Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice: Is Trick-or-Treating with Your Love Life a Good Idea?Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice: Is Trick-or-Treating with Your Love Life a Good Idea?

By Mario P. Cloutier and Diane Sawaya Cloutier

Yes, it’s that time of year again. Soon we’ll have legions of little devils and princesses running high on sugar, banging on our doors and willing to put on their best act in the hopes of stocking up on more sweets. Quite frankly, we love Halloween. For us, it’s an opportunity to bask in the excitement of the smiling faces at our door and share some love.

But when it comes to love, is Halloween a metaphor for what your love life has become? Could trick or treating describe the type of encounters you have with romantic partners? We have some dating advice for you.

If you keep attracting the wrong individuals or repeating the same mistakes in your choice of partners, you may be prey to the trickery behind this cast of characters and missing out on the treat:

The desperate treat beggar:
This one will keep his finger on your doorbell until you open the door… even if the lights are out! He is so needy, he’ll do ANYTHING to seduce you–disguise his true self, compromise his values, lie, accept mistreatment, and more. This is a role nobody should ever take on. Disguising oneself to become love-worthy is not sustainable in a romantic relationship.

The deceiving treat giver:
This person appears to be nothing but giving, but she’s only passing out rotten apples and stale candy. Do you know why? Because she loves the deception! She loves to cheat and oftentimes she’ll pursue more than one relationship at a time. Be wary, because this person can frequently be found offering her “treats” on multiple online dating sites.

The savvy treat seeker:
This one has a specific strategy to her treat collecting. You’ll never see her knocking on a door with limited candy supplies. She’s after the big, opulent, flashy treats–the full-size chocolate bars and the like. As a result, she will completely disregard more modest offerings, even if they were lovingly handcrafted for the occasion. Such treat seekers find instant gratification, but rarely end up in a fulfilling relationship.

The leveraging treat giver:
This guy gets a kick from negotiating and… he never stops! “Ok kids, who’s willing to count to 100 for these two candies here?” And, once you’ve performed it, he cranks up his request! “Alright, now do it backwards.” He’s the perpetual “I’ll give you this if you give me that” kind of person in his relationships. The ultimate “what’s in it FOR ME!” kind of guy. Even if you like the looks of his treats, the question is, do you really need that?

If you have known one or more of these characters, we have only one piece of advice to give you: Take control of your FEAR. Identify what it is that prevents you from slamming the door on these pretenders, and start to confront it. Don’t fall for the same tricks or settle for mediocre treats. Otherwise, you’ll end up trick or treating a lot more than just your love life.

Authors and relationship coaches Diane and Mario Cloutier found each other in 1998 after they both had experienced unfulfilling relationships. Their new book, Relovenship™ – Look Within to Love Again (Xclamat!on Media, 2015) gives inspiration, hope and a step-by-step methodology to people who have had romantic disappointments and are still looking to find “the one.” Mario Cloutier is founder and chief creative officer of Xclamat!ion Marketing. Diane Sawaya Cloutier enjoyed a successful career in managerial roles with Fortune 500 organizations before focusing fulltime on the couple’s ReLovenship™ book and seminars. Learn more at