Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Relationship Advice: How Not To Scare A New Man AwayCupid's Pulse Article: Expert Relationship Advice: How Not To Scare A New Man Away

By David Wygant

So you’ve got a first date with that guy who you just think is so amazing. He’s got the perfect resume. He even called you when he said he would. You’re at his place, and he’s arranged a nice dinner. Everything seems perfect.

He just might be “the one.”


First of all, let’s throw out the perfect resume, because as we all know, when it comes to dating, nobody is as perfect as his resume. Eventually, he’s going to become real, and when he becomes real, the question is: Do you still like him? But that’s not what this post is about; it’s about how to give yourself an opportunity to get to know the real him.

Related Link: Guys Edition: How To Behave Like a Gentleman

It’s probably no surprise that many women scare men away on the first date. Here are a couple of things to avoid discussing and ways to ensure that he’ll ask you out again:

1. Bash your ex. You talk about your exes like they are the worst people in the entire world. What that tells a man is that, when he becomes your ex, you’re going to destroy him just like you bash your previous boyfriends. If you must talk about your ex on the first date, talk about him in a positive way–the things you learned and how you’ve grown as a person since your relationship ended.

2. Talk about your desire for a child. Every man wants to meet the cool woman who he can just hang out with, who understands his fantasy football obsession, who will spontaneously buy a ticket to Hawaii to play in the surf and sand. Yes, you can ask him if he wants a family and kids on the first date, but what you don’t want to say is that you can’t wait to be a mom.

“I can’t wait to go to soccer practice. I can’t wait to get the mini van. I just can’t wait to be a mother.” Now, all he’s going to think about is how he can’t wait to drive that mini van away from you. Remember that he wants the cool woman. He knows that you’re a woman and that you want children, but he wants to feel like a man, not like a sperm donor. He doesn’t want a vision of life schlepping around the suburbs; instead, he wants to envision a hot and sexy beach vacation.

Related Link: Does Your Womb Have a Vacancy?

These are two tips that I tell women all of the time: stop with the bad ex talk and stop with the womb-vacancy talk. Be fun. Be cool. Be open to his suggestions. Get to know one another. And most importantly, have a good time.

It’s just a date. It’s supposed to be about getting to know one another in the present moment to see whether or not you like each other. Have fun as a couple. Grow as a couple. Allow the relationship to take off. And by doing that, you’ll be able to get past that first date and maybe onto a second one.

To find out more about David and all of his dating and relationship-building products, visit him on his website at