By Megan Weks
You’ve been navigating the sea of men on the dating apps for months. You’ve been on at least 10 bad dates, and a few okay ones. You’ve been ghosted by the ones you actually liked. So now that you’ve finally met a good guy and it’s snowballing into something REAL, you’re overflowing with joy, relief, and maybe a little bit of nerves. You don’t want him to fade away like others have in the past. So, you worry, “How can I keep him around?”
With these tools in your box, you’ll be able to land your man and keep him for life. Here’s some relationship advice:
The number one tip to keep in mind is that you must work on your personal sense of worthiness. This might seem obvious, but it’s the primary thing women need to work on to maintain successful relationships. All of our behaviors that are perceived as turn-offs to men come down to our internalized level of worthiness.
Related Link: Five Ways To Get His Undivided Attention
You developed your sense of worthiness when you were a kid. We all naturally input selective information, which can either work for us or against us. It works whichever way we choose (or subconsciously choose), based on a belief from the past. For example, if you had brothers who told you that you were not lovable or unattractive when you were a little girl, you may have continued to believe the lies that you internalized then. Even after you grow into an undeniable foxette, a deep belief may linger that your beauty is only a mirage. No one is exempt from this. Even the gorgeous Jennifer Lopez feels unworthy of true love. According to E! News, she said, “It’s how you feel as a child, being a middle child and seeming invisible sometimes, and trying to get attention. This is still a work in progress for me.”
There are six ways you’re showing him you’re unworthy. Why not keep him instead?
1. Being over-accommodating to your man. Making the relationship easier or more convenient for him. Going out of your way for him frequently. Being overly complimentary.
2. Feeling guilty, or having a sense of owing him when he does nice things for you. Being unable to receive his offerings without reciprocating.
3. Over-giving and care-taking him. Finding men that need fixing and trying to solve their problems. Becoming his therapist, giving business, career, psychological advice, etc.
4. Being jealous, doubting his feelings or intentions, and seeking constant reassurance. Becoming overly concerned with his previous relationships, even though they’re over.
5. Feeling unworthy of his admiration, and wondering why he likes you. Feeling like you’re not enough. Comparing yourself to his exes. Making up excuses for why he could not like a person like you.
6. Rushing into a relationship before it’s determined to be an ideal fit for your life. Also, staying in the relationship when your needs aren’t being met.
If you are signaling these behaviors frequently, he’ll catch wind that you’re doubting your worthiness inside the relationship. Even if he knows that you’re a catch, his mind will have a hard time fighting off the messages you’re sending, and he’ll eventually conclude that you’re not worthy of his love! If you want to keep this great man you’ve found, you’ll need to break through to your deep inner belief system to make sure you truly believe that you’re worthy of his love.
Related Link: Relationship Advice: 4 Ways to Keep Your Long-Term Relationship Hot this Summer
Listen to the voices inside that tell you hopeful things about yourself. Those are your truths. Ignore the negative things. To make lasting change on your inner beliefs, you need to tell yourself you’re worthy, all the time. Make it your new mantra. Eventually, you’re going to believe it deep down inside. We are all here to love and be loved. He sees all of those hopeful things that you believe about yourself. Don’t lose sight of that important fact.
Megan Weks is an international dating and relationship expert who specializes in helping women get the admiration they deserve from men, and to keep it. She is a certified specialist in her field, but one of her biggest credentials is her personal story. Living in New York City for over a decade, Megan has had the opportunity to meet and date many different men. Through working with a relationship guru, she literally changed from crumb-picking and obsessing over men who didn’t deserve her, to being called a “man whisperer” who men (including her now-husband) would never leave. Megan’s career is devoted to helping women who struggle with the men in their lives, to turn it all around and keep the men they desire. Aside from her coaching practice of saving hearts, She writes a monthly love column for LVBX Magazine and runs a private online woman’s discussion group where women are supported with these principles.
