By Jared Sais
“I found out that a guy liked me, and I liked him too. I tried to talk to him more and set up a casual date, but he stopped responding. What gives?”
As a relationship expert, I hear about this story happening a lot. It’s like the person just vanishes. You thought they liked you back. You were talking a lot, and then suddenly, you never hear back from them. This phenomenon is called “ghosting,” and the idea behind it is simple: It’s easier to ignore the situation instead of facing it head on.
Related Link: Expert Love Advice: 10 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You
Relationship Expert Shares His Thoughts on “Ghosting”
People ghost as a way to say they’re not interested in you. It sucks, I know. It hurts, and you’re left with a bad taste in your mouth. Things may even feel unresolved. I hope you take comfort in the fact you’re not alone. People everywhere are wondering the same question. What the heck is going on?
Ghosting is the new way of saying, “It’s not you; it’s me.” Technology has been integrated into the dating world and the process of forming new relationships and love. Ghosting is how people are using (or not using) it to end their partnerships.
As part of my expert dating advice, I’ve said before that people don’t have the same social skills they used to. They text instead of talking face-to-face. I remember when texting was considered the “cheap way” to break-up with someone. Back then, someone would be so offended if you called it quits via text! Now it’s standard, and ghosting is becoming less and less taboo.
So if the person just vanishes into the night with no response, chances are he’s ghosting you and isn’t interested in continuing what you already started. But why, right? You want answers!
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The first thing that comes to mind is that they might have been dating other people at the same time and felt they had more in common with the other person. A second possibility is that, while they aren’t seeing someone else, they didn’t feel that chemistry with you, causing them to ghost you. A third option — one that’s very cliche but could be true — is that they’re a workaholic and simply don’t have time for a relationship. Regardless of why, they’re ignoring you instead of being an adult about things and just talking to you.
Here’s what you need to remember: If someone is truly interested in you, they’ll want to see you, talk to you, and spend time with you. That’s how you should be treated: with kindness and respect. How someone starts or ends a relationship shows a lot about their character. If someone is ghosting you, they probably aren’t ready for anything serious. It’s time to move on!
Jared Sais is the co-author of the website The Non-Verbal Game, where you can find free downloadable content. He is a relationship expert in non-verbal communication, who specializes in dating advice about body language, micro-expressions, and lie deception.
