Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice for the Guys: Why Is it So Hard to Date?Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice for the Guys: Why Is it So Hard to Date?

By David Wygant

I’m going to tell you why it’s so hard to date. And I’m going to blame it all on the women. I bet I got your attention, and any women listening or reading this right now- need to pay attention. It’s so hard to date because women are so flaky these days. You meet a woman on an online dating app. You text back and forth. You get her phone number. You spend time talking to her on the phone. You set up a date night, which you’re excited about. And then, you send her a text the morning of the date to confirm.  And right away you get a text back, and she comes up with one of her excuses: “I’ve got a work project that came up.” You think to yourself, ‘man, that’s the same type of excuse I’ve been giving women this whole time.’ You almost feel like you’re being blown off by a dude. Well, you are;  because women are the flakiest beings on the planet.

Relationship Advice For Men On How To Successfully Date Women

And what makes them hard to date for men, is that women are judging you based on whatever story happened to them in the past. You see, women never let go of anything. They’re constantly talking about the past. Even as a relationship expert, I remember I would sit down with my ex, and we would talk about the present, and she would go back to what I did to her five years ago. In full detail.And how she’s never gotten over it.  And that’s the problem. The older you get, the more you date, the more women have not gotten over the guys that have burned them. You see, women are the greatest story tellers in the world. They love to tell stories non-stop. So the older they are, the more villains they have in their stories. By the time they meet you, even though they’d like to get together,  and they’ve talked it over with friends on how to get together- they go through all the things that can go wrong on a date, and you’re guilty by association. Just because you are a male, and you have facial stubble, means you’re going to be just like the other ass that burned her before.

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So what dating tips can help you get around this? Well, first off, you need to set precedent. When you call her, or talk to her, you need to tell her plain and simple, ‘Hey if we’re going to get together, we’re getting together, but if you’re going to flake on me like so many other women, then I don’t really want to set plans; because I’m looking forward to getting to know who you are.’ When you get her phone number for the first time, you need to look at her and say ‘I’m only going to take your phone number, if you’re not a flaker. Because I don’t deal with flakers.  I find them to be, well, almost like dating, or trying to date, a kindergartner, and I’m not going to do that.’ You have to literally call them out on their future flake before it happens. You need to stop the flake from happening. When you’ve planted it in their brain, that you don’t deal with flakers, you’re literally telling them that they have one chance to be with you. The great guy that you are.

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Look, we’ve all been flaked on many times, and I’m sure we’ve been flaked on by women that could literally have been our girlfriend, because that’s what life is about. I’ve played the game of chase and flake. Where I’ve chased them down, and finally after three weeks of chasing I get to go out with them.  And they always say the same thing:  “Wow, I wish I went out with you sooner!” I’ll look at them and tell them: “Well, if you gave up a few nights of wine drinking with your friends, and if you gave up a few nights of pretending to be busy, we already would’ve been in a relationship.”

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The relationship advice I hope you take away is that you have to realize that women don’t let go of what happened to them in the past. You need to prove to them no matter what, that you’re a man of action, and you’re different than anyone else without literally stating it in words (if at all possible). And if you feel that you actually have to say something, the only way to do it is to call them out on the potential flake before it happens, and set the date night in stone. When you send them that text in the beginning of the day reconfirming, you literally need to make it clear: ‘I will see you at 8:00 tonight. No flaking allowed.’

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship expert, author of the book Naked, and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching, and his website, his love advice has transformed the relationships and love of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe. 

For more expert relationship advice from David, click here.