By Robert Manni
Although some argue against it, there are studies that show the phenomenon known as “love at first sight” is possible. Partially because we are all connected at a spiritual level, it can be argued that people can actually “know” someone almost instantly, including if they are a good fit for them. But others say that we need to know someone through their actions first before truly falling in love. I think a combination of those intense beginning feelings and the gradual reveal of the person melding with those passionate first impressions makes a case for love at first sight. Remember, modern dating and relationships can be tricky, so heed the following relationship advice on taking additional steps to validate our initial reactions saves yourself from heartache later.
Relationship advice for guys on, “Love at first sight.” Does it exist?
It’s no surprise that men are more visually stimulated than women when it comes to attraction. Frequently, men mistake “lust” or “infatuation at first sight” for love, only to have buyer’s remorse when the woman does not live up to their fantasies. But, there is a silver lining. Both men and women can experience love at first sight— it just might not be exactly what they expected. The discussions I’ve had with women on this topic reveal that for them, love at first sight is more of a process with layers that unfold quickly. Although they may not get an overpowering visceral reaction to a guy instantaneously; what he says, how he looks, his energy, confidence, and how she feels around him all create the possibility for love. This process occurs rapidly in a case of “love at first sight,” and can also work for a guy, especially if he has created the space in his heart for new love while also taking the time to look beyond a woman’s looks. That’s how it happened when I met the woman who became my wife. On the relationship advice of her sister, she signed up for a three-day trial on a popular dating site. She posted a late night selfie without any makeup and winked at me because she liked what I had written on my profile. At the time I’d been happily dating up a storm online and was going to take a pass. But, there was a beautiful simplicity about her in that photo, and especially in her eyes. I studied her face and then re-read her profile. Hers was more of a “hey, this is what I’ve been doing,” instead of the many packaged profiles I’d seen that were built to sell. So, I decided to write back.
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After a few short emails we agreed to have a date night. We met at the corner of West 79th and Broadway in Manhattan. I arrived first and climbed the steps of a church so I could keep my eyes out for her. When I looked across the street the first person I laid eyes on was a very pretty lady in a green and white summer dress. I knew this was her, and I could not take my eyes off of her as she gracefully approached the church. I was pleasantly surprised because she was even better looking in person than in the photo she’d posted online. I met her halfway as she crossed the street and without thinking hugged her. She reciprocated with a curious smile. As we walked towards the 79th Boat Basin, I took her hand and she accepted mine with a welcoming clasp. All of this felt very natural. Was it love at first sight? Maybe. It sure was a nice beginning. When we sat down to eat she mentioned that she was a vegetarian. I wanted a cheeseburger, but for some reason when I heard this, I ordered something else. Afterwards we walked hand in hand along Riverside Park. When we stopped to sit on a bench, a former online date of mine roller-bladed past us. For some reason I took this as a sign that the woman on her blades was my past and the woman beside me was my present and future. And, I have not eaten meat since that day. Was it love at first sight?
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My wife and I have been happily married for six years now and are the proud parents of a wonderful little boy. So is love at first sight possible for men? At least that’s how it worked for me. As a relationship expert, this is how I advise readers of my blog and listeners of my radio podcast when they ask questions. With so many wonderful available women looking for a good guy, it’s never been a better time to be a man. But to make the most of this opportunity, guys need to follow dating tips that make room for love, and take a little bit of extra time to look beyond a woman’s exterior and into her heart.
Robert is the author of The Guy’ Guy’s Guide To Love, a novel praised as the “Men’s successor to Sex and the City.” Robert’s website, RobertManni.com, features his syndicated blog, media appearances and other projects.
