Cupid's Pulse Article: How to Get Back Into the Dating Scene After DivorceCupid's Pulse Article: How to Get Back Into the Dating Scene After Divorce

By Nicola Winters

Divorce is on the rise.  We all know it and we all, at some point in our lives, have been a part of it.  But whilst Kim Kardashian may not be able to relate to the below experience, maybe you will.

After a lengthy marriage, a person’s confidence is lacking and the thought of getting back out onto the dating scene is daunting.  It might not be so hard for Kim Kardashian or Jennifer Lopez to find themselves a new man after the ordeal of a divorce, but it’s not so easy for the likes of us non-celebrities.  72 days has nothing on 30 years, four children and a mortgage, and that’s not to mention the few extra pounds you may have gained along the way.

We all don’t want to be gossiped about like former singleton Jennifer Anniston, so to ensure that doesn’t happen, follow these steps to restore your confidence in both yourself and the opposite sex:

It’s important to take care of yourself: Now is your chance to look after number one.  Join a gym or exercise class.  Not only will you meet new friends, but you will also feel better about yourself, inside and out.

Develop new hobbies: Engage in activities that you never had chance to before.  By developing a new hobby, you will automatically find that you have something new to talk about and new people to discuss it with.  However, if new isn’t really you, and you aren’t that susceptible to change, then why not re-visit an old hobby?  Work, home and family commitments can get in the way of enjoyment. Now is the chance to re-kindle that special love with a particular activity or past time.

Be true to yourself: Remember that you are more likely to meet someone special at a place of genuine interest.  Ever wondered why actors are dating actresses, models are dating designers and footballers are dating….well….whoever really?  You’re not going to find the man of your dreams on the dance floor of a packed nightclub if clubbing really isn’t your thing.

Related: Five Reasons Why Opposites Attract

Don’t rush things. Finally, and probably the most important point of all, is to take your time.  Don’t expect to jump into another long-term relationship immediately.  Take the time to learn about yourself before committing to another.  It’s almost too easy to rely on another person and sometimes even string them along.  Cheryl Cole was never really serious about Derek Hough; she was simply grieving for a past love.  Not only is it unfair on them, but on you as well.

Divorce can be a really awful experience for any person (including celebrities). But back here in the real world, we can’t rely on lavish parties, celebrities’ ceremonies and movie premieres to get us back out again. We have to rely on ourselves. So keep busy, look after yourself and make the most of the support network you already have.

This is a guest post by Nicola Winters on behalf of Panonne, the divorce specialists.