Relationship Advice: 4 Reasons To Leave The Past In The Past

By Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher for Project Soulmate

One of the hardest decisions in life is knowing when to walk away from a relationship and love. It’s no secret that romance is hard work, but when your love life becomes more work than it’s worth, you have to realize that, while fighting for love is admirable, you might be fighting for a lost cause. As relationship experts, we know that when the connection begins to unravel, sometimes, there’s no coming back. And while that may be hard to accept, take our relationship advice and stick to your guns when you decide to pull the trigger on an unhealthy relationship.

NYC Matchmakers Give Relationship Advice: Never Get Back With Your Ex!

Take our expert love advice and remember these four reasons to never to get back with an ex:

1. Trust is token: There’s a reason that you decided to break up with your partner in the first place. Whether it was because of cheating, lying, or even abuse, once the trust is lost, there’s no coming back. Relationships are built on trust, which is nearly impossible to earn back because you will always be wondering what else they lied about and feel the need to track every move they make. It’s also hard for them to break the cycle. Even if you get back together and they try to fix the issue at hand, the chances of them slipping up are high. It’ll feel like you’re waiting for them to mess up, which is not a healthy foundation for a partnership.

Related Link: Love Advice: You Love It, He Loves It Not

2. Never settle: You may feel the urge to get back with them because it feels comfortable. You know them inside out and don’t have to put yourself back on the market. But by settling for someone who you know in your heart is not right for you, you’re not giving love a fair shot. If someone broke the trust and you’re considering taking them back, think again. If they were the right match for you and loved you, they would not have betrayed you. While everyone deserves a second chance, you will quickly learn that you can’t change someone. While you’re trying to change your ex into someone you want them to be, you could be missing ample opportunities to meet your soul mate.

3. Staying is harder than moving on: We all know that when it comes to a break-up, the hardest part is moving on. And while time heals all wounds, it’s a very painful and sometimes long process to get over someone that you loved. Getting back together with your ex may seem like a short-term solution, but it’s not. The only thing harder than moving on from your relationship is moving forward in it. Getting over the betrayal or trust issues and being able to move past the reasons that you initially broke up is very difficult.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 5 Surefire Signs He’s Into You…or Not

4. It’s not worth the ego boost: If your boyfriend broke up with you and wants to get back together, you will be tempted because it is a boost to your ego that he wants you back. And if you broke up with your boyfriend, he will probably try to earn the trust back and get back together because it is a blow to his ego that you rejected him. When it comes to deciding whether you want to get back together, you cannot let your ego (or his) cloud your judgement. If you get back together for the wrong reasons or what seems like a good idea in the moment, you will quickly regret it.

Relationship experts Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher are BRAVO TV’s Love Brokers and founders of Project Soulmate, a high-end New York-based matchmaking company.