement. Schwarzenegger said he is the one to blame for the collapse of his marriage, and he is willing to give Shriver whatever she needs. He’s also filing for joint custody of the couple’s sons, which is a decision Shriver agrees with because she still wants her ex to remain a major part of their children’s lives. It’s so sad to see the end of such a seemingly perfect marriage, but at least the pair are putting their differences aside to do what is best for their children and themselves.
As a researcher and psychologist who’s been studying marriage and divorce for more than 25 years, I’m interested in the motivations of men who seem to “have it all” and then throw it all away, facing public humiliation in the aftermath and subjecting their families to the same.
Here are five ways to understand why men like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods and John Edwards risk it all to have an affair:
1. The illusion of invulnerability. Often, powerful men have affairs because they think they won’t get caught. And even if they do, they believe they won’t get in trouble because they have the resources to cover it up. These men often don’t worry about the long-term effects of their actions on others, only the short-term gains for themselves.
Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Maria Shriver. Photo: Lee Roth / RothStock / PR Photos
By Dr. Judy Kuriansky
After 25 years of marriage to Maria Shriver, Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed that he had been hiding a love child from the public. Arnold’s behavior is a serious insult – and the ultimate betrayal – to Maria, especially having this affair in her household and keeping it a secret for so long.
It will take a long time for Maria to rebuild trust in any relationship, and we now have a deeper understanding of her request on the web. Uncertain transitions in life can be traumatic. As stated in a video shared on YouTube, Maria says, “As you know, transitions are not easy. I’d love to get your advice on how you’ve handled transitions in your own life. It’s so stressful to not know what you’re doing next. People ask you what are you doing and then they can’t believe that you don’t know what you’re doing.”
Maria is reaching out to others for advice on how to transition to the next phase of her life. For many women, Maria’s outreach is reassuring. For a public figure to express that her future is unknown is both a positive and comforting example for those experiencing similar turmoil. Maria now has the opportunity to stand for the empowerment of women by respecting herself, having a high self-esteem, trusting her independence and not tolerating bad behavior.
Dr. Judy Kuriansky is a world renowned radio advice host, clinical psychologist, certified sex therapist, popular lecturer, newspaper columnist, author of many books, including The Complete Idiot’s Guide ® to a Healthy Relationship and saw Arnold and Maria’s love bloom firsthand at their engagement party. To help Maria and women everywhere, she has offered three suggestions to handle transitions in life:
Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Maria Shriver. Photo: Lee Roth / RothStock / PR Photos
New details about how Maria Shriver learned of her husband’s infidelity have surfaced. UsMagazine.com reports that Shriver, 55, went out to eat with girlfriends Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King right before the news broke that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with a member of their household staff. Shriver supported her friend Oprah by attending her talk show send-off just days after the scandal went public. “Not only did she come, she came, she showed up, she did the part,” King, 54, said. “[Maria’s] a class act and she’s handling it with such grace, trying to figure out what to do…how to help the children through. It’s just a very difficult time and heartbreaking to see.”
What are some ways to react when you find out your partner has cheated?
Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Maria Shriver. Photo: Lee Roth / RothStock / PR Photos
The shocking breakup of one of the biggest power couples in Hollywood and politics now makes a lot more sense, reports People. The Los Angeles Times broke the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child out of wedlock 10 years ago, resulting in he and wife Maria Shriver separating. In a statement to the newspaper, the 63-year-old actor and ex-governor said, “After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago. I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family.”
What are some ways to tell that your mate is being unfaithful?
Famed serial cheater Jesse James recently defended his bad behavior by pointing out that he’s not the only one, reports UsMagazine.com. The Monster Garage star told Men’s Journal, “I never shied away from anything I did. I took full responsibility. I cheated on my wife. Guess what? So do millions of other men.” The 42-year-old, who divorced Sandra Bullock last year, is currently engaged to Kat Von D.
How do you know if you can trust your partner after past indiscretions?
Brandi Glanville and Elin Nordegren are finally moving on from their bitter breakups. Glanville, 38, divorced actor Eddie Cibrian after UsMagazine.com broke the news that he was having an affair with LeAnn Rimes. Elin Nordegren also knows a thing or two about infidelity. After finding out that her husband, pro golfer Tiger Woods, cheated on her with multiple women, the 31-year-old Swedish supermodel also filed for divorce. Glanville is trying to move on by making an appearance on Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, while Nordegren has been playing the field, most recently dating a banker in Florida.
What are some ways to show you’ve moved on after a bitter divorce?
Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes. Photo: Revolutionpix/FAMEFLYNET
LeAnn Rimes celebrated Easter as a new wife after marrying beau Eddie Cibrian last weekend, according to UsMagazine.com. The 28-year-old actress and singer gushed about her new hubby and his two kids when she tweeted, “Brunch w/my husband on the beach, massages and an impromptu Easter Egg hunt w/ 2 special boys! Perfect day, perfect weekend!” Cibrian, 38, and Rimes met in 2008 on a movie set and famously started dating while married to other people.
Arun Nayar and Elizabeth Hurley. Photo: Solarpix / PR Photos
This past Friday, Elizabeth Hurley filed for divorce from her husband Arun Nayar. According to People, Hurley blames the divorce on husband, Nayar’s “unreasonable behavior.” What seems to be confusing to the public, however, are the photos that surfaced in December of Hurley kissing an Australian cricket star, Shane Warne, outside a restaurant in London. Hurley took the opportunity to explain herself via Twitter, saying, “For the record, my husband Arun and I seperated a few months ago. Our close friends & family were aware of this.”
If you’re separated from a spouse, is it okay to stray? Continue reading →
