By Jared Sais
Instant attraction happens all the time. As a relationship expert, when I go out to research at a venue, I can spot this phenomena in a split second. However, people who share the nonverbal cues of instant attraction don’t usually know it at first. Their bodies seem to be on a different wavelength then the conscious mind. It’s as if their souls were meeting before their actual bodies were. The body subconsciously understands this connection, yet the individual people lag behind. Well not me. I see it first hand as fast as it happens. And this is my secret on what I look for. My dating advice is to look for three main nonverbal cues to identify instant attraction.
Dating Advice On Nonverbal Cues For Instant Attraction
1. Eye contact with a delayed neck turn lasting about two full seconds. This is a hard nonverbal cue to look for yourself. As you walk into a crowded place full of people you’re taking in more information than you can actually fully handle. You’re in a stage of information overload. So, when your body chooses to take a longer-than-average look at someone, that tells me they’re more important than the other people you decided to mentally block or purge. When the eye contact is reciprocated for an equal time of two seconds, that’s the first sign of instant attraction. The neck will slowly turn away instead of quickly whipping to the next target or person. This occurs because the eyes want a longer look at the person you’re interested in. Now, this happens so fast that your body keeps moving and your mind may not fully recognize the chemistry that just took place. Take my love advice and try to capitalize on those moments.
Related Link: Expert Love Advice: 10 Signs That He’s Just Not That Into You
2. A comparable physical attraction match. One thing I’ve noticed is that usually instant attraction takes place with people of close or equal attraction level. Meaning, if you wouldn’t normally be attracted to that person, you won’t form instant attraction to that person. Chemistry and survival make up a big part of this instant connection. Your body is saying that person would be a good match for you, as matching with them would lead to a good looking baby. Chemistry also plays a role as the force trying to make that happen. Hormones and pheromones are released and the two bodies start trying to push you two together. I’m not saying people won’t find love in other forms, such as personality, wits, stability, or economics. But we’re speaking about instant attraction and that is almost 100% based on looks or in this case, senses.
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3. The five senses create a liking.
- Sight/Looks. The obvious one. If you look good, more people will form an instant attraction towards you. This attraction isn’t always reciprocated back but if the two people are close or equal levels of attraction, it will be.
- Smell. Sure, we can say pheromones and hormones need to match up but the truth is if you smell nice, people want to be around you longer. If you smell bad, people will run away. Think of bees to a flower. Try and be the flower. Make sure you smell nice so you can keep the company surrounding you longer. Also, smell is a powerful tool. People remember smells long after other senses.
- Taste. No, you’re not eating the person. Well I hope you’re not. But taste does play a role when speaking about instant attraction. The Luncheon Technique is a persuasion tool that states if you give someone a tasty meal and ask for something, such as money, they’ll be more likely to give you what you want. So, if you approach someone in a nice place, as they’re eating and having fun, they will be more likely to respond favorably towards you. Now, not everyone likes to eat in front of strangers, or even be approached by one as they’re eating. But the idea is sound and there are specific ways to approach people in times like this that won’t create a sense of awkwardness.
- Touch. Touch is a powerful tool. It lets people know if you’re interested, strong, caring, friends, lovers or family. Touch is how we connect as humans and animals to show feelings and emotions. Based on touch, we can determine if someone will be or is instantly attracted to you on where they’re touching you. If a person (though in my findings a woman will usually perform this nonverbal action) puts a flat hand on your chest, that is a sign of trust and complete affection and lust. Hands on bicep, thigh, knee, side of the neck, cheek, hand and lower back are all attraction cues. The forearm can be a sign of attraction but can also be a sign of friendship. Depending on where you are and who is doing it and how it’s being done.
- Hearing. The sound of a voice can trigger a sense of attraction. How someones voice impacts your ears will send a sign of pleasant or unpleasant, adding to the force of instant attraction. If you like the way they sound, find it comforting or attractive and their voice matches their appearance, you’ll be more attracted to that person.
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I see people show nonverbal cues of instant attraction all the time. It happens everywhere such as on the street, at a bar, in a restaurant or at a friends party meeting new people. I hope when reading this you’ll be more open to observing this happen to you and will be able to capitalize on it and find the relationship and love to last a lifetime. So, my dating advice is to put away your phones and look into peoples eyes and see if you find what you’ve been looking for.
Jared Sais is the co-author of the website The Non-Verbal Game, where you can find free downloadable content. He is a dating expert in non-verbal communication, who specializes in body language, micro-expressions, and lie deception as they relate to relationships and love.
