Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: What To Do When You’re No Longer In Love?Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: What To Do When You’re No Longer In Love?

By David Wygant

This could be the easiest question that I could ever answer for anyone. What do you do when you’re no longer in love? Here’s what the typical person does. They stay in the relationship. That’s right. 80 percent of the people that are no longer in love stay in the relationship for an endless amount of time because they feel guilty that they actually no longer love their partner. So they’ll sign up for a life of misery in order to protect their partner’s feelings. When in reality it’s ridiculous because if you’re miserable and you don’t even love your partner anymore, your partner is definitely feeling that on so many different core levels. The two of you can just sit around the house, make each other miserable. Sleep in the same bed or separate rooms. Never touch one another, never have sex, but yet stay together for the sake of the children. Or stay together for the sake of not wanting to hurt someone instead of confronting relationship problems head on.

Dating Advice That Will Help You Deal With The Partner You No Longer Love

Although I’m now a relationship expert and matchmaker, I also reacted the same. I remember a long time ago I was no longer in love with somebody that I was with. I hovered in that relationship for at least a year before I finally had the guts to end that relationship. What did I do? I basically took a year of someone’s life away from them. That’s right, you’re a life stealer when you don’t have the guts to go and literally talk to somebody about the way you’re feeling. And being a life stealer is one of the worst possible stealers you can possibly be. Because in life, when we die, all we ever wish for is more time. Basically you’re taking somebody’s time away from them.

Related Link: Dating Advice: Should I Drop All The Other People I’m Interested In?

So here’s my relationship advice. If you’re no longer in love with somebody you need to really — well first off, maybe get coaching or maybe some therapy to figure out what it is you fell out of love with. But it’s important to take responsibility for your feelings, own your feelings. Own who you are as a person so you’re no longer hiding behind the fear. Then, you need to let that person go. Sting said ever so wisely in a song, “when you love somebody, set them free.” You once loved this person. You no longer do. So set them free so they’re able to literally go on and have the life they’re looking for. The longer you keep them in this relationship because the feelings of guilt and fear of being honest or breaking up, the longer you’re going to — well literally, increase the anger that’s going to come out of them. Have some guts. Tell somebody what you really think when you’re no longer in love. It really is that clear.

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship expert, author of the book Naked, and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching, and his website, his love advice has transformed the relationships and love of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe. 

For more expert relationship advice from David, click here.