Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Relationship Advice: Is It Lust or Love?Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Relationship Advice: Is It Lust or Love?

By Joshua Pompey

The first few weeks of dating can be so exciting: the laughter, the new experiences, and, of course, the physical connection. But how exactly do you know if the chemistry you’re feeling should be attributed to blooming love versus something that is merely an intense physical attraction? If you are attempting to determine whether it’s lust or love, try asking yourself the following questions:

Dating Expert Shares Expert Relationship Advice

1. How excited are you to see each other when you are outside the bedroom? Sure, it’s easy to get excited when you’re about to get physical. But how motivated are you to hang out when it isn’t late at night or only because all of your other plans fell through? Love is when you are dying to just be near that person, regardless of the circumstances or whether or not there is a physical interaction on the horizon.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: 4 Reasons to Avoid Matchmakers

2. Are you having romantic thoughts? If you’re in love, you will most likely go out of your way to make the other person happy on an emotional level. Your thoughts and date ideas will have a little extra romance infused into them. With love, you don’t just want to make the person happy in order to get them into bed. You want to make them happy because it genuinely makes you feel good to see them smile.

3. Would you be willing to go months without sex? Ask yourself: If your partner suddenly decided they wanted to wait a few months before having sex again, would you stick around? If the answer is yes, you are definitely leaning in the direction of love.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How to Make the First Move (Women’s Edition)

4. Do your conversations constantly default back to sex? When I was involved in mini relationships that were mainly focused on lust, the conversation would more often than not turn sexual or revolve around physical flirtations. On the flip side, when I genuinely connected with someone, sure, there was sexual flirtation, but there were also conversations that probed towards getting to know the other person on a deeper level. If you are moving towards love, topics that hold more weight should be a part of your daily interactions.

For more expert relationship advice from dating expert Joshua Pompey, including how many online dating photos you should have in your profile, click here.