Expert Dating Advice: 5 Signs He’s Mr. Now and Not Mr. Right

By Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher for Project Soulmate

Everyone dreams of the fairytale ending, but nobody said that finding Prince Charming would be easy. Even when we fall in — what feels like — love, we’re still not always sure that he’s The One. After all, relationships and love are supposed to be work, right? While this may be true to an extent, a romance should not be more work than it’s worth. One of the hardest decisions to make in a partnership is realizing when it’s time to walk away.

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While love may be enough to withstand the test of time in stories, reality is much more complicated than that. Two people could be in love and still not be right for each other. Knowing when you are a good fit for each other can be hard. With that thought in mind, here are five red flags that mean you aren’t dating Mr. Right:

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1. You don’t trust him: If there is no trust, there is no relationship. A relationship is primarily built off trust, so one without trust is like having a phone without service: It’s frustrating, and no matter how hard you try, it will never work. Let’s not beat around the bush: If you don’t trust your guy, there is a reason. Whether you saw a text from another girl pop up on his phone, found out he was cheating, or even just caught him in one too many lies, if you don’t trust your man, it’s over.

You cannot spend all of your time and energy stalking his whereabouts because, let’s face it, it’s exhausting. Instead of spending your time worrying about your guy’s every move, you should be enjoying your life and the people you love!

2. There’s no passion: Love and passion seem to go hand-in-hand. But the truth is that you can love someone without feeling any passion for them. If your relationship is lacking that burning passion that you’ve dreamed about, then you’re probably better off as friends. Passion is the longing for someone that makes you feel complete when you are together. And while the sexual passion is said to fade, the romantic passion should last forever. You should always feel like your partner is your other half and that you complete one another. While it’s true that passion isn’t everything, it is a necessary component to any successful relationship and love.

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3. You don’t feel accepted: Being in love means that you can completely be yourself around the other person. If you feel like you’re constantly walking on egg shells in your relationship or like you’re being judged by your man, then he isn’t right for you. A person that you love should accept you for exactly who you are and whatever baggage you carry. And while relationships require minor sacrifices, they should be mutual and not one-sided.

As relationship experts, we believe that you shouldn’t have to completely change yourself or give up the things that you love for another person. Your partner should accept you for who you are and embrace you with open arms. The truth is, if he really loves you, he should make the effort to learn about your hobbies, your work, and your loved ones. You should never have to give up your life to satisfy your man.

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4. He won’t talk about the future: Every couple has to eventually have “the talk” about the future. And while they may dread the moment that they have to face reality and realize they want different things, it’s a conversation that has to happen in order to move to the next phase in any partnership. It is true that every person has their own unique set of beliefs, but your partner’s goals have to jive with yours in order for a relationship to work. In the beginning stages, many couples don’t feel the need to talk about their these things, but as your relationship progresses, this discussion will become unavoidable. If you’re considering spending the rest of your life with someone, having a conversation about religion, children, and your future in general is crucial.

The sooner you have the conversation, the better. You definitely don’t want to marry someone, only to find out later that you both want different things in life. Even if you’re in love, having different values and wanting different things means that you aren’t right for each other. At the end of the day, you need to face the music and realize that it’s time to move on.

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5. He doesn’t respect you: A relationship and love is all about balance. Your partner should bring out the best in you, and you should bring out the best in him. But the truth is that many times people stay in romances that bring out the worst in them. While arguing is normal in any relationship, there needs to be a healthy line of communication where you can discuss your feelings openly before a full-fledged fight erupts. If your partner doesn’t have enough respect for you to sit down and tell you how they are feeling through a mature discussion, then your relationship will quickly spiral out of control.

Let’s face it: Nobody likes to fight. If you and your partner don’t have open conversations and have a lack communication, then your relationship will quickly take a turn for the worse and you will see each other’s ugliest side.

Relationship experts Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher are BRAVO TV’s Love Brokers and founders of Project Soulmate, a high-end New York-based matchmaking company. For more information about Project Soulmate, click here.