Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Dating Advice: Mastering the Nonverbal Cues of FlirtingCupid's Pulse Article: Expert Dating Advice: Mastering the Nonverbal Cues of Flirting

By Jared Sais

I have written a lot of articles over the years offering dating advice, but perhaps none as special as this. This is what my new book (still in the works) is all about. I won’t give away all the secrets I have, you’ll have to read the book to get them yourself, but I will give you a few nonverbal cues to be on the look-out for and tips on how you can master them yourself. The truth is, if you were to perfect these flirting cues, you just might have lines of people waiting to get to know you. Some of these cues may seem overly simplistic, you may even say “oh come on, give me something I don’t know.” Yes, you may know how to smile, but for how long? Do you show teeth or not? Is your head tilted to the side or down? What are you doing with your hands as you smile? Are you looking at the person you’re smiling at? Did you just smile for too long? Does that make it creepy now? This, I must teach you.

Expert Dating Advice: Nonverbal Cues of Flirting

If I asked what the first way people greet one other is, you may say with a wave, a smile or a handshake. Would you be surprised to learn that all of these are wrong? Maybe you’ll be the first few to know that it is via eye contact. You may know that eye contact is important, but how long do you look for? Are you looking into the eyes, lips and or body? Not so easy, is it?  Yet, it is so important. Eye contact is the first thing I observe that will tell me if two people will be a strong match. People will gaze into each other’s eyes and not even consciously know. I know the exact amount of time that looking into someone’s eyes means uninterested or extreme attraction. What would you do with this gift? I have helped a countless number of clients find true love, I have used it to find true love myself, and now I am using this gift of dating advice to write a book to help the masses. You can read my other posts about relationship and dating advice on CupidsPulse that tell you how to smile, how to spot a real versus fake smile, or how to give good eye contact, so I’ll skip these things.

Related Link: Dating Expert Gives Five Body Language Cues to Look For on a First Date

1. Lick lips/attention to your mouth. You have to understand that there are nonverbal cues that will trigger reactions from us. We stand no chance to this trigger. Putting attention to your mouth, such as a lick, a bite or nipping at a straw will trigger a response from the person you are targeting. Think of it like this, if I were to ask you “how are you” you would probably say “good, and you?” Now, you may not be good but that’s what you say in response to that question; it’s an automatic response. So by drawing attention to your mouth, you are creating an automatic response, triggering your target to approach you and start a conversation. If you want attention from that special someone, make your lips the focal point.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice on How to Flirt with Men

2. The trifecta. Slightly tilt your head down (chin closer to your chest), look up at your target and perform a slight smile. The smile should be closed mouth when the head is down, but when you pick your head up you can open your mouth to show teeth. If you are a woman, you can pull your hair back or tuck it behind your ear. This is a three step nonverbal cue that will bedazzle your person of interest. It sends a strong message that you’re interested and are willing to have a conversation. It should not look creepy or forced, so before you go out, try it out. I tell my clients to practice this nonverbal trifecta in the mirror and to break up the trifecta into steps, then mash it all together. This can be quick, lasting a few seconds in time.

Related Link: Body Language to Create Instant Attraction

3. Separate from group. Almost no man will approach a big group of women and rarely in America does the woman approach the man. As the woman you need to separate from the pack and make yourself approachable. Also, you may want to leave behind your wing-woman/wing-man if that person is the “mother hen.” The mother hen tends to be a bit over-protective; men don’t need a background check when first approaching you, don’t let “mother hen” send him away from you. Instead, go alone to the bar and get a drink or take a friend who is fun and can create conversation to help the flow of your first meeting.

If you can perfect these dating tips from a dating expert, you will see just how quickly people will approach you. Have fun.

Jared Sais is the co-author of the website The Non-Verbal Game, where you can find free downloadable content. He is a dating expert in non-verbal communication, who specializes in body language, micro-expressions, and lie deception as they relate to relationships and love.