By Joshua Pompey

You’re fresh out of a volatile relationship and ready to start something new. What an exciting time in your life, right? But not so fast! Before you go jumping into that next relationship, ask yourself the question: am I really ready, or am I simply on the rebound? Below are five signs you may not be quite ready to take on a new partner yet. Follow this relationship advice so you can avoid hurting yourself and others.

Relationship Advice That Will Help You Determine Whether You’re Rebounding


1. You’re rushing into the process: These days we live in a world of unlimited options. Get out of a two year relationship and within seconds you could be online and swiping right for that next partner. But just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. The heart takes time to heal, and even if you were the one who initiated the break up, or as people famously say, “It felt like we were broken up for months,” you still need some time to breathe and be on your own first. Eventually you will be ready to swipe right until your fingers are bleeding, but in the beginning stages, take your time.

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2. Dating nostalgia: If you are on date night with someone new and find your mind constantly glamorizing the past with your ex, you are still on the rebound. Regardless of how many memories you have in certain locations, if you are truly ready to be with someone new those memories should fade to the back of your mind and allow yourself to be in the present. Allowing nostalgia to get the best of you means you just aren’t ready.

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3. You still have an impulse to text your ex: If you have that impulse to text your ex every time you see an inside joke or something that reminds you of them, you are definitely still on the rebound. No matter how innocent you convince yourself that sending your ex a text is, it’s not. You are just using it as an excuse to make contact with someone you miss. That isn’t fair to  your future partner, so sort that out before you pursue a new relationship.

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4. Bringing baggage along for the ride: Sometimes bad relationships can be very volatile and come with a whole lot of fighting. But once you break free of that and move on to someone new. You can’t bring the old tensions, suspicions, and unhealthy behavior along for the ride. A new relationship needs to be a completely fresh slate. If you can’t do that, you aren’t ready and will only set yourself up for countless relationship problems.

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5. The effort isn’t there: You can’t put in a 110% effort physically or emotionally if you are still even the slightest bit focused on your ex. Block him or her on Facebook. Block text messages. Do whatever it is you need to do to forget that person. Not being on the rebound allows you to put your heart and soul into making that other person happy, and just as importantly, making yourself happy in the process!

For more information from our relationship expert Joshua Pompey, you can read free articles and advice here, including why you should avoid matchmakers if you are over 40.