Cupid's Pulse Article: Do We Sleep Differently When in Love?Cupid's Pulse Article: Do We Sleep Differently When in Love?

Love is one of those things that cannot be summed up in a few words or a couple of sentences. If you surveyed 100 people, each one would have a different definition of what love actually means to them and how they experience that love. Love is an unspoken bond between two people that can survive through even the harshest circumstances when strong enough.

Does the “can’t-eat-can’t-sleep kind of love” affect how we sleep?

Now we’ve all heard the phrase “can’t eat-can’t sleep kind of love” dubbed by Diane Barrows. But do people in love truly sleep differently? Let’s explore the connection between our sleep patterns and love.

Sleep and Love

When a person falls in love, the emotions that one experiences can range from elation to anxiety. Researchers have studied and compared lovelorn actions to symptoms similar to that of a cocaine high: elation and energy without much appetite or need for sleep. The early stages of love can interrupt sleep patterns when a person is experiencing a euphoric high of emotion causing a disruption to their sleep. People can also experience a higher level of anxiety while being separated from their new found love and find themselves consumed with continuous thoughts of them. This can interrupt your daily routine as well and affect your performance in the workplace. A person in a newfound relationship will not want to miss a second with their partner and dismiss sleep as unimportant. A newfound sexual awakening can also keep you up at night because you begin to associate your bed with more than a sleeping area and instead a playground for intimate fun.

At the beginning of the relationship, you will function normally or even at a greater potential on a lesser amount of sleep due to the high level of positive emotions and influx of hormones. Eventually, as the relationship grows stronger through time, one relaxes into it more, gaining a greater confidence in the long-term potential. The Lack of sleep will catch up with your body and mind. A person needs sleep and food to fuel the body and help maintain a healthy mental, emotional and physical state.

Your Partner’s Sleeping Patterns

Your partner’s sleeping patterns can also affect both your natural and scheduled sleep cycle, or in fact, your entire bedtime routine. Perhaps you are a morning person, preferring to retire for the night in the early nighttime hours, rising with the sun whereas your partner is night owl and would prefer to go to bed later in the night, rising in the mid-morning or afternoon. If you are used to and physically attuned to a routine bedtime, any sudden changes can create a disruption in your mind and body. You might enjoy a quiet read before bed or complete darkness in the room and your partner needs a source of white noise such as the TV which also creates light. You find yourself wanting to match your partner’s routines and it can take months or even years to fully adjust both physically and mentally to the changes.

Preferred Mattress and Bedding

It might seem like a strange concept, but even the mattress and accessories you chose to sleep on versus your partners’ can interrupt your sleep. You might find greater rewards when sleeping on a firmer innerspring coil mattress with a light comforter and one firm pillow. Your partner on the other hand, prefers a memory foam mattress with a heavy duvet surrounded by pillows of various sizes and thickness. This can cause a friction in the relationship, creating stress, which in turn leads to a lack of sleep due to the brain in a hyped-up state.

Thankfully to modern technology and innovative design techniques, this stress doesn’t have to mean an end to the relationship or that you and your partner are doomed to have separate bedrooms for the duration of the relationship. Manufacturers have developed a type of mattress that combines an innerspring coil with a memory foam mattress to deliver both technologies. Manufacturers called this design the hybrid. If a mattress such as this interests you or your partner, The Sleep Judge has compiled a list of the best hybrid mattresses available today.


So, do we really sleep differently when in love? I think the answer is yes! Sleep is a major component of who we are as human beings, but it can be fragile and upsets can occur with little provocation. Sleep aids the body in healing, relaxation and reduced mood swings. Love can also show all of these morale boosting emotions. There is a quote that states “One of the most beautiful things is falling asleep with someone you love, holding them, and feeling perfectly safe”. Have an open communication with your sleep partner about sleep habits and make minor adjustments where necessary will aid the person in becoming accustomed to opposite routines.