By Lori Bizzoco and Rachael Moore
Although he began his career as a life coaching at the age of 17, Matthew Hussey soon became an expert in the field of love and dating. His popularity with male clients grew in the United Kingdom, but it wasn’t long before he made the transition to helping women in the UK, eventually crossing the pond to the United States. Hussey has built a platform to help women find, attract and keep their ideal match through his organization, Get The Guy. Over six million single women tune in online for his motivational seminars, and around 50,000 females attend his live events. With all of Hussey’s success, including his role on the upcoming NBC dating reality show, Ready for Love, writing a book to share his eye-opening advice seemed to be the logical next step. In his debut book, Get The Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve, out today, Hussey gives women the confidence they need to find – and keep – their soulmate.
What are some of the things you talk about in your book that help women find the right guy?
I teach them to look for a man who already has balance and is playing on their level. I let them know if they want a guy who doesn’t play games, they shouldn’t play games either. Also, it’s important to be true to yourself. If they want a guy who is confident enough to walk up to a woman and make something happen, then they need to be confident too. Like any area of life, if you don’t go out and get what you want, it won’t happen for you.
Related Link: Matthew Hussey Talks NBC’s ‘Ready for Love,’ ‘Get the Guy’ and Being a Life Coach
You’ve had a lot of success coaching men. Was there a pattern that you observed with the men who came to you for relationship help? What was their biggest challenge?
Their biggest challenge was that they weren’t being men. I realized that guys have a lot of misconceptions about girls and that men have different stages they go through when dating. The first stage is to be really nice. When they were young, that’s what their mother’s taught them. But they soon figure out that women don’t want a people pleaser; they want the guy who has an edge and might break their heart. Guys learn quickly that being nice doesn’t work.
The second stage occurs when they think they need to become a jerk or a bad guy. Women also think they want this type of guy, but what women really want is a man who is a leader, who is confident in his decision and who carries himself well. A lot of guys find it difficult to strike that balance between being nice and being a jerk.
What was it like transitioning from coaching men to coaching women?
The truth is I was terrified. I know men; I didn’t know women. Then it hit me: that was exactly how I could help them. I didn’t need to tell them about themselves; I needed to tell women about men and why they do the things that frustrate them. I worked with guys for so long, and working with the other side was so rewarding for me. It was great to see women get happier and figure things out about themselves through my coaching.
Related Link: The Most Powerful Tool to Help You Find Your Soulmate: Intuition
With the world of technology being used to find love — online dating, texting and even Facebook — women are more overwhelmed than ever. What is your number one piece of advice when it comes to technology and relationships?
People have too many options available, and relationships end up lacking depth. The problem is that as soon as we meet someone, we’re already confused about that next step. Do I text, call, Facebook or e-mail them?
Ultimately, you have to boil things down to simple truths. Wherever you engage with someone, you have to be building a connection. Everything text or typing-related is the lowest form of communication. One step above texting or typing is talking on the phone. Regardless of your initial form of communication, the goal should always be to progress to a phone call as quickly as you can.
And finally, should women initiate it if the guy doesn’t ask for her number?
Some guys won’t initiate anything. They don’t want to seem overly desperate or needy, so they try to play it cool. But then, everyone plays it cool, and you end up in this limbo of no one doing anything. Remember that someone has to make a move. You can do this by texting, “Hey, I’m free tonight – give me a call.” That way, the ball’s in his court.
To order a copy of Hussey’s new book Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve, click here. For more information about the life coach, check out his sites, Get the Guy and Matthew Hussey. You can also follow him on Facebook and Twitter. Don’t miss him on the premiere of Ready for Love tonight on NBC at 9/8c!
