Cupid's Pulse Article: The Dating Double StandardCupid's Pulse Article: The Dating Double Standard

By High Yield Hottie

Ever thrown a drink in a man’s face because he said something piggish?  I have (and highly recommend it).  However, while recently out to dinner with a male friend – let’s call him Master Key – I curbed my natural reflex and listened to what he had to say.  As we cocktailed, our conversation turned to how many intimate partners were acceptable for men and women in this day and age.  Master Key crudely summed it up as follows:

“It’s a key/lock situation.  Well, a man is naturally the key.  The woman is the lock.  A key that opens many different locks is an amazing key.  But a lock that is opened by many different keys isn’t worth anything at all.”

Cue my desire to give him a martini facial and poke his eyes out with the plastic olive skewer.

Yet despite my disgust for his sexist point of view, he has a point.  While women have been tirelessly shattering glass ceilings and income bracket double standards professionally, there’s one area where the double standard seems to persist, and that’s in dating.  Even as adult women, in the eyes of many men (and women, too), we’re still held to the binary categorization of “slut” or “nice girl.”  So what’s a gal like you to do with this infuriating double standard?  Take a cue from some of our celebrity friends and choose to own it, call it out, hide it or accept it.

1. Own It: In the words of Rihanna, “I might be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it!”  You’re comfortable with your sexploits and prefer to flaunt them.

Ex. Madonna: Not only was she the “material girl,” but she was the ultimate alpha female.  She embraced her sexuality and made a whole career out of it, which has since been emulated by many.

2. Call It Out: Not quite rising to the level of an “Own It” woman, you operate in a gray area between “nice girl” and “slut.”  You prefer to fight the double standard with verbal double entendres, rather than with double Ds in people’s faces.

Ex. LeAnn Rimes: Labeled a home wrecker, she spoke out against this double standard.  While I certainly don’t approve of dating a married man, her comments are right on the mark; a cheatin’ woman is always lambasted more than a cheatin’ man.  This woman might slink around, but she never slinks away in silence.

3. Hide It: This woman seems to be your classic “nice girl” on the surface, put together and demure looking.  While she might not show her naughtiness to the world, someone has seen it.  There might even be irrefutable proof!

Ex. Natalie Portman: Knocked up.  Is there any other way to say it?  Despite her good girl image, she shocked us when she got herself prego (sans ring) with her Black Swan co-star.

4. Accept It: If you can’t beat ’em, follow along.  You’re the type of woman who adheres to the Sandra D 1950’s nice girl code: “Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers!”

Ex. Jessica Simpson (well, before Nick Lachey): She took Master Key’s lock/key theory to heart and kept her own lock key-less until marriage.

While Master Key may disagree, there’s no universal right choice when it comes to how you feel about the dating double standard and how many keys unlock your lock!

High Yield Hottie is an independent (and sometimes intimidating) woman.  Originally from a flyover city in the Midwestern United States, she now lives in a major metropolitan city and has spent the last decade pursuing both her romantic and career goals.  Her blog, Six Figure Siren, explores dating as a successful professional woman. You can friend Six Figure Siren on Facebook or follow her on Twitter: @SixFigureSiren.