Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: “Don’t You Dare Valentine Me”Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: “Don’t You Dare Valentine Me”

By Mario P. Cloutier and Diane Sawaya Cloutier

We were at an airport recently, waiting in the gate area for our flight to board when an incident inspiring relationship advice presented itself to us. Sitting close by was a middle-aged woman who was literally unloading her romantic life frustrations on a lady, whom we hoped, was a friend of hers. She kept lining up one anecdote behind another about how insensitive her boyfriend was to her. With no apparent shame, (she was so loud that we wished she could have been the gate attendant giving us the flight status information) she carried on describing how “her guy” seemed to get a kick out of giving her stupid gifts and cards on special occasions. She said, “For my last birthday, he gave me a card that said, ‘Old age has its benefits. You can now have all your meals in a cup to go.’ and the accompanying present was a plastic cup with a straw and a set of fake dentures.”

And just as we both thought we had heard everything there was to hear, the poor woman dropped the bomb on us. She said, “Now with Valentine’s day just around the corner, I soooo much hope he will spoil me with something decent, you know… Something that will show how much he loves me. I just want to feel loved!”

We exchanged looks for a moment, probably debating for a flip of a second if one of us should jump in the conversation, when all of a sudden we were gracefully saved by the bell. Our group had been called and it was time to board.

Of course a lot could be said about that story and the lady in particular. But in spite of it all, what it really triggered and reminded us, was how much importance many people tend to put on Valentine’s Day, and how they literally place it on a pedestal. For several, it doesn’t matter how dysfunctional the relationship may be the rest of the year, as long as when February 14th comes along, “I get spoiled and the whole wide world gets to see HOW MUCH I AM LOOOOOVED!”

Relationship Coaches Share Relationship Advice on Valentine’s Day

Here’s the 1st part of the whole Valentine deal:

There is nothing wrong with having one or more calendar dates that remind you when it all began or how blessed you are to have each other. In fact, that’s what it boils down to — individuality and specificity. It’s something that shouts loud and clear that this relationship of yours is special, and, it is your own. It’s not Cupid’s …
Love is not about conformity. Love is individual and specific.

Here’s the 2nd part of the whole Valentine deal:

If you’ve not shown me in the past 364 days, through your day-to-day small attentions, talks, gestures and overall affectionate behaviour that you love me and cherish our relationship; or if we’ve just started going out and your only smart and funny way to show me your love is with some sort of boneheaded gift or card, I’m telling you right now…


Authors, relationship coaches and HuffingtonPost contributors Diane and Mario Cloutier found each other in 1998 after they both had experienced unfulfilling relationships. Their new book, Relovenship™ – Look Within to Love Again! (Xclamat!on Media, 2015) gives inspiration, hope and  a step-by-step methodology to people who have had romantic disappointments and are still looking to find “the one.” Mario Cloutier is founder and chief creative officer of Xclamat!ion Marketing. Diane Sawaya Cloutier enjoyed a successful career in managerial roles with Fortune 500 organizations before focusing fulltime on the couple’s ReLovenship™ book and seminars. For booking inquiries or to learn more about the authors, go to