Here is a four-step process to help divorced families handle traditions and changes during the holidays.
P: Planning and Positive New Traditions
Planning the holiday schedule in advance reduces the chances for miscommunication and gives parents time to iron out any conflicts.
Plan something special for the children over the holidays, so they have something to look forward to with each parent.
Take some “me” time for you to rest, relax and recuperate.
Focus on the positive aspects of these changes. Your children have two parents who love them and want to spend holiday time with them. Involve your children in planning and experiencing new activities and holiday traditions.
Anytime there is a life-changing event, such as a divorce, family traditions and routines are affected. Children see the family unit as broken. Recognize and acknowledge that it’s sad that you won’t be together over the holidays.
The disruption of holiday and family traditions is difficult. Children generally want to be with both parents during this special time of year. Help your children deal with these emotions by talking about the changes.
C: Cooperation and Communication
Try to cooperate with scheduling and have added flexibility which reduces conflict. If you can’t work it out, let it go.
If possible, do something special with the children for the other parent. A simple card or dinner during the holidays sends a positive message to your kids.
Allow the other parent to easily communicate by phone or Skype with the children over the holidays. A lack of communication during the holidays can lead to conflict. This is an easy way of co-parenting.
Children often feel divided and torn in a divorce, so give your children permission to enjoy holiday time with the other parent. This way, children can look forward to spending time with each parent without feeling guilty.
Encourage your children to talk about their feelings and give them say in what they want over the holidays.
For more information about Hope After Divorce, click here.
Amie Greenberg, JD, MBA has a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Pitzer College. She has a JD from the University of La Verne, College of Law and an MBA from the University of La Verne College of Business and Public Management. She now practices family law in Beverly Hills, California. Amie and her mother Barbara Greenberg, MD, authored I Am Divorced … But I’m Still Me books after personally and professionally experiencing the impact of divorce. They recognized a need to acknowledge how children viewed their world before, during, and after divorce. Their hope is to help other families who are going through the pain of divorce. You can contact Amie for legal services at amiegreenberglaw.com. Follow her on Twitter @4childofdivorce. Amie is a contributing expert at Divorce Support Center and their Director of Community Outreach with her blog Divorce Corner™. Amie also contributes as an advisory board member of Divorce Support Center. More information about the authors, their books, and their blog is available at http://www.AChildsViewofDivorce.com.
If you want to celebrate the holidays with your honey in a wholesome, sentimental way, then you’ve got to ditch your addiction to your phone! Dating coach David Wygant hilariously depicts the struggles of a couple with one partner stuck on their touch-screen device throughout every moment of the day. Watch and learn how detrimental it can be to your relationship. If you want to give your significant other the best gift this season, get off your iPhone and live in the moment!
The holidays are always an awkward time to start a relationship. There are few people who proclaim to be great gift givers and can wander through stores to pick out the perfect presents for everyone on their list. It’s difficult enough to give thoughtful gifts to close family and friends and not be swayed by the latest and greatest gadgets that everyone wants but aren’t necessarily thoughtful.
This winter, some lucky couples will be cuddling up next to fireplaces, warming up with hot chocolate and marshmallows, and, depending on their location, riding in horse-drawn carriages and hitting the slopes together…all in the name of love. The holidays often bring out a softer, more romantic side as established pairs get nostalgic and newbies want to create magical memories. What better way to beat the winter blues and heat up your relationship than getting away for a fabulous rendezvous with your mate?
“Stay in bed a few extra minutes in the morning and listen to the birds chirping outside your window…”
Fall is my favorite time of the year. Besides the cooler temperatures and beautiful colors in the mountains, I love what it represents. The holidays are coming, and family time is more prevalent. I get to make soup for dinner more often than not, and it’s time to turn the fireplaces on and bring out the blankets. Plus, it’s by far the best time of the year for driving around in my convertible PT Cruiser with the top down. I tell myself it is good for my soul; it makes me feel happy and alive. And if it’s too cold for the top to be down, I put it down anyway and blast the heater. I know that there are others out there who do the very same thing!
Let’s face it: Life is crazy! Trying to keep up with the hustle and bustle of each day is overwhelming: work, family commitments, school, soccer, dance classes, friends, health, birthday parties, holidays, babies, and so on. Sometimes, we look back on the week and wonder where it went. One of the challenges you might face, as a result of this stress, is staying connected to your spouse. Putting your relationship on the back burner can quickly breed cracks in the foundation of marriage — and a cracked foundation can often be difficult to repair.
It’s hard not to be enamored with Chrissy Teigen and John Legend and the love they share for each other. With that thought in mind, I took a look at their nonverbal cues to determine what their body language reveals about their relationship.
Yes, it can! This answer is according to the couples that I interviewed for my book, Successful Second Marriages. What prompted a book about second marriages? The failure of my own second marriage and my admiration for remarrieds who found success in this second chance love — success in spite of the negative numbers for second marriages. Statistics approximate that half of first marriages end in divorce. For second timers, the odds for staying together get even tougher: Two-thirds of those taking the plunge a second time don’t make it. With odds like these, it is surprising that more than half of those first-time exes remarry…but they do! We are a nation in love with love.
On this week’s Single in Stilettos show, founder Suzanne Oshima talks to dating coach Mr. Locario about what attracts a man. A self-proclaimed serial dater, he started out by helping his friends and family with their love lives — and now, he’s here to help you! We all know that every man is attracted to different things, but there are some qualities that catch the attention of all guys. For instance, men like women with positive and pleasant attitudes as well as women who are independent and have their own lives.
