Cupid's Pulse Article: Four Steps for Stress Free DatingCupid's Pulse Article: Four Steps for Stress Free Dating

By Dr. Tranquility — Lydia Belton, PhD, Ct. H.A.

Everybody experiences some anxiety in dating, whether it’s simple butterflies or anticipatory anxiety. Even a super stars like Russell Brand believe that we can find our soulmate and learn to relax through meditation.  Meditation and relaxation exercises, major areas of my practice, all help to reduce anxiety. But for most of us, all we need is to follow a few simple steps to have a stress-free experience:

Related: Reduce Stress and Maximize Romance

Step 1: Prepare. If this is going to be your first date, take time for a “get to know you” phone call before you set out. Find out what hobbies your date enjoys, whether or not their primary focus is work, and explore common interests. Bring up current events and ask for their opinion. This will stimulate conversation on the date and allow you to get to know one another better.

Step 2: Plan Your Outfit. Ladies, you will feel much better if you are not hiking in stilettos. Guys, wouldn’t it be great to know that you are going to need a tie and coat before you get there?  We all like a surprise, but let’s get real. Jennifer Lopez always knows where she is going and how to dress appropriately. You will both have a much better time with each other if you’re comfortable.

Step 3: Be Confident in You. People who are confident and comfortable in themselves are attractive, because they are at ease  — not stressed!  So, take the time to be comfortable and confident; give yourself time for hair, make-up and nails. Pick out what you are going to wear in advance, and make your favorite outfit suitable for where you are going. The same thing goes for the guys, as both of you should amaze each other. Have fun channeling your inner Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie.  It’s better for both of you when you feel as good as you look! Here is a little secret: have some strawberries and a bit of chocolate before you go, because they kick up the positive-relationship-brain chemistry, and your date will notice it in your eyes.

Related: Relax With a Spa Day at Home

Step 4: Just Breathe. Dating with tranquility means dating without stress. This really comes down to a little pre-planning, a bit of self-confidence and investing some time. Is your date the person you’ve been searching for, or maybe the person with whom you’ll spend the rest of your life? It’s too early to tell, so relax and have a good time. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so allow yourself to live in the moment and remember — you are wonderful.

Developed by Lydia Belton PhD, Ct.H.A. of, Date Therapy® is an effective protocol that helps people get in touch with their criteria for an ideal mate. DrTranquility’s protocols® have been featured most recently on & Yahoo,, ABC’s the View, KISS FM,, Metromix for the Chicago Tribune, British Glamour, REDBOOK, Cosmopolitan Magazine & promoted by