Cupid's Pulse Article: What Role Does Ambition Play In a Relationship?Cupid's Pulse Article: What Role Does Ambition Play In a Relationship?

By Steven Zangrillo

Women and men have ways of motivating each other for the greater mutual success. The need for a partner with drive and ambition is an overarching common criterion among people looking for healthy relationships. Ambition affects how we choose our partners and is an attractive quality when a person gives you the confidence that they will always be looking to improve on their successes. It begs the question of what role ambition plays in the dynamic of our relationships; how do we reconcile our need for better things? It is important to know that when ambition, positively or negatively motivated, is driving or dragging on your partnership. Here are just a few ways ambition plays a significant role in a relationship:

1. Career: This is where the prospect of ambition becomes a two-pronged situation. Ambition is a dangerous factor in the scope of a relationship — it can bring goal-oriented love birds together or it can split you in two different directions. Someone ambitious for a life as a successful writer who is dating someone ambitious for immediate success in a finance career might have a hard time making that work. Our level of ambition affects the way we make career and social choices.

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2. Finances: The whimsical notion that “love conquers all” is difficult to uphold when you have a mortgage to pay. This, of course, is different than gold digging. However, when people are looking for their potential life-long mate, they are essentially searching for someone who is, or plans to be, financially stable. In that reality, ambition walks hand in hand with how far you’re willing to take your relationship.

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3. Love: Ambition should, at the very least, determine what kind of partner you pursue. It’s unfair to pursue someone who won’t help you achieve the things for which you’re ambitious. While it isn’t someone else’s job to adjust their entire life strategy in the interest of solely supporting the life you want, you should find someone who is willing to compromise in the means of supporting both you and their endeavors. In this sense, you should also make sure that you are both following paths that are more or less on the same track. The search of lasting love, being taken care of emotionally and being loved for who you are all timeless notions. People want that, and will go to great lengths to ensure they are in an emotionally stable and healthy relationship.

There is no universal advice to be given on how ambition should define the scope of your relationship. Everyone is ambitious for different reasons — success, money, healthy love, being taken care of financially or being able to provide. How that ambition affects the steps you take together is up to you. Don’t put yourself in a position to be disappointed. Above all, the things that we are ambitious for determine the arc of our life paths; so, if you’re ambitious for happiness you’ll never fall short.

What role does ambition play in your relationship? Share your comments below.