By Robert Manni
Question from Amy K. San Jose, CA: “I’ve been wondering lately if my boyfriend really loves me. We haven’t been together that long, but how do I know things are serious? How do I know he REALLY likes me? Thanks, Robert!”
Is your relationship serious?
Hi Amy:
With all the activity taking place in our lives, occasionally we slip into the dreaded “self-doubt” zone, whether it is about love, work, or who we are and our value as a human beings. Before tackling your specific question about love, always remind yourself that you’re a divine being deserving of love.
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Concerning your sense of doubt about your boyfriend’s feelings, start by asking yourself why you feel this way. Is your intuition telling you he does not share the same feelings for you as you have for him? Or, is he not as emotionally available as you’d like and you simply want him to be more open about his feelings. If that’s the case, ask yourself why he’s not more open about expressing himself. Whatever the case, it sounds like you need reassurances concerning his feelings.
My advice? Ask him straight up how he feels about the relationship. Pay attention to the signals he provides in his response, both verbal and non-verbal. For example, if he’s unsure about his feelings, he will probably act unsure when responding. You can also ask if he loves you, assuming that you have expressed this previously and simply need reassurance. If you have not had the “are we in love” conversation, that’s a different story, but there is no reason why you should hold back on having this conversation. When couples are in the right relationship, it’s easy talking about anything with their partner. Again, when someone is uncomfortable expressing their feelings, it’s usually because they’re unsure about how they feel.
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As a guy, I can tell you that when a man is happy in a relationship, he doesn’t say much about it. He simply enjoys being with his partner and it usually shows. When dudes have an issue on their mind, they usually bring it up to find out how their partner feels. Unfortunately, many guys (and women) who are unsure about their feelings often stay in relationships. It’s not a good thing, but it often happens, so it’s good to check in on how he is feeling on a regular basis.
The bottom line is if you want a sense of your partner’s feelings, have the conversation, but do it in a casual way. When people, and guys in particular, feel cornered, they get defensive. That said, it’s your right to know how he feels, and regardless of the response, it’s always better to get to the truth. After all, the truth, for better or worse, will set you free.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
Guy’s Guy
Robert Manni
Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.
His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.
Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by DatingAdvice.com.
Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.
Read more at Cupid’s.
