Cupid's Pulse Article: Should You Date Someone Going Through a Divorce?Cupid's Pulse Article: Should You Date Someone Going Through a Divorce?

By Laura Seaman

Dating someone who is divorced is one thing, but dating someone who is currently going through a divorce is another. This person is still technically married, even if it might not see it that way. Every divorce is different, though. Some couples have all out wars over anything and everything, while others decide that they’re better off as friends than partners. Some pairs have kids while others may not. If you’re considering a relationship with a person who is getting divorced, you need to know exactly what you’re getting yourself into.

1. Get clear answers on how far into the divorce they are before going any further: Every situation is unique! You can get the story from both sides of the equation, and they may be very different. One partner might say that the separation has been coming for a long time, but there’s still quite a bit to do as far as splitting up assets, while another may  say all that’s left is the paperwork. Make sure you dig in and find out all there is to know before entertaining the idea of a relationship.

Related: What Now? Transitioning From Married to Single

2. Be sure there’s not a lot of emotional baggage: While not every divorce is the same, all of them mean the same thing. This person was in love with someone else at one point, and now that relationship is over. Even if the two were fighting all the time and this divorce is seen as a relief, there’s bound to be some pain.  It’s going to take some time to heal for most people, even if they insist that they’re fine and have moved on. Don’t assume you’re the rebound, but be aware that it’s a possibility.

3. Don’t get involved in drama: Of course, your new partner isn’t the only one going through this divorce. There’s an ex in the picture, two families, and possibly some children. Divorce can cause a lot of drama, so make you’re prepared to deal with it and not add to it. If the ex is still coming around to settle things or the kids seem uncomfortable with their parent dating again, maybe now isn’t the best time for a relationship.

Related: Taking On the Role of Stepmother

4. Don’t question a good thing: Though there are many possible complications, there’s also a chance the divorce they’re going through has no issues. Some relationships are dead long before divorce is finalized. It might be a matter of paperwork, money, or just being too preoccupied with other things. In that case, don’t spoil a good thing!

It’s important to know what you’re getting yourself into before you decide on entering a relationship with someone who is still going through a divorce. Not all divorces are messy, but they are all unique. Make sure your potential partner is emotionally ready for a new relationship, and don’t set yourself up to get hurt by being a rebound. Good luck!

What do you think about dating someone while they’re going through a divorce? Let us know in the comments!