Cupid's Pulse Article: Ali Fedotowsky: Stay-At-Home-Mom Not in Future PlansCupid's Pulse Article: Ali Fedotowsky: Stay-At-Home-Mom Not in Future Plans

(Spoiler alert!) Last week on ABC’s The Bachelorette, a competitive reality dating game show, Ali Fedotowsky, had a one-on-one date with contestant Ty.  She found out he ended his previous marriage because his ex-wife worked, and he was looking for a traditional stay-at-home mom.  Traditional is something that Ali is certainly not.  “I imagine a lot of the women cringed when they heard Ty make the comment about women being presidents of companies,” Fedotowsky told Reality TV Calender last week. “Ha ha. Trust me, I cringed too.”  Ty ended up being eliminated last night – Ali was still concerned about his traditional values.

What should you do if you’re dating a man who expects a “traditional” wife, and you are anything but?

Cupid’s Advice:

While more women opt to work and pursue a career than be a stay-at-home mom, many men still expect a 1950’s housewife.  Here’s Cupid’s take on dealing with this outdated stereotype:

1. Talk before you walk: Make sure you’re both clear with what you are looking for from the other person.  Also, consider that some men look at women working as a loss of power.  In the book Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family, the author says many men who want a traditional wife think that a woman earning more money threatens their masculinity, and their status as head of the household.

2. Think of the kids: According to family therapist Gayle Peterson, studies show that children who have working mothers tend to have higher self-esteem, since working mothers feel happier with themselves, and those good feelings spread to family members.  Also, some families might need that two person income to provide for the children.

3. Figure out work/life balance: Talk with your partner to figure out the best way to balance work and house duties.  Map out schedules and share responsibility.