Cupid's Pulse Article: Don’t Settle: Get Him to CommitCupid's Pulse Article: Don’t Settle: Get Him to Commit

By David Wygant

How do you get a man to commit? This is the one million dollar question I get asked every single day.

My answer is that first off, you need to make a commitment to yourself because it all starts from knowing and loving who you are. You can’t get a man to commit until you’ve accomplished this and until you’ve worked through any relationship issues. This includes dealing with all of your past relationships and knowing exactly what makes you happy.

How can you get a man to commit if you don’t really know what makes you happy? The biggest mistake women make is that they don’t know what they want from a relationship. They don’t understand their own needs and desires. So ask yourself, what are your needs, wants, and desires?

Related Link: What Does Unconditional Love Look Like?

One of the biggest questions that I help women answer during my seminars is how do you want to be loved? You really need to think about this question. Take a moment right now and write down exactly how you want to be loved. What would it feel like to be with your perfect man? How do you want to be touched?  How do you want to be held?  How do you want to be listened to? What’s the sex like? Write down every single detail about how you want this relationship to feel in your heart, because that’s the key to understanding what type of man you want.

If you don’t figure  this out first then you’re going to end up trying to get the wrong man to commit to you because you’ll be dating men based on potential. Let me tell you, this is a huge mistake women make and they do it all the time. They think he’s going to be more loving when he stops working or that he’s going to be more attentive when he has less stress. Forget the excuses, forget what it will be like after. You need to know how you want to feel right now because that’s the most important thing in the world.

Related Link: How Not to Scare a New Man Away

So, how do you get the right guy to commit once you know these things? You satisfy his needs, wants, and desires. You find out exactly how he wants to be loved. What’s important to him? How does he like to be talked to? What’s important to him sexually? What’s important to him mentally?  What’s important to him emotionally? Then, you ask yourself can you meet those needs? Can you actually look this man right in the eyes and know that you can fulfill him and every desire he has?

A man commits to a woman when that woman fulfills his needs. One of the key things is that you need to love somebody the way they want to be loved and not the way you want to be loved. True love is allowing yourself to step outside of your boundaries. To step outside of your comfort zone and not be afraid to love them based on their needs, wants, and desires.

Related Link: Is He In It for the Long Haul?

As a man, I have no problem committing to a woman that will satisfy my needs, wants, and desires, because that’s what I want to do for her and she should expect it from me. That’s how simple this whole thing can be. That’s how easy it is. That is how you meet each other’s needs, with an open heart.

You’ll know when a guy doesn’t want to settle down with you if he’s not trying to satisfy you on all levels and if you’re constantly battling him to love you the way you want. Listen, relationships should be easy and fulfilling. You shouldn’t settle for a boyfriend that gives you anything less. After all, why would you? The next time you’re in a relationship if he’s not satisfying you then he obviously doesn’t want the same things as you. Maybe he’s not ready to be in a committed, healthy, loving relationship. And if he isn’t, why waste your time with him?

You deserve that healthy, committed, loving relationship that’s going to make your heart pound; a relationship that’s going to satisfy you; and above all a relationship that’s going to make you feel complete.

David Wygant is a dating coach and author of Always Talk to Strangers and Naked. For more relationship advice you can follow him on Twitter @DavidWygant,, or check out his website