Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: 7 Secrets to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Smokin’ HotCupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: 7 Secrets to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Smokin’ Hot

By Dr. Diana Kirschner

You meet a hottie and it is a glorious, soul mate relationship.  You are dreaming about an amazing future with this great match, who definitely feels like the One. The only problem is, he or she lives a long way away from where you are, and you are afraid that this will be the kiss of death for the whole relationship.

Your fear is well founded–long-distance relationships have lots of built-in obstacles.  Consider what recently happened to Michelle Williams and Jason Segel.  Jason couldn’t let go of his successful LA life to come and be with Michelle in Brooklyn.  And by most reports, this played a big role in Michelle breaking up with him because she felt that in this kind of a distant situation she simply could not commit to him.

You wonder: Just how do you keep a long-distance relationship smokin’ hot so you can have the happiest-ever-after you are dreaming about?  Here are seven secrets:

1. Bookend your days with connection.  Each morning and every night make sure you talk with your Beloved on the phone.  This will cement you in as a regular part of their day.

2. Utilize technology.  Use Skype or the phone strategically to bond with your partner and keep the spark alive.

Related: How to Find Love Online With Non-Traditional Dating Sites

3. Text or call throughout the day… so that you are in contact and talking about what is happening for each of you.

4. Take turns coming to stay with each other. During this time make sure you have a lot of fun and intimacy, which releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Over time make these visits longer so that you can see how you do as a couple when you are living together.

Related: Tips for Making a Long Distance Relationship Work

5. Be supportive. If your Beloved has a crisis, drop everything and be as supportive as possible.  Show him or her that they come first in your life.

6. Consider making a sacrifice. If the relationship is growing for a year or more in a way that feels more intimate, committed and nourishing, consider making the sacrifice of giving up the life you have in order to move in with your long-distance partner.  If you do this, take time to work out a contract about what your partner will do so that he or she is supporting you and making his or her own sacrifices to establish your new life together with the least stress possible for you.

7. Make it possible for your partner to move. If you do feel that the relationship has been developing well for a year or more, but moving in with your partner is not feasible: discuss with him or her what you would be willing to provide in terms of financial, emotional, networking, job search or other support if your partner would consider moving in with you or into housing together in your area.

When you use some of these tips, a long-distance relationship can work out to be your happiest-ever-after!  So give it a try and see if you and your Beloved can grow together despite the obstacles involved.  True lasting love is well worth it.

Dr. Diana Kirschner starred in a PBS TV Special on love. She is the best-selling author of Love in 90 Days and Find Your Soulmate Online in Six Simple Steps.  Through her unique phone/Skype free coaching program Dr. Diana has helped thousands all over the world find and keep a passionate lasting love relationship!  Her free Dating Tips & Relationship Advice newsletter is available at