Kailen Rosenberg, Oprah’s “Love Ambassador” and co-host of the revolutionary television show Lovetown USA, knows what it takes to find a lasting relationship and love. The relationship author has a method that inspires people to put aside their bad habits and find their true self — and she has proof that the dating advice works in many happy famous couples that she’s helped. Her new book, Real Love, Right Now, is a set of guidelines that focus on discovering what really matters in a romantic relationship. The dating expert touches upon physical, mental and emotional self-appraisal before explaining her 30-day plan to help singles succeed in their search for The One. Real Love, Right Now even comes with it’s own set of fun “homework” assignments to deepen its impact.
It happens all the time. Things are going really well in your relationship, and then all of a sudden — BOOM, like a guillotine coming down on someone’s head — something goes wrong. But this time, the guillotine is coming down on your head, and you’re facing another heartbreak.
You thought you knew exactly what he wanted; you read all the books and watched all the dating programs; and you did everything you could to make sure you were the perfect girlfriend. You even spoke for hours on end with the girls about what men really want and how to play the relationship game properly. Trouble is, it seems you still don’t know what men DON’T want in a relationship.
You’ve been divorced a while–maybe six months, maybe more than two years–and nobody better has shown up to tempt you. What’s more, parenting as a solo act has proven to be a heavy burden. And on top of that, the kids haven’t given up pestering you about getting their dad to move “back home.” You’d think by now they’d be used to the new order of things, but no, they’re relentless about wanting Daddy to return. And you’re tired of hearing them “singing the same old song.”
You may recognize relationship expert Kailen Rosenberg as “the love guru,” “the love whisperer” or, as Oprah Winfrey recently named her, the official “ambassador of love.” With her starring role on Lovetown, USA from the Oprah Winfrey Network/BBC Worldwide, she put her education and experience to the test: Oprah asked Rosenberg and Paul Carrick Brunson to transform Kingsland, Georgia, into a town filled with grace, kindness and open hearts. Of how she helped the community with her dating advice, she says, “What I look for isn’t necessarily what is working, but what is not. I seek out what is broken, the areas that sabotage relationships and love, and help each person to work through their pain and heal, so that they can experience the love and the partner they truly deserve.” …Can’t wait for the rest? Click here for more.
Love the one you are with. Photo: Kurhan / Bigstock.com
By Amy Osmond Cook, Ph.D.
Marilyn Monroe had it all–fame, beauty, wealth, and some powerful boyfriends–but the one thing she wanted most eluded her. She had three troubled marriages and a host of unfulfilling affairs, and she removed herself from all of them for various reasons.[1] Marilyn’s unhappiness amidst spectacular success is nothing short of tragic, but we can learn from the path she trod in her short 36 years of life. From her brief comments about the unraveling of her marriages, here’s the advice I believe she would give about how to learn from her relationships and find lasting love.
A couple that is mad at each other. Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd / Bigstock.com
By Melanie Mar
We’ve all heard of the phrase “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Hopefully it wasn’t being said to you. It’s a hard thing to let someone down, especially a person that cares for you more than you care for them. What does this phrase mean? Moreover, how can you express this sentiment to someone you care for deeply while causing the least amount of pain? We’ll explore some key ideas that can help you break the news as easily as possible:
Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli. Photo: Chris Hatcher / PR Photos
By Tristan Coopersmith
Picture this: You are at the altar, on the brink of saying “I do” to your hunky fiancé. Your designer dress is stunning. The weather is perfect. You’ve never had a better hair day. It all seems so dreamy until the officiant tweaks the vows a bit instead saying, “til death do you part or you aren’t willing to work on your marriage anymore.” Naturally, you’d be awestruck. After all, such words certainly don’t channel those fairytale wedding fantasies. The fact though is that most marriages don’t end with one spouse six feet under; they dissolve because couples often try to rescue their relationship after the chance of survival window has closed.
Take Jennie Garth (our beloved Kelly from the original 90210) and Peter Facinelli (the grown up Twilight hunk) for example. Together nearly TWO decades, this couple recently called it quits, reportedly after trying to work on their marriage. But as any marriage counselor will tell you, working on it may not be enough, especially if that work begins too late. So what’s a couple in marriage distress to do? Before you say, “I don’t anymore,” follow these steps for a promising road to relationship rescue:
I get emails all the time asking me, “You live in Hollywood. You must meet famous people, right?” Let me tell you a little bit about the way I think about famous people.
I don’t see them; I see dead people. Oops! That’s the wrong movie. That’s from “The Sixth Sense.” I really don’t see famous people. I mean, I do see them, but people have to point them out to me.
A few months ago when I was walking down the street with my black Labrador, Daphne, this cute blond was walking towards me with three other black dogs. She said, “Look at all the black dogs!”
I thought, ‘Wow, she’s observant. She is flirting with me.’ So I said, “Look at those three dogs! Are they yours?” The cute blond said “No, I’m working at the rescue place today.”
The blond was wearing a sweatshirt, tennis shoes and a pair of jeans. She had no makeup on, and she had her hair pulled back. She looked really cute. The voice sounded really familiar. The face looked familiar. The only thing missing was E.T. What I realized then was that I was standing face-to-face flirting with Drew Barrymore.
