Cupid's Pulse Article: Nicole Kidman Says Divorce From Tom Cruise Was a ‘Shock to My System’Cupid's Pulse Article: Nicole Kidman Says Divorce From Tom Cruise Was a ‘Shock to My System’

By Jennifer Ross

With all her professional successes and a gorgeous family, Nicole Kidman is grateful for what she has. However, her life has not always been grand. In a recent interview with DuJour, Kidman speaks of the highs and lows in her life, including her painful divorce from former husband Tom Cruise. When discussing her love for Cruise, the star of upcoming movie Grace of Monaco said, “I was reeling with Tom. I would have gone to the ends of the earth for him.” At 23 years-old, she had married Cruise in 1990. Just a few months after their 10th wedding anniversary, Cruise delivered a major blow to her when he decided to separate. “It took me a very long time to heal. It was a shock to my system,” the mother of four confessed. Over time, Kidman, 45, healed from her divorce and eventually found love again in current husband Keith Urban. “I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life… My family is with me.”

What are some ways to deal with the shock of a divorce?

Cupid’s Advice:

Being shocked by divorce doesn’t necessarily mean that it happened suddenly. You may have known for some time that the marriage was deteriorating. It’s basically the final realization that it is over. There are many stages you will go through, but know one thing. Life will get better. To get you through the initial shock, here are a few tips to keep your sanity:

1. Grieving stages: First thing to realize is that you will go through all stages of grieving, sometimes repeatedly – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. While this may not relieve your pain immediately, learn each stage’s emotional responses. In doing so, you can understand yourself better and see progress as it comes.

2. Grant permission: As your life has been turned upside down, you will have more bad days than good. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself not only for the mistakes of the past, but for the mistakes you will make in the future. Remember, you are going through a divorce; you cannot expect yourself to be at your best everyday.

3. Alone time: While you may have the constant urge to keep yourself busy and surrounded with people, this can be a bad mistake. In order to heal, you must face your emotions and process them internally. The idea may sound frightening, as if your pain will consume you, but it won’t. Over time, you will learn to appreciate alone time with yourself.

How did you cope with the shock of your divorce? Comment below.