Cupid's Pulse Article: What to Do When Your Mother Doesn’t Like Your PartnerCupid's Pulse Article: What to Do When Your Mother Doesn’t Like Your Partner

By Jennifer Harrington

Relationships are tricky, and romances can become even more difficult if your mother does not approve of your significant other. Previously, Cupid explored if you should listen when your parents advise you to break-up. Let’s assume you have made the decision to stick with your partner and disregard your parents counsel to end the relationship. What happens next? You have to move forward and try to enjoy your life. Here are some tips that may help you keep the peace, if your mother doesn’t like your partner.

Focus on the positive

Your mother may not like your significant other, but that does not mean you should act like your relationship does not exist. Avoiding discussion about your partner is only going to make things more awkward as time passes. You can still share with your mom positive updates about your romance and your partner, because at the end of the day, your mom values your happiness — whether or not you are dating someone she likes. Also, your mom’s opinion about your love may change over time; some positive reinforcement from you about your guy and all of the great things he is accomplishing might help transform her view of the situation.

Related: Are You Too Young For Marriage?

Play peacekeeper

Do your best to keep the peace. Acknowledge and respect your mom’s opinion about your relationship, but don’t bring it up and try to change her mind every time you are with her. This will likely only create further conflict and frustration for everybody. Another important part of playing peacekeeper is ensuring your mom and significant other can get along when they spend time together. Think about what you can do to make both parties comfortable, and when everybody is together, do your best to minimize drama or confrontations.

Spend quality time with your mom

You had a long, meaningful relationship with your mom long before you started dating your current partner; don’t make the mistake of abandoning this very important relationship because you disagree with her opinion about this issue. Focus on other pastimes and things the two of you have always enjoyed (check out this article, if you need ideas of bonding activities). Carve out time for your mom on your calendar, and commit to spending quality time with her. It is so important to continue to enjoy her company because romances come and go, but your mother will always be just that.

Reflect on her concerns

Don’t forget that your mom only wants what is best for you. It is easy to get wrapped up in a romance, but if your mother spots red flags, you should carefully reflect upon her concerns. Your mother has more life experience than you, and has known you your whole life. If she’s vocalized her dislike of your partner, it’s crucial you take the time to process and reflect upon her analysis.

Related: 4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Married

Don’t badmouth your mother

Your mom’s issues with your relationship are likely to weigh heavily on your mind, and will probably frustrate you. After all, you adore your partner — or otherwise, you wouldn’t be dating them! No matter how wrong you feel your mother is, do not turn her into the bad guy in this situation. Resist temptation to vent about your mom to your other family members, friends and partner. Your mother has a right to her opinion, and she’s only concerned about your relationship because she loves you.

Need another perspective? Check out this article, from Your Tango, which provides another viewpoint of what to do when your parents don’t approve of your romance.

Have you ever dated someone your mother didn’t like? What are your best tips for dealing with the situation?