By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Wendy Newman to discuss the biggest dating pitfalls and offer their best expert dating advice. Newman shares the five dating pitfalls that women often fall into and how to avoid them.

Relationship Author Wendy Newman Shares Expert Dating Advice

1. Feeling obligated to please a man: Women often worry about hurting a man’s feelings or displeasing him, but it’s important to keep your own feelings in mind. For instance, say you meet a man on a blind date, and he lied about his age and appearance. Rather than accepting the lie and sitting through the date, reject him graciously. Explain that he lied and that you won’t be staying. As Oshima explains, “The one thing you can never get back is your time.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Are You Intimidating Men?

2. Approaching a man with too much information: When dating, it’s tempting to lead with your end game: that you’ll make a wonderful, loving wife someday. But for a man, that’s too much, too soon. To start, he just wants to know whether or not you’ll be a good friend. “Instead, say, ‘This is who I am as an interesting person. Who are you?'” says the relationship author.

3. Dating only one person at a time: By limiting yourself to a pool of one, you’re comparing that relationship to being alone. “And that’s not good. It’ll have us miss important things about them or not ask questions and dig in,” Newman shares. Plus, dating multiple men at once gives you a better understanding of what you want from a relationship.

4. Dealing negatively with compatibility and chemistry: Chemistry is essential to a healthy, happy relationship, but it’s not enough. It’s easy to become distracted by a handsome face or a successful career, but don’t make excuses for him if he’s not the whole package.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Don’t Be a Rules Girl!

5. Trying to be someone you’re not: According to Newman, this is the number one mistake. Don’t follow a set of rules or what you think you should do. Instead, figure out what works best for you as you’re building a relationship and stick with it.

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