By Debbie Ceresa from Divorce Support Center

How many times have you said this to your partner? “You never hear what I say! Aren’t you listening to me?” Or maybe they’ve accused you of not hearing or remembering what was said. The longtime celebrity couple Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn credit listening as a secret to a successful relationship. “Learn to listen and live in the moment. Don’t over plan your future; focus on being the best partner you can be in the present moment, and the rest will follow.” Listening is key to building and maintaining a healthy relationship, but it’s not easy. The skills of a good listener require dedication and a heart with ears. You must have the ability to give yourself totally to the person who is talking. It’s not easy because we are constantly inundated with outside distractions, such as our thoughts, cell phones, and social media. In his book, Wherever You Go, There You Are, Jon Kabat-Zinn, professor of medicine emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, defines mindfulness, or active listening, as paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally. We listen to understand, to obtain information, and for enjoyment, but researchers and relationship experts at the University of Minnesota found that “the average person only remembers half of what he or she has immediately heard said by another person.” Over time, that result can have a devastating effect on your relationships. A key factor in a successful relationship is to become a pro in active listening. Active listeners make an effort to hear what has been said and understand the message. To accomplish this, you must master four of these dating tips.

Relationship Advice On Active Listening

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By Debbie Ceresa for Divorce Support Center

Typically, I don’t spend much time on the computer. However, the past several months have been different. I started experiencing insomnia, fatigue and headaches because I was consumed by the internet when I no longer felt safe. I was outsmarted by a woman that I’ve known for years. I’ll call her Lena. Lena insisted I participate in a group discussion about personal matters, but I declined her meeting. I felt it was not appropriate for me to be involved. Nevertheless, Lena continued to pursue my involvement, claiming I was unsupportive. One day I dialed Lena’s number and left a voice mail, explaining why I wouldn’t attend the group. Lena asked for me to follow up with a text message, claiming she couldn’t hear the recording. Lena forwarded my text message to members of the very group I declined to attend. The message was used to embarrass, humiliate, and alienate me from her supporters. Rude comments appeared on my Facebook, Twitter, and other social media accounts. Many of these messages were from people I didn’t even know. I became a victim of cyberbullying. And sadly, I received only a taste of what cyberbullying is like in the online dating world. Long-term relationship problems can arise as a result of cyberbullying if not properly dealt with. As a relationship expert who has gone through it, I offer my relationship advice on how to get over cyber bullying.

Relationship Advice On Dealing With Cyber Bullies

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By Debbie Ceresa for Divorce Support Center

Have you ever wondered how Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson make their celebrity marriage work? How about Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr.? You’re not alone. Most singles wonder if they should wait for that magical attraction to happen. In our quest to solve this mystery, we often turn to expert dating advice. We Google. We write, and we do research. However, the question remains: What is love? The question was even the hottest search phrase on Google in 2014.
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