Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice: 5 Reasons Why Men Text Instead of CallCupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice: 5 Reasons Why Men Text Instead of Call

By Jessica DeRubbo

“Wanna go out tonight?” may be a simple text that most men feel is harmless, but it’s something that drives women nuts. What happened to the days of in-person conversations, or perhaps picking up the phone and calling, so you can get to know people, hear their voices, and truly sense how they are feeling? It seems that texting is no longer a trend and has become the norm, and it is getting on the nerves of women everywhere!

The question is, “Why do men text instead of call?” Cupid did some digging for dating advice, and here are five iron-clad reasons:

1. It’s quick and easy: If it comes to simple things like what time the two of you are meeting up, or where to go for dinner, shooting off a text takes a lot less time and effort than an actual phone call. Julie Spira, creator of, agreed with this idea, saying that many men are busy executives and don’t have time to hold an over-the-phone conversation. Sending a text takes less than a minute. Also, it takes away some of the pressure of having to come up with a plan instantly, since through texting, you have time to sit and think about what to type, as opposed to an awkward silence over the phone.

Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: What Does Texting On A Date Say To Your Partner?

2. They are copying women: A few men gave Cupid their opinions on why they opt to text now-a-days rather than calling, and a common response we received was that they are simply following what they see women do. Dan Nainan, a comedian/actor, claims that it seems like the only way to ask women out is through text messaging, because no one wants to talk on the phone anymore. So, if guys are copying what they are seeing, maybe women need to stop sending the wrong message, and start picking up the phone once in a while instead of sending a text.

3. Fear of rejection: Just like women, men fear rejection, and what’s more embarrassing than making the effort to pick up the phone and call a girl, just to be turned down? Many women seem to forget how intimidating dating is, especially for guys. Dr. Zach Hill, of, explained, saying, “Dating can be intimidating, and hiding behind the screen of a cell phone makes conversations less intimidating. Telephone calls with someone you are not comfortable with just yet are just as intimidating. When you text someone, you have time to think about what you are going to say, how you are going to word it, and you have the advantage of looking it over to make sure everything sounds right. Whereas when you make a phone call, you are put on the spot to speak, and the idea of fumbling your words, saying the wrong thing, speaking too fast or slow, or any other option that may make you appear like an “idiot” is much more probable.” I guess when you see it from this perspective, women can get a sense of why men do text instead of call.

Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: Is It Appropriate to Play Hard to Get Via Texting?

4. They don’t know it bothers you: If you allow men to continue texting, and you don’t say anything about it, then why would they feel anything needs to change? There are easy ways to get your point across, without being too direct. Carole Lieberman M.D, a psychiatrist, says that in order to have your guy call instead of text, simply respond to their text with something cute like, “Hey, would love to hear your voice, give me a call.” This will give men the confidence to pick up the phone and actually call.

5. Men think it’s okay to text: Because texting has become such a common part of everyday life, men have started to think it’s fine to just text women instead of calling. Dave Grossman, of, says, :In this era of text messaging, men have decided it’s OK to text the women they are dating,” and he even admits to doing this himself, but has now become more cautious of it. It’s hard to break a habit that has become a part of everyday life, so women need to try to break men from this habit by showing them how much more personal a phone call can be.

Why do you think men choose to text instead of call? Share your thoughts with us below!