Cupid's Pulse Article: Do’s and Don’ts of Flirtexting and SextingCupid's Pulse Article: Do’s and Don’ts of Flirtexting and Sexting

By Olivia Baniuszewicz and Debra Goldstein

We were eating dinner the other night with our best guy friend, and the topic turned to sexting.  Not too soon after, he handed us his cell phone to show us close to a hundred naked photos of different girls.  Can you believe he actually created a folder on his phone to archive them because there were so many?  Sigh.  Anyways, all of these girls sent him photos for one reason and one reason alone …because he asked.  He didn’t think twice about showing them to us nor is he shy about sharing them with his boys.

Ladies, we don’t particularly want to see your privates on our friend’s phone, in the news (yes, you Andrew Weiner, Blake Lively, Vanessa Hudgens…) or anywhere else for that matter.  We thought a nice refresher on some do’s and don’ts of sexting may be just what we all need to keep our privates, well, private.

What is Flirtexting?
Flirtexting is what you do in the beginning stages of a relationship to build a connection.

What is Sexting?
Sexting is sending suggestive flirtexts that are bold and blunt and used to spice up an existing relationship.


– Sexts should be used by mature adults in a committed relationship to avoid risky backlash
– Stay classy by sending simple sexts telling him what you want to do when you see him later, or what you plan on wearing
– Use the casual and safe environment of text to forgo shyness by sexting to reveal your fantasies
– Spark fire in a long distance relationship with an exciting bedtime sext
– Send a flirtext to spice up an existing relationship during work
– Less is more, send sexy photos of new lingerie or a picture of your legs to get him aroused


– Never include your face in a naked photo text.
– Avoid your kids seeing these photos by deleting them immediately from your phone after sending them.
– Don’t reveal everything in a text message exchange, leave him wanting more.
– Stay away from racy photos unless you’re in a serious relationship to avoid unwanted leaks and criticism.

You Should Know:

– Guys have said that they will often test girls by sending them a sext to see how they will respond.
– Nothing is going to happen if you refuse to take it all off for a sext, except for maybe gaining more respect from the person asking you for it.
– Unlike phone sex, you don’t need to be anywhere private to send a sexy text.

Flirtexting: How to Text Your Way into his Heart is a dating guide that spells out the rules, the guidelines and the do’s and don’ts of the dating phenomenon of flirting over text message. “We date, therefore we text,” was Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz’s motto and inspiration for writing Flirtexting. Once guys stopped calling and started courting them over text, they decided to equip themselves, their friends, and the greater cell carrying public, with the tools to cleverly respond to get what they want.