By David Wygant
So you’re under the influence of an amazing woman. You’re thinking about popping the question. All you think about is the future. You think about the love that you’re sharing. You think she’s the one for you. Before you run off to pop that question, it’s time you start smelling the sausages. Yes, sausages. You see, women need to smell the roses, men need to smell the sausages. Let’s bring you back into reality with a real stinky, smelly, greasy, Italian Sausage that you get from the street fair. Before I go on, I need to warn you that I’m about to give you some hard hitting relationship advice. It’s going to hopefully wake you back into reality, and give you an opportunity to make the right decision.
Relationship Advice That Will Help You Figure Out If You’re Ready For Marriage
Marriage is not something you take lightly. It’s not something you rush into, as the great Elvis Presley song Fools Rush In has pointed out. Despite being a relationship expert, in my life I’ve been married a few times. Every single time I got married, I was a fool — like in Elvis’s song — and I always rushed in. I was rushing in based on a story I had. I had to marry her. I wanted to marry her. I’d never been so in love. Yet, I barely knew her… I don’t want you to go through what I went through. Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you could possibly make, because from marriage, comes many different things: a lifetime partner (potentially), with children. And here comes the sausage part of it all — the mother of your children is the woman whose going to take half your money if it doesn’t work out. Oh yeah, I had to throw that last bit in there because that is the truth. Make the wrong decision, and all of the sudden your bank account, and everything you’ve ever worked for in your entire life, will go to somebody else. And if that doesn’t scare you, maybe this will. The woman that you’re so in love with right now, that you think you want to marry, will turn on you most likely. And most likely use your children as a way to manipulate things. Now this may not happen. You may have a future where divorce is amicable. She may not ask for all your money, and she may actually support a great father/daughter, father/son relationship. But I bring these subjects up because when you’re under the influence of a new woman, and your under the influence of thinking you’re going to marry somebody, somebody has to slap you across the virtual face, and wake you up from the fog that you’re in.
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So now that I’ve scared you, and have given you some sort of reality check, I want to talk about when you should pop the question. What I’m about to tell you is probably, oh good <?>, it’s an all conventional dating tip. But I think you need to go through eight seasons with this woman. The seasons don’t consist of the NFL, the Baseball or the Basketball season. The seasons consist of two Winters. Two Springs. Two Summers. And two Falls. You need to see this person in everyday situations, over and over, and over again. You see, if you’re in some type of fog from the beginning of the relationship, you’re most likely hanging out with her representative. The well behaved version of herself. You need to see somebody in all situations. How they handle adversity. How they handle conflict. How they handle life stuff that comes up. How they handle work stuff. You need to spend as much time with this person, you’re evaluating them. Talk about how life is going to be when you get married. Talk about the style of parenting you’re looking to do. And yes, you should absolutely discuss parenting style before having kids. Here’s another thing, if you’re going to be with somebody, they need to match your parenting style. If you haven’t thought about parenting styles, then you might just be under the fog of getting married. These are all important things you need to consider when you are thinking of popping the question. There’s no rush.
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A great relationship builds. You want a best friend. A best friend you can rely on for life. You want somebody who knows you inside and out, so you, not only can feel safe around them, but they can feel safe around you. You need to have an amazing communication relationship between the two of you. These are just some of the things you need to think about before you go nuts, and marry somebody before you’re ready. If you do, your partnership will be plagued with relationship problems. So I repeat, there is no rush! This is the biggest decision of your life! This is the potential mother of your children. This is the woman you’re going to share your bed with. Hopefully for the remainder of your life. So take your time. Get to know her. Make a decision based on not pure emotion, but on pure reality.
David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship expert, author of the book Naked, and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching, and his website, his love advice has transformed the relationships and love of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe.Â
For more expert relationship advice from David, click here.
