Cupid's Pulse Article: Maria Shriver Seeks Advice After Arnold Schwarzenegger AffairCupid's Pulse Article: Maria Shriver Seeks Advice After Arnold Schwarzenegger Affair

By Dr. Judy Kuriansky

After 25 years of marriage to Maria Shriver, Arnold Schwarzenegger revealed that he had been hiding a love child from the public.  Arnold’s behavior is a serious insult – and the ultimate betrayal – to Maria, especially having this affair in her household and keeping it a secret for so long.

It will take a long time for Maria to rebuild trust in any relationship, and we now have a deeper understanding of her request on the web.  Uncertain transitions in life can be traumatic.  As stated in a video shared on YouTube, Maria says, “As you know, transitions are not easy.  I’d love to get your advice on how you’ve handled transitions in your own life.  It’s so stressful to not know what you’re doing next.  People ask you what are you doing and then they can’t believe that you don’t know what you’re doing.”

Maria is reaching out to others for advice on how to transition to the next phase of her life.  For many women, Maria’s outreach is reassuring.  For a public figure to express that her future is unknown is both a positive and comforting example for those experiencing similar turmoil.  Maria now has the opportunity to stand for the empowerment of women by respecting herself, having a high self-esteem, trusting her independence and not tolerating bad behavior.

Dr. Judy Kuriansky is a world renowned radio advice host, clinical psychologist, certified sex therapist, popular lecturer, newspaper columnist, author of many books, including The Complete Idiot’s Guide ® to a Healthy Relationship and saw Arnold and Maria’s love bloom firsthand at their engagement party.  To help Maria and women everywhere, she has offered three suggestions to handle transitions in life:

1. Dream big: Allow yourself time to be quiet and meditate.  Think about your ultimate dream.  Do not add qualifications or possible inhabitants.  Let your mind run free.  Imagine without any hesitations.

2. Re-focus your energy: Try out the following exercises:

– Picture your future by drawing a matrix.  Put yourself in the center and tasks you are completing now in bubbles around  you.  Look at those tasks and think of how you could turn them into a substantial activity focus.

– Host a gathering of friends.  Have each of them brainstorm something that you are good at, or what you could be doing in your next stage of life.  When you do this, be sure to write down all of the suggestions.

– Browse a college course brochure.  Look for something new that you’ve always wanted to learn, but never had the time.

3. Anxiety into action: Transitioning can translate to both stress and excitement.  Once you accept the stress and anxiety, you will gain the courage to face the unknown.

How have you have handled a new transition in life?  Share your stories with Cupid below.