Cupid's Pulse Article: What to Do When Your Parents Hate Your PartnerCupid's Pulse Article: What to Do When Your Parents Hate Your Partner

By Brittany Stubbs

No matter how great your partner may be, when your family doesn’t get along with them, there’s going to be some serious complications. Not only does this create issues and tension in your romantic relationship, but in your relationship with your parents as well. Whether you still live at home, see your parents every weekend, or just on the holidays, you’re going to face difficulties if they’re not supportive of your significant other.

1. Consider your parents’ concerns: There’s a reason for the old saying “love is blind.” When you’re dating someone you truly care about, it’s easy to not see some of the warning signs regarding your partner or your relationship. Try and take a step back and see it from a more objective point of view. You might be surprised what a little open-mindedness can help you discover in your relationship.

On the other hand, consider if your parents’ negative opinions about your relationship actually have anything to do with your partner. Have your parents had a tendency to hate all the people you’ve been in past relationships with? If so, this might be less about who you’re dating, and more about you dating in general.

2. Discuss your parents’ concerns: It’s important you communicate with your parents. Whether you understand their reasons for disliking your partner or not, you should at least be considerate and hear out their issues and concerns. The calmer you approach the situation, the better the discussion will go. Getting down to the bottom of their reasons for disliking your partner can not only help you have a better understanding for your parents opinions, but can also help you realize what it will take to change their minds when necessary.

3. Discuss with your partner: After discussing and evaluating your parents’ issues, communicate with your partner. Despite your feelings towards your parents’ opinions, it’s important you at least share their reasons with your partner. Be open without making your partner feel attacked. Do they understand or see some truth to the concerns discussed? If your parents’ concerns are minor, is your partner willing to fix or change certain things?

Related: How to Get Over the Relationship Blues 

4. Discuss and consider the opinions of outsiders: Whether it’s a professional counselor or friends from work, it can be helpful to discuss your situation with people that are not directly involved. What is their response to your parents’ concerns and/or your significant others’ behavior? If you’re discussing with a friend who has been around your partner for a good amount of time, do they see some of the issues your parents are experiencing? Or are they fully supportive of your relationship? Considering the opinions from an outside party might help you see the situation in a new light.

Related: Do Your Friends Influence Your Relationship? 

5. Evaluate and make YOUR decision: After discussing and considering the views of everyone else, it’s time to step back and evaluate the relationship a final time for yourself. Are your parents’ issues justified? If so, can you change/fix them? If not, is your partner worth the tension that will continue to build in your relationship with your parents? Despite the opinions of your parents, partner, and friends, you have to choose what is best for you and your happiness.

What are some other things to do when your parents aren’t fans of your new partner? Comment below.