Cupid's Pulse Article: The Real Reason He Didn’t Call You BackCupid's Pulse Article: The Real Reason He Didn’t Call You Back

By David Wygant

So you went out on a great date, or what you assumed was a great date. You did everything right. You were flirting. You wore the right outfit. The shirt was low-cut, but not too low-cut. The jeans fit nicely on you. You smelled great. You smiled. You told him you had a good time. You made yourself available, open and honest. When you got home, you called one of your friends. You told her what a great time you had and that you were eager to see him again.

The very next day, you expected the phone call. You thought to yourself, “I know he’s going to call. He had a good time. He looked at me at the end. Everything seemed perfect.”

But … the day passed, and the phone never rang. You checked your e-mail that night thinking he might have emailed you–he didn’t. The following day, you called your friends about it, reviewed the entire date, everything you said, trying to figure out what his reactions were, and maybe–just maybe–what you said or did that turned him off. You engaged the troops, and that was your first major mistake.

Related: Five Steps to Turn a Date Into a Relationship

Oh, I’m sure the conversation was good. You got to obsess for a week about why he didn’t call back, because as a woman, you just need to know why he didn’t call. You thought he had fun, and you start reviewing the date again, and again, and again.

You’re obsessed. And why? You’re obsessing over one date, one coffee, one drink, one dinner–that’s all it was. So, he didn’t call back. And you want to know the real reason why? He didn’t feel like calling you back. He didn’t like you the way you wanted to be liked. He made a choice. His choice was not to call you back. His choice was to move forward and to go find somebody else for whom he is better suited.

You’ve done it to plenty of men in your life. You don’t seem to obsess over not calling them back when you don’t want to call them, or when you didn’t want to see them again. In life, we have choices. Just because he wasn’t interested doesn’t mean that you’re not a great, wonderful, fantastic, sexy, beautiful, incredible woman. It just means that he chose to go another direction. But when you go and you spend all this time and energy thinking about it, what you’re doing is you’re not allowing yourself to meet somebody else.

Related: Five Conversations to Avoid on the First Date

Here’s the deal: if he doesn’t call back within 48 hours, forget about him. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong, so stop driving all your friends nuts. As a friend, it’s so boring to hear you obsess over someone for two weeks.

When a client asks me why someone didn’t call them back, I say, “Give me their number; I’ll ask them.” The time that you waste trying to figure out why he didn’t call back is time wasted not meeting other men–not meeting men who want to be with you.

So, get out of your head. You’ve got 48 hours. If he doesn’t call you, move on. Live an abundant dating lifestyle instead of a crazed, lunatic lifestyle.

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author of the new book Naked and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching and his website,, his advice has transformed the dating lives and relationships of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe.