Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice: Should I Drop All The Other People I’m Interested In?Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice: Should I Drop All The Other People I’m Interested In?

By David Wygant

This is always a controversial subject, especially in today’s modern “swipe dating.” 93 percent of the people that go out on a date meet on Bumble, Tinder, Hinge or Match will go home that night and literally get back online to see whether or not there’s somebody else that’s better. Somebody that might be cuter. Somebody that might have a better body. These online dating services are a brilliant marketing ploy to get people to think that there’s a huge paradox of choice. It’s literally like going on Amazon, but instead you get to look at all the men and women out on the market. You see, by getting on all these devices constantly, there’s no reason to ever settle for somebody that’s awesome. So we continually get on this treadmill hoping that there’s something better. I personally have been a victim of this as well. I’ve been single for four years, and even that’s with all my knowledge in the dating field as a relationship expert. I have definitely had my share of going out with somebody and then going home and swiping to see if she is out there. Whatever the version of she or he is, you know that they might be out there, because every day the inventory is changing. Just like your favorite supermarket. Why buy a mushy avocado when you can go buy a brand new one the very next day?

Dating Advice That Will Help You Figure Out If You Should Drop Potential Partners

So how do you know when to stop the treadmill dating? When you find somebody you actually connect with. Somebody that makes it easy to hang out. Somebody that’s authentic and real. Somebody that communicates their needs, wants, and desires and does not play games with you. Somebody that you’re really attracted to, and realize that there’s no perfect person out there, but yet this person is somebody that you’ve never met before. There’s not much to say about this, except grow up. There’s a reason why people are swiping and dating is that they have no idea what they’re doing. People are not giving each other chances anymore to really connect on a deeper level. There are major issues that go on with the swiping and dating, and they contribute to major relationship problems in the future.

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You can either get off the treadmill and give somebody amazing a chance for at least a month or two, and if it doesn’t work out, then go back to the hamster wheel of dating. By all means, run back to the roulette wheel and spin and see if you get lucky again; but know that the only way to get to truly know somebody is to actually give them an opportunity to get to know you. Give them a chance, have a mini-relationship. Plus, sincere relationships are far better than minute relationships that last three hours on a first date. Even if you only hang with somebody for 30 days or 60 days, you’re going to learn something amazing about yourself. So my dating advice, I suggest all you swipers, go out there and give somebody a real opportunity. Give them 60 days. See what happens. See if you can form a relationship. Get to know who they are. And make sure to remember that anybody can put on their best game face for 90 minutes on a first date night; but what you truly need is to get to a level of intimacy that you can trust somebody, feel something for them, and have sex that blows you away. If have any questions on this, let me know.

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship expert, author of the book Naked, and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching, and his website, his love advice has transformed the relationships and love of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe. 

For more expert relationship advice from David, click here.