By Robert Manni
Question from Mia B: Talking about exes with a new partner is important. How do you know when it’s the right time to bring up your past and how much information should you share?
Dating Advice: What You Should Tell Your New Partner About Your Ex
I have a theory about exes. By definition, they are no longer involved in your love life and there are reasons why. Every relationship is different, but if you see a pattern of the same issues cropping up relationship after relationship, it’s time to look inside and ask yourself if you are doing something to invite the same circumstances into your life. There is nothing wrong with a relationship that does not work out long-term. Breaking things off does not mean it was a failure. The way I looked at breakups is we had our time together and we moved on. In the long run, when you look back, it’s almost always a good thing that you moved on.
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The point is, exes are exes for a reason. It is not necessary to discuss them and past relationships in detail. It’s always better to start a new relationship or even a first date as a fresh start without baggage. If for whoever reason you need to discuss or rehash details of past relationships and why things did not work out, keep it short, be positive, and don’t play the blame game. There is no bigger buzz kill to potential suitors than listening to a new partner trash their ex. Everyone who hears this will put themselves in the position of the ex and wonder if they will be judged the same way.
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Of course we all have a past, but my advice is to tread carefully when discussing former partners. You’ll get better results by focusing on your new thing and the lessons learned from past relationships that went south.
Good luck.
Robert Manni
If you would like relationship expert Robert Manni to answer your online dating/relationship questions, please email lori@cupidspulse.com.
More about the Guy’s Guy:
Robert is the host of Guy’s Guy Radio, featured on Blog Talk Radio and available on iTunes, Stitcher, and TuneIn. The weekly podcast features interviews with relationship coaches, entertainers, authors, wellness experts, spiritual teachers, sports personalities, and a weekly “Guys’ Guy’s Guide” exploring current guy-focused topics.
His novel, THE GUYS’ GUY’S GUIDE TO LOVE, praised as the “Men’s successor to Sex and the City,” has been developed into two feature-length adapted screenplays, a scripted television series (pilot and treatment), and a series of non-scripted Guy’s Guy show concepts.
Robert has appeared on broadcast television (NBC’s Morning Blend, WPIX11 Morning News) and is a frequent guest across a spectrum of satellite, terrestrial, and web-based radio programs and podcasts, as well as a contributor to Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, Cupid’s Pulse, GalTime, is a featured expert on GoodMenProject and YourTango. He was also named a Top Dating Blogger by DatingAdvice.com.
Robert developed the Guy’s Guy Platform to help men and women better understand each other and bridge the growing communication gap between the sexes. He continually creates a fresh, robust palette of timely Guy’s Guy content focused on life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s navigating the challenges of dating, relationships, friendship, career or wellness, Robert explores ways to help both men and women be at their best so that everybody wins.
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