By Kerri Zane
As a single mom, there are holidays we love like Halloween and 4th of July. Then there are holidays that we don’t love so much, like Valentine’s Day. The bountiful red hearts, bundles of red roses, inane jewelry commercials and mushy holiday cards are consistent reminders of our painfully evident single status. But we can be above it all. As the Single Mom Advisor, I have five surefire tips, to handle our hearts and mind with tender loving care. We can all get through this Hallmark Holiday with our healthy egos in tact.
1. Grieve with Gusto
In the movie Moonlighting, Cher’s character said, “Snap out of it.” It is the old school way of recovering from life’s traumas. The reality is we all need time to grieve. So if this Valentine’s season finds you fresh out of a relationship, give yourself space to mourn your loss. Turn up the tune that was “your” song or play something that make you want to cry. When I was just separated I loved getting in my car and turning up my Evanescence CD. I’d drive and cry and think and sing along with Amy Lee’s sultry voice until I felt better.
Related: Surviving Valentine’s Day
Appreciate the You in You
As a woman, it’s crucial to your well being to appreciate and love yourself. After all, if you don’t respect yourself how can you expect that of anyone else? You have to know what you are bringing to the party. I suggest you write yourself a love note including all the things you appreciate most about you.
Be Weary of Red
In the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology researchers found that men interpreted red as a signal that a woman was more open to sexual advances. They went on to say; “It’s well known that males tend to inflate a woman’s sexual appeal if they believe she’ll be more open to a pickup line.” And it didn’t matter if it was a low cut sexy dress or a simple t-shirt. So if you’re looking to lay low this Valentine’s Day, then avoid the color red. If you want a little mindless hmm hmm, primp your pretty pout with rouge.
Related: 7 Behaviors That Are Keeping You Single
Fun With Friends
You know the saying, “Men will come and go, but girlfriends are forever”? Have a Valentines Vision Board Party. Invite your BFF’s over, open a bottle of champagne, pull out the scissors, poster board, glue and old magazines and spend the evening creating “new romance” vision boards.
Engaged With Your Young Ones
You may find a new guy to share your life with down the line, but he will never take precedence over your children. So go ahead and create a new Valentine’s tradition celebrating the love you share with those divine little creatures you cherish most.
Kerri Zane is an Emmy award winning, twenty-year veteran television executive producer, healthy living expert, single mom advisor, speaker and author of “It Takes All 5: A Single Mom’s Guide to Finding the REAL One,” published by Morgan James, (November 2012). She has an M.A. in Spiritual Psychology from USM and a B.A. from UCLA. She is a member of NATAS, the Directors Guild of America, an ACE Certified Personal Trainer and Weight Management Consultant. For more advice, visit http://kerrizane.com/.
