Cupid's Pulse Article: Jill Zarin Says, “Women Can Have It All, But Not All At The Same Time”Cupid's Pulse Article: Jill Zarin Says, “Women Can Have It All, But Not All At The Same Time”

By Lori Bizzoco and Marisa Spano

America watched the zesty and talkative redhead on The Real Housewives of New York City for four seasons as she threw sophisticated parties and worked for her husband’s fabric shop. While we may not be seeing her on a feisty Bravo reunion again, she’s still making a name for herself. She took a quick break from her hectic schedule to share some advice with on how she manages to juggle it all.

Zarin is definitely one woman who seems to have figured out how to balance her family, career and social life. So we asked her opinion on one of the hottest topics in the news today: Can women really have it all? The former reality star believes that women “can” have it all but goes on to admit that “you can’t have it all at the same time.” She knows firsthand that you need to prioritize. “Maintaining a marriage is the most important thing because the truth is that children grow up and leave home.”

Related Link: Celebrity Women Who Built Business Empires With Their Husbands

As most viewers know, Zarin has a close bond with her college-aged daughter from her first marriage, Ally Shapiro, and a loving relationship with her husband, Bobby, whom she married in 2001 after five years of dating. But the Housewife tells us that having a strong marriage wasn’t always her priority. Over time, she’s learned to be mindful of her husband’s needs. “The priorities in my life are constantly moving around,” she says. “I know when Bobby doesn’t like being in the back row, so I move him quickly to the front row. He’s the first one to get a ticket. If he wants to move his seat, he can move his seat anytime he wants.”

When asked if there was other advice or tips she’d give women to help them have a successful marriage, she says that “being present” is very important. “Nowadays, relationships are so complicated by electronics. It’s difficult to sit down for dinner because you’re dying to see that text or e-mail that you’ve been waiting for.” 

Related Link: Is Your Perfect Man Criteria Keeping You Single?

Of course, when Zarin was growing up, technology was much different. Her house had only one screen: the television. Now, screens are everywhere – on computers, tablets and smart phones and in the living room, bedroom and even the car. It’s no surprise that these “screens” affected her parenting skills. “I don’t think that I was present a lot of the time for my daughter. I was home, but I wasn’t present,” she candidly admits. “My daughter would come home from school, and I’d be on the phone. My daughter would want a snack, and I’d be on the computer. I was always like, ‘Just wait one minute, one minute, one minute.'” 

She feels that technology has a big impact on dating and relationships too. “There are a lot of things that can make dating challenging, and our phones and computers are two of them,” she shares. “People are uncomfortable with verbal communication nowadays.” That’s one strict rule that Zarin has taught her daughter: don’t date through text.

Related Link: Five Reasons Why Men Text Instead of Call

Currently, Zarin is working on a relationship with herself and taking her own “spiritual journey.” One of her commitments is to be present as much as possible. This means that wherever her feet are placed, she needs to be in that moment. “If I’m at home, I shut everything off. My feet are there, and that’s where my mind needs to be too.” 

Still, the reality star doesn’t plan on slowing down anytime soon. She’ll be promoting her Skweez Couture shape wear line on QVC this month, and she’s filming an Open House segment at her new home in the Hamptons. She also has a line of beautiful baubles called Jill Zarin Jewelry Collection.

Zarin is certainly focusing on the good stuff!

For more information about Jill Zarin, follow her on, Twitter @Jillzarin, or check out her website